"If I lose her," he said to himself, "I must remember that--of course I ought to. King Cophetua and the beggar maid makes a very pretty story--but it doesn"t sound so well the other way around. And then she"s given me such a tremendous amount already--if I never get any more, I must be thankful for that."
Sally spent a rapturous week in New York, and came home with her modest trousseau all bought and glowing accounts of the good times she had had.
"The very first thing Sylvia did, the morning after we got there," she said, "was to buy a new limousine and hire a man to run it. My, you ought to see it! It"s lined with pearl gray, and Sylvia keeps a gold vase with orchids--fresh ones every day--in it! She helped me choose all my things, and I never could have got half so much for my money, or had half such pretty things if she hadn"t; and she began right off to get the most _elegant_ clothes for herself, too! I knew Sylvia was pretty, but I never knew _how_ pretty until I saw her in a low-necked white dress! We went to the theatre almost every evening, and saw all the sights, besides--it didn"t take long to get around in that automobile, I can tell you!
Perfect rafts of people kept coming to see her all the time, telling her how glad they were to see her back, and teasing her to do things with them. I bet she"ll get married again in no time--there were _dozens_ of men, all awfully rich and attractive and apparently just _crazy_ about her! We went out twice to lunch, and once to dinner, at the grandest houses I ever even imagined, and every one was lovely to me, too, but of course it was only Sylvia they really cared about. I was about wild, I got so excited, but it didn"t make any more impression on Sylvia than water rolling off a duck"s back--she didn"t seem the least bit different from when she was here, helping mother wash the supper dishes, and teaching Austin French. She took it all as a matter of course. I guess we didn"t any of us realize how important she was."
"I did," said Austin.
"You!" exclaimed his sister, with withering scorn. "You"ve never been even civil to her, much less respectful or attentive! If you could see the way other men treat her--"
"I don"t want to," said Austin, with more truth than his sister guessed.
A young, lovely, and agreeable widow, with a great deal of money, and no "impediments" in the way of either parents or children, is apt to find life made extremely pleasant for her by her friends; and every one felt, moreover, that "Sylvia had behaved so very well." For two months after her husband"s death, she had lived in the greatest seclusion, too ill, too disillusioned and horror-stricken, too shattered in body and soul--as they all knew only too well--to see even her dearest friends. Then she had gone to the country, remaining there quietly for a year, regaining her health and spirits, and had now returned to her uncle"s home, lightening her mourning, going out a little, taking up her old interests again one by one--a fitting and dignified prelude for a new establishment of her own. She could not help being pleased and gratified at the warmth of her reception; and she found, as Austin had predicted, that "New York looked pretty good to her." It is doubtful whether the taste for luxury, once acquired, is ever wholly lost, even though it may be temporarily cast aside; and Sylvia was too young and too human, as well as too healthy and happy again, not to enjoy herself very much, indeed.
For nearly a month she found each day so full and so delightful as it came, that she had no time to be lonely, and no thought of going away; but gradually she came to a realization of the fact that the days were _too_ full; that there were no opportunities for resting and reading and "thinking things over"; that the quiet little dinners and luncheons of four and six, given in her honor, were gradually but surely becoming larger, more formal and more elaborate; that her circle of callers was no longer confined to her most intimate friends; that her telephone rang in and out of season; that the city was growing hot and dusty and tawdry, and that she herself was getting tired and nervous again. And when she waked one morning at eleven o"clock, after being up most of the night before, her head aching, her whole being weary and confused, it needed neither the insistent and disagreeable memory of a little incident of the previous evening, nor the letter from Austin that her maid brought in on her breakfast-tray, to make her realize that the tinsel of her gayety was getting tarnished.
DEAREST (the letter ran):
It is midnight, and--as you know--I am always up at five, but I must send you just a few words before I go to bed, for these last two days have been so full that it has seemed to be impossible to find a moment in which to write you. "Business is rushing" at the Gray Homestead these days, and everything going finely. The chickens and ducklings are all coming along well--about four hundred of them--and we"ve had three beautiful new heifer calves this week. Peter is beside himself with joy, for they"re all Holsteins. I went to Wallacetown yesterday afternoon, and made another $200 payment on our note at the bank--at this rate we"ll have that halfway behind us soon.
To-day I"ve been over at your house every minute that I could spare and succeeded in getting the last workman out--for good--at eight o"clock this evening. (I bribed him to stay overtime. There are a few little odd jobs left, but I can work those in myself in odd moments.) There is no reason now why you shouldn"t begin to send furniture any time you like. I never would have believed that it would be possible to get three such good bedrooms--not to mention a bathroom and closets--out of the attic, or that tearing out part.i.tions and unblocking fireplaces would work such wonders downstairs. It"s all just as you planned it that first day we tramped over in the snow to see it--do you remember?--and it"s all lovely, especially your bedroom on the right of the front door, and the big living-room on the left. The papers you chose are exactly right for the walls, and the white paint looks so fresh and clean, and I"m sure the piazza is deep enough to suit even you. I"ve ploughed and planted your flower- and vegetable-gardens, as well as those at the Homestead, and this warm, early spring is helping along the vegetation finely, so I think things will soon be coming up. We"ve decided to try both wheat and alfalfa as experiments this year, and I can hardly wait to see whether they"ll turn out all right.
Katherine graduates from high school the eighteenth of June, and as Sally"s teaching ends the same day, and Fred"s patience has finally given out with a bang, she has fixed the twenty-fifth for her wedding. Won"t she be busy, with just one week to get ready to be a bride, after she stops being a schoolmarm? But, of course, we"ll all turn to and help her, and Molly will be home from the Conservatory ten days before that--you know how efficient she is. By the way, has she written you the good news about her scholarship? We may have a famous musician in the family yet, if some mere man doesn"t step in and intervene. Speaking of lovers, Peter is teaching Edith Dutch! And when mother remonstrated with her, she flared up and asked if it was any different from having you teach me French! (I sometimes believe "the baby" is "onto us," though all the others are still entirely unsuspicious, and keep right on telling me I never half appreciated you!) So they spend a good deal of time at the living-room table, with their heads rather close together, but I haven"t yet heard Edith conversing fluently in that useful and musical foreign language which she is supposed to be acquiring.
I haven"t had a letter from you in nearly a week, but I"m sure, if you weren"t well and happy, Mr. Stevens would let us know. I"m glad you"re having such a good time--you certainly deserve it after being cooped up so long. Sorry you think it isn"t suitable for you to dance yet, for, of course, you would enjoy that a lot, but you can pretty soon, can"t you?
Good-night, darling. G.o.d bless you always!
AUSTIN
There was something in the quiet, restrained tone of the letter, with its details of homely, everyday news, and the tidings of his care and interest in her little house, that touched Sylvia far more than many pages of pa.s.sionate outpouring of loneliness and longing could have done.
She knew that the loneliness and longing were there, even though he would not say so, and she turned from the great bunch of American Beauties which had also come in with her breakfast-tray, with something akin almost to disgust as she thought of Austin"s tiny bunch of arbutus--his "bouquet des fiancailles," as he had called it--the only thing, besides the little star, that he had ever given her. She called her maid, and announced that in the future she would never be at home to a certain caller; then she reached for the telephone beside her bed and cancelled all her engagements for the next few days, on the plea of not feeling well, which was perfectly true; and then she called up Western Union, and dispatched a long telegram, after which she indulged in a comforting and salutary outburst of tears.
"It will serve me quite right if he won"t come," she sobbed. "I wouldn"t if I were he, not one step--and he"s just as stubborn as I am. I never was half good enough for him, and now I"ve neglected him, and frittered away my time, and even flirted with other men--when I"d scratch out the eyes of any other woman if she dared to look at him. It"s to be hoped that he doesn"t find out what a frivolous, empty-headed, silly, vain little fool I am--though it probably would be better for him in the end if he did."
Sylvia pa.s.sed a very unhappy day, as she richly deserved to do. For the woman who gives a man a new ideal to live for, and then, carelessly, herself falls short of the standard she has set for him, often does as great and incalculable harm as the woman who has no standards at all.
Uncle Mat received a distinct shock when he reached his apartment that night, to find that his niece, dressed in a severely plain black gown, was dining at home alone with him. Before he finished his soup he received another shock.
"Austin Gray is coming to New York," she said, coolly, b.u.t.tering a cracker; "I have just had a telegram saying he will take a night train, and get in early in the morning--eight o"clock, I believe. I think I"ll go and meet him at the station. Are you willing he should come here, and sleep on the living-room sofa, as you suggested once before, or shall I take him to a hotel?"
"Bring him here by all means," returned her bewildered relative; "I like that boy immensely. What streak of good luck is setting him loose? I thought he was tied hand and foot by bucolic occupations."
"Apparently he has found some means of escape," said Sylvia; "would you care to read aloud to me this evening?"
CHAPTER XIII
"Why, Sylvia, my dear! I never dreamed that you would come to meet me!"
Austin was, indeed, almost beside himself with surprise and delight when, as he left the train and walked down the long platform in the Grand Central Station, he saw Sylvia, dressed in pure white serge, standing near the gate. He waved his hat like a schoolboy, and hurried forward, setting down his suit-case to grip her hands in both of his.
"Have you had any breakfast?" she asked, as they started off.
"Yes, indeed, an hour ago."
"Then where would you like to go first? I have the motor here, and we"re both entirely at your disposal."
He hesitated a moment, and then said, laughing, "It didn"t occur to me that you"d come to the station, and I fully intended to go somewhere and get a hair-cut that wouldn"t proclaim me as coming straight from Hamstead, Vermont, and replenish the wardrobe that looked so inexhaustible to me last fall, before I presented myself to you."
Sylvia joined in his laugh. "Go ahead. I"ll sit in the motor and wait for you. Afterwards we"ll go shopping together."
"To buy things like these?" he asked, eyeing her costume with approval.
"No. I have enough clothes now. I was going to begin choosing our furniture--and thought you might be interested. Get in, dear, this is ours," she said, walking up to the limousine which Sally had described with such enthusiasm, and which now stood waiting for her, its door held open by a French chauffeur, who was smiling with true Gallic appreciation of his mistress"s "affaire de coeur," "and here," she added, after they were comfortably seated inside, taking a gardenia from the flower-holder, "is a posy I"ve got for you."
"Thank you. Have you anything else?" he asked, folding his hand over hers as she pinned it on.
"Oh, Austin, you"re such a funny lover!"
"Why?"
"Because you nearly always--ask beforehand. Why don"t you take what you"ve a perfect right to--if you want it?"
"Possibly because I don"t feel I have a perfect right to--or sure that I have any right at all," he answered gravely, "and I can"t believe it"s really real yet, anyway. You see, I only had two days with you--the new way--before you left, and I had no means of knowing when I should have any more--and a good deal of doubt as to whether I deserved any."
There was no reproach in the words at all, but so much genuine humility and patience that Sylvia realized more keenly than ever how selfish she had been.
"You"ll make me cry if you talk to me like that!" she said quickly. "Oh, Austin, I"ve countless things to say to you, but first of all I want to tell you that I"ll never leave you like this again, that it"s--just as real as _I am_, that you can have just as many days as you care to now, and that I"ll spend them all showing you how much right you have!" And she threw her arms around his neck and drew his face down to hers, oblivious alike of Andre on the front seat and all the pa.s.sing crowds on Fifth Avenue.
"Don"t," Austin said after a moment. "We mustn"t kiss each other like that when some one might see us--I forgot, for a minute, that there _was_ any one else in the world! Besides, I"m afraid, if we do, I"ll let myself go more than I mean to--it"s all been stifled inside me so long--and be almost rough, and startle or hurt you. I couldn"t bear to have that happen to you--again. I want you always to feel safe and shielded with me."
"Safe! I hope I"ll be as safe in heaven as I am with you! Don"t you think I know what you"ve been through this last year?"
"No, I don"t," he said pa.s.sionately; "I hope not, anyway. And that was before I ever touched you, besides. It"s different now. I shan"t kiss you again to-day, my dear, except"--raising her hand to his lips--"like this.
Are you going to wait for me here?" he ended quietly, as the motor began to slow down in front of the Waldorf.
"No," she said, her voice trembling; "I"m going to church, "to thank G.o.d, kneeling, for a good man"s love." Come for me there, when you"re ready."
"Are you in earnest?"
"I never was more so."