"To restore me to health will not help me. Death alone will give me peace. Last night, when I fell down by the roadside, I hoped that I should die. Why did you save me?"
"I knew not that you were in such deep trouble. But however deep it is, self-destruction is a great sin. Never be guilty of such an act.
To kill one"s self is as sinful as to kill another."
"I have not tried to kill myself; death has approached voluntarily, therefore I hoped; but even in dying I have no joy." Saying these words, Surja Mukhi"s voice broke, and she began to weep.
The _Brahmachari_ said: "Whenever you speak of dying I see you weep; you wish to die. Mother, I am like a son to you; look upon me as such, and tell me your wish. If there is any remedy for your trouble, tell me, and I will bring it about. Wishing to say this, I have sent Haro Mani away, and am sitting alone with you. From your speech I infer that you belong to a very respectable family. That you are in a state of very great anxiety, I perceive. Why should you not tell me what it is? Consider me as your son, and speak."
Surja Mukhi, with wet eyes, said: "I am dying; why should I feel shame at such a time? I have no other trouble than this, that I am dying without seeing my husband"s face. If I could but see him once I should die happy."
The _Brahmachari_ wiped his eyes also, and said:
"Where is your husband? It is impossible for you to go to him now; but if he, on receiving the news, could come here, I would let him know by letter."
Surja Mukhi"s wan face expanded into a smile; then again becoming dejected, she said: "He could come, but I cannot tell if he would. I am guilty of a great offence against him, but he is full of kindness to me; he might forgive me, but he is far from here. Can I live till he comes?"
Finding, on further inquiry, that the Babu lived at Haripur Zillah, the _Brahmachari_ brought pen and paper, and, taking Surja Mukhi"s instructions, wrote as follows:
"SIR,--I am a stranger to you. I am a Brahman, leading the life of a _Brahmachari_. I do not even know who you are; this only I know, that Srimati Surja Mukhi Dasi is your wife. She is lying in a dangerous state of illness in the house of the _Boisnavi_ Haro Mani, in the village of Madhupur. She is under medical treatment, but it appears uncertain whether she will recover. Her last desire is to see you once more and die. If you are able to pardon her offence, whatever it may be, then pray come hither quickly. I address her as "Mother."
As a son I write this letter by her direction. She has no strength to write herself. If you come, do so by way of Ranigunj. Inquire in Ranigunj for Sriman Madhab Chandra, and on mentioning my name he will send some one with you. In this way you will not have to search Madhupur for the house. If you come, come quickly, or it may be too late. Receive my blessing.
"(Signed) SIVA PRASAD."
The letter ended, the _Brahmachari_ asked, "What address shall I write?"
Surja Mukhi replied, "When Haro Mani comes I will tell you."[15]
[Footnote 15: The wife does not utter the name of her husband except under stress of necessity.]
Haro Mani, having arrived, addressed the letter to Nagendra Natha Datta, and took it to the post-office. When the _Brahmachari_ had gone, Surja Mukhi, with tearful eyes, joined hands, and upturned face, put up her pet.i.tion to the Creator, saying, "Oh, supreme G.o.d, if you are faithful, then, as I am a true wife, may this letter accomplish its end. I knew nothing during my life save the feet of my husband. I do not desire heaven as the reward of my devotion; this only I desire, that I may see my husband ere I die."
But the letter did not reach Nagendra. He had left Govindpur long before it arrived there. The messenger gave the letter to the _Dewan,_ and went away. Nagendra had said to the _Dewan_, "When I stay at any place I shall write thence to you. When you receive my instructions, forward any letters that may have arrived for me."
In due time Nagendra reached Benares, whence he wrote to the _Dewan_, who sent Siva Prasad"s epistle with the rest of the letters. On receiving this letter Nagendra was struck to the heart, and, pressing his forehead, exclaimed in distress, "Lord of all the world, preserve my senses for one moment!"
This prayer reached the ear of G.o.d, and for a time his senses were preserved. Calling his head servant, he said, "I must go to-night to Ranigunj; make all arrangements."
The man went to do his bidding; then Nagendra fell senseless on the floor.
That night Nagendra left Benares behind him. Oh, world-enchanting Benares! what happy man could have quitted thee on such an autumn night with satiated eyes? It is a moonless night. From the Ganges stream, in whatever direction you look you will see the sky studded with stars--from endless ages ever-burning stars, resting never.
Below, a second sky reflected in the deep blue water; on sh.o.r.e, flights of steps, and tall houses showing a thousand lights; these again reflected in the river. Seeing this, Nagendra closed his eyes.
To-night he could not endure the beauty of earth. He knew that Siva Prasad"s letter had been delayed many days. Where was Surja Mukhi now?
CHAPTER XXIX.
HIRA"S POISON TREE HAS BLOSSOMED.
On the day when the _durwans_ had driven out Debendra Babu with bamboos, Hira had laughed heartily within herself. But later she had felt much remorse. She thought, "I have not done well to disgrace him; I know not how much I have angered him. Now I shall have no place in his thoughts; all my hopes are destroyed."
Debendra also was occupied in devising a plan of vengeance upon Hira for the punishment she had caused to be inflicted on him. At last he sent for Hira, and after one or two days of doubt she came. Debendra showed no displeasure, and made no allusion to what had occurred.
Avoiding that, he entered into pleasant conversation with her. As the spider spreads his net for the fly, so Debendra spread his net for Hira.
In the hope of obtaining her desire, Hira easily fell into the snare.
Intoxicated with Debendra"s sweet words, she was imposed upon by his crafty speech. She thought, "Surely this is love! Debendra loves me."
Hira was cunning, but now her cunning did not serve her. The power which the ancient poets describe as having been used to disturb the meditations of Siva, who had renounced pa.s.sion--by that power Hira had lost her cunning.
Then Debendra took his guitar, and, stimulated by wine, began to sing.
His rich and cultivated voice gave forth such honied waves of song, that Hira was as one enchanted. Her heart became restless, and melted with love of Debendra. Then in her eyes Debendra seemed the perfection of beauty, the essence of all that was adorable to a woman. Her eyes overflowed with tears springing from love.
Putting down his guitar, Debendra wiped away her tears. Hira shivered.
Then Debendra began such pleasant jesting, mingled with loving speeches, and adorned his conversation with such ambiguous phrases, that Hira, entranced, thought, "This is heavenly joy!" Never had she heard such words. If her senses had not been bewildered she would have thought, "This is h.e.l.l."
Debendra had never known real love; but he was very learned in the love language of the old poets. Hearing from Debendra songs in praise of the inexpressible delights of love, Hira thought of giving herself up to him. She became steeped in love from head to foot. Then again Debendra sang with the voice of the first bird of spring. Hira, inspired by love, joined in with her feminine voice. Debendra urged her to sing. Hira, with sparkling eyes and smiling face, impelled by her happy feelings, sang a love song, a pet.i.tion for love. Then, sitting in that evil room, with sinful hearts, the two, under the influence of evil desires, bound themselves to live in sin.
Hira knew how to subdue her heart, but having no inclination to do so she entered the flame as easily as an insect. Her belief that Debendra did not love her had been her protection until now. When her love for Debendra was but in the germ she smilingly confessed it to herself, but turned away from him without hesitation. When the full-grown pa.s.sion pierced her heart she took service to distract her thoughts.
But when she imagined he loved her she had no desire to resist.
Therefore she now had to eat the fruit of the poison tree.
People say that you do not see sin punished in this world. Be that true or not, you may be sure that those who do not rule their own hearts will have to bear the consequences.
CHAPTER x.x.x.
NEWS OF SURJA MUKHI.
It is late autumn. The waters from the fields are drying up; the rice crop is ripening; the lotus flowers have disappeared from the tanks.
At dawn, dew falls from the boughs of the trees; at evening, mist rises over the plains. One day at dawn a palanquin was borne along the Madhupur road. At this sight all the boys of the place a.s.sembled in a row; all the daughters and wives, old and young, resting their water-vessels on the hip, stood awhile to gaze. The husbandmen, leaving the rice crop, sickle in hand and with turbaned heads, stood staring at the palanquin. The influential men of the village sat in committee. A booted foot was set down from the palanquin: the general opinion was that an English gentleman had arrived; the children thought it was Bogie.
When Nagendra Natha had descended from the palanquin, half a dozen people saluted him because he wore pantaloons and a smoking-cap. Some thought he was the police inspector; others that he was a constable.
Addressing an old man in the crowd, Nagendra inquired for Siva Prasad _Brahmachari_.
The person addressed felt certain that this must be a case of investigation into a murder, and that therefore it would not be well to give a truthful answer. He replied, "Sir, I am but a child; I do not know as much as that."
Nagendra perceived that unless he could meet with an educated man he would learn nothing. There were many in the village, therefore Nagendra went to a house of superior cla.s.s. It proved to be that of Ram Kristo Rai, who, noticing the arrival of a strange gentleman, requested him to sit down. Nagendra, inquiring for Siva Prasad _Brahmachari_, was informed that he had left the place.
Much dejected, Nagendra asked, "Where is he gone?"
"That I do not know; he never remains long in one place."
"Does any one know when he will return?" asked Nagendra.