Chapter 1229: Will His Temper Improve?
She thought back to nine years ago when the cracks in her marriage with Ye Hao had intensified. She could still remember everything that happened back then and still remember how she felt when she had a mental breakdown and the helplessness she felt when she wasn’t left with a choice. However, Professor Lan was right. She failed to give enough consideration to her actions. She didn’t expect Ye Hao to be so sensitive. They failed to communicate well with each other which led to their problems and misunderstandings s...o...b..lling and worsening.
“Professor Lan, I see what you mean,” He Xiyan said as she took a deep breath. She also knew that she had made mistakes in both marriages.
Professor Lan nodded.
“He was in the wrong for hitting you and your child. This also shows that your ex-husband get agitated easily and didn’t know how to handle his own emotions. This problem is amplified in the way he handles his relations.h.i.+ps. He is extremely insecure, so he would completely ignore you in an effort to get your attention and also use it to express his displeasure. When he fails to completely vent his anger by ignoring you, he would switch to violence. This is why he hit you and your child in his bout of anger. He lost control of emotions the moment he resorted to violence.”
Professor Lan drew upon her professional experience to a.n.a.lyze the problem.
He Xiyan frowned as she looked at Professor Lan.
“Dr. Lan, do you think he will be able to control his temper?” He Xiyan asked. She was well aware of Ye Hao’s terrible personality and temper. When she was married to him, she always hated it when he got angry because he always shut her out and refused to speak to her.
Professor Lan couldn’t help but sigh and shake her head.
He Xiyan froze in surprise.
“You mean he wouldn’t be able to change?” she repeated.
“A leopard can’t change its spots. I think it will be extremely difficult for him to change, especially since he is no longer a young man and his personality was already determined some time ago. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that he will never change. If he is already aware of his mistakes and is subconsciously willing to change, there might be some improvement. As women, we must voice our strong objections whenever we are victims of domestic violence, regardless of when and the reason for which it happened and even more so the first time it happens. We have to draw our partners away from the ‘it was an accident’ and it was at the spur of the moment’ mentality and punish them strictly so that they will recognize the error of their ways. They have to suffer for a few days to remember that this is wrong. It would be even better if they become frightened at the mere mention of domestic violence and grow to fear the consequences whenever they raise their hand to hit you next. The strong would always prey on the weak and this is an unshakeable law of survival in the animal kingdom. Similarly, we can also apply this to our homes and marriages. The timid would fear the bold and the bold would fear those who are willing to lay their life on the line. Men are able to abuse their spouses because of their superior strength, so similarly, women must have the power to fight back even more forcefully.”
“Let us use your example for instance. You didn’t show any signs of resistance even after you experienced domestic violence on two occasions and you only felt upset and hurt without letting him know. This led your ex-husband to think that there wouldn’t be any consequences even if he hit you, so he wasn’t afraid of hitting you. If you had immediately left home or not returned home for several days after that incident, he might think that you will leave him if he hits you in the future. This might cause him to feel frightened which would lead him to be cautious about the consequences the next time he raises his hand,” she said.