My mother looks down at me. "A part of me will always be here for you to love, Lucifer. Look at her," my mother urges. "How can you not see me in her?"
Lucifer looks down at me but says nothing.
My mother reaches a hand out and grabs hold of Lucifer"s arm.
"Please," she begs, crying. "Please tell me you"ll look after our child. Tell me you can show her the love you"ve shown me."
Lucifer remains silent as he stares at me. Finally, he raises his eyes to look at my mother"s face.
"All right," he says, sounding defeated. "I"ll do it for you."
My mother smiles wanly, and I can tell she knows he"s lying to her.
"Oh Lucifer," she says weakly on the precipice of death. "If only you knew..."
My mother goes completely limp as death claims her body.
Lucifer stands up. He continues to stare at my mother for a long while. When I finally begin to cry, he reaches down and picks me up. Even though I know what will happen next, a part of me hopes he will take me and do as my mother asked.
Instead, he turns to the others in the room and asks, "Which of you is willing to take on the responsibility of raising Amalie"s child?"
My papa steps forward before anyone else has a chance.
"I will," he says to Lucifer. "I will raise her as if she were my own."
Lucifer hands me over to my papa and stares at me for a moment before saying, "She would never find true happiness with me like Amalie thought. And I refuse to corrupt Amalie"s last gift to this world."
"I understand," my papa says, not judging Lucifer in the slightest for his decision. "I promise she will always know that she"s loved by me and those around her. You don"t have to worry about her physical or emotional well-being."
Lucifer nods, accepting that my papa"s words are true.
He phases away and the scene fades to black.
"Poor Lucifer," Helena utters mockingly.
I turn to see her bent at the waist looking into Lucifer"s face. Tears of sorrow cascade freely from Lucifer"s eyes, yet he still looks frozen into place, completely lost in his last memory of my mother. Helena reaches out a hand and follows a trail of tears down one of his cheeks with her index finger. She brings the tip of her finger to her mouth and spreads his tears on her ruby red lips like its lipstick. She smiles before standing back up and turning to face me.
"There"s nothing quite as sweet as the taste of pure sorrow," she says to me. "I"ve tasted it quite often over the years from Lucifer"s tears. Yet, I can never seem to get enough of them."
Her heartless words awaken something dark inside me. It"s a hatred so vile I feel on the verge of losing control of it. I grab Helena by the throat and lift her off the ground, my hands burst into blue flames.
"Stop torturing him," I order her, through clenched teeth.
Helena begins to laugh, and I squeeze her throat even harder making her laughs turn to gurgles. I hold her in place like that for a long while before I loosen my grip a little to allow her to speak.
"Like father like daughter, I see. Do you think you"re actually hurting me?" She taunts viciously. "You"re simply feeding me, making me into something greater with your loathing. I live for hate. I live for pain. I live to make your world a living h.e.l.l. So do your worst to me, my dear, because it only makes me stronger."
I let go of Helena. She lands on her feet looking unphased by my actions. If anything, she looks even more pleased with herself.
"Release him from your spell," I tell her.
"No," she says succinctly. "And don"t bother to come up with more threats. Th ere"s nothing you can do to truly harm me. I"m not something you can simply kill, Anna. Your puny little monkey brain can"t possibly comprehend what I am. There"s only one way I will ever let Lucifer go-- if you take his place."
"No!" Lucifer shouts.
Helena looks startled by Lucifer"s outburst. I get the feeling she didn"t think he was able to hear our exchange. Perhaps her hold on him isn"t as strong as she believes.
"Anna," Lucifer says, standing to his feet, dislodging the snow on his body with his movements, "leave this place and never return. I"ll handle this thing."
Helena begins to laugh but it comes out sounding more like an insane person"s cackle.
"Handle me?" She asks incredulously. "You act as though you still have control down here, Lucifer. It"s been years since you did. I am the master of this domain now, not you."
Lucifer looks over at me. "Leave. Let me handle this."
"We would be stronger together," I argue.
Lucifer shakes his head. "I don"t need your help. Just leave."
I stay, hoping he"ll change his mind.
"Leave!" He shouts at me.
I phase back to the actual courtyard at Malcolm"s house. I sit down on the snow-covered bench and think through everything I just witnessed in h.e.l.l. The remorse I"ve felt over my mother"s death bubbles over, and I begin to cry uncontrollably from the breaking of my heart. Before I know it, Malcolm is drawing me into his arms, holding me against his chest. He phases us to the couch in his study, presumably to get me out of the cold. I cry against his chest, letting all of my pent up sorrow from years of guilt finally find release.
Once I"m able to stop crying and pull myself together, I tell Malcolm everything that happened. He patiently listens to what I say even though I can tell he"s disappointed to hear that I made another trip to h.e.l.l.
"I hope you listen to Lucifer this time. It"s obvious you won"t listen to me," Malcolm says, sounding slightly frustrated. "You should never go back there, Anna. She"s just goading you into giving into your hate. It"s what she wants. The more she can make you hate her. The more power she can siphon from you. She"s like a leech whose only purpose is to cause discord and loathing."
"I know," I say. "And I understand that, but I couldn"t just let her torture Lucifer with his own memories. I had to try and save him."
"You can"t protect everyone," Malcolm tells me gently, "Lucifer least of all. h.e.l.l is only as powerful as it is because he made it that way. He"s simply become a victim of his own creation, Anna. There"s nothing you can do for him."
I sit up straighter and look at Malcolm.
"Do you really believe that?" I ask. "Do you believe he"s beyond saving? Because I refuse to think that way. I think he can be saved. I think he wants to be saved, Malcolm."
"Don"t project your own desires onto him," Malcolm warns. "If you go down that path, you might lose yourself in the process. Lucifer made his choice a long time ago, Anna. When he defied our father and brought war to Heaven, he built a wall so high around himself that not even G.o.d Himself can breach it."
"But don"t you think Lucifer has learned from his mistakes after all these years? Don"t you think a person can find himself again and realize how wrong he"s been?"
"Of course I do. It happened to me after I met Lilly."
"Then why don"t you think it could happen to Lucifer too? Malcolm," I say, grabbing one of his hands because I want to make sure he understands my position on the subject, "I believe Lucifer can be saved. In a way, I feel like I was born to show him his true self again. When we"re together, it"s almost like he"s able to let his guard down a little. He may not have wanted my birth to happen, but now I think he understands why it had to. I think G.o.d sent me down here to save him from himself."
Malcolm shakes his head. "I truly don"t believe Lucifer can care for anyone more than he does himself, Anna. I mean look at what he did to Amalie. He loved her more than anyone in his life. Yet, he turned his back on her when she needed his strength the most. He lied to her on her deathbed about agreeing to raise you. I think you"re letting your empathy for him cloud your better judgment where he"s concerned."
"And I think you"re letting your hatred of him cloud yours, Malcolm."
"Perhaps," Malcolm concedes, absently rubbing his injured leg. "I just have a hard time imagining he can be the person you want him to be."
I lean against Malcolm again, resting my head on his chest and drawing strength from his warmth. I feel cold inside after my visit to h.e.l.l and confrontation with Helena, but Malcolm"s natural warmth, something he"s commented on before, is like a healing balm, mending my soul until its whole again.
"I don"t know how you put up with me," I tell him. "You keep asking me not to go there but I keep going."
"I understand it"s just your nature to want to help people," Malcolm says, gliding a hand up and down my arm as he holds me close. "And I fear the pain you"ll feel when Lucifer ends up disappointing you."
I don"t say anything. I understand Malcolm"s point of view. I simply don"t agree with it.
I believe Lucifer can change. I just have to find a way to make both him and Malcolm believe it too.
Chapter 17.
For almost two weeks, Malcolm and I fall into a state of marital bliss. Our mornings start with us making love and our evenings end in the same fashion. During the day, we spend quality time with our son and watch him flourish under our tutelage. We decide that it"s a good idea for Lucas to not only learn how to master a sword, but also how to fight in hand-to-hand combat. Lucas" human frailties worry me greatly considering the world Malcolm and I live in and the creatures that we deal with. He will never be as strong as us or most of our enemies, but that doesn"t mean we should leave him completely defenseless.
With this fact in mind, I have Giles go to town and buy me something special for Lucas. One day, after his physical combat lesson with Malcolm, I present him with it.
"Come here, little man," I say to him, bending down on one knee so we are eye level with one another. "I have a gift for you."
Lucas runs over to me from his father"s side. The smile on his face is irresistible, and I can"t help but smile too.
"What is it?" He asks eagerly. "Are you going to have the babies?"
I laugh at Lucas" continued eagerness for his little sister and brother to be brought into the world. But, I"m still wearing the necklace Malcolm gave me on our wedding night to prevent me from conceiving our children just yet. Becoming pregnant right now simply isn"t the best idea considering the circ.u.mstances. Although we decided to delay children, it didn"t prevent us from practicing very vigorously for the day when we would be free to have them. I feel sure we can"t work at it much harder than we are, but that"s not exactly something I can tell our son.
"Not that I know of," I tell him instead. "But I hope you like this gift just the same."
I pull out a brown leather belted holster from the blue velvet bag in my hands. I hold it by the sheath and pull out the small silver dagger I retrieved from Levi the last time he and I fought. It may have been foolhardy for me to go to Cirrus to retrieve the first wedding dress Millie made me, but at least I came back with a useful souvenir.
"This dagger is very special," I tell Lucas. "It was forged by Uncle Brutus a long time ago, and it"s made out of silver that came straight from Heaven."
Lucas" eyes grow large in wonder and his mouth forms a little "O" in surprise.
"I want you to always wear it," I tell him, strapping the belt around his slim hips. "And if anyone ever tries to hurt you, you have our permission to use it on them. Just stab them with it and run as fast as you can away from them. Do you understand?"
Lucas nods. "Yes, Mommy."
"Having a weapon is a great responsibility," I tell him. "It"s not a toy. Only use it in defense of yourself or someone else who is in danger. Is that also understood?"
Lucas nods again. "I promise I won"t take it out unless I need to use it."
I bring Lucas into my arms and hug him tight, silently praying he never has to draw the dagger out of its sheath.
As I stand back up to my feet, I hear Kyna"s lilting laughter in the hallway outside the training room. It makes me smile to hear her so happy, and I know exactly why she is.
During the past two weeks, Brutus has become a mainstay in our home as he slowly started to woo the Princess of Stratus. When the courtship first began, I asked Malcolm why it seemed like Kyna hadn"t been immediately struck by the "love at first sight" soulmate syndrome that I had fallen victim to.
"She"s human," he answered, like this was explanation enough for the discrepancy.
"I"m human too," I said at the time, not seeing his response as a clear answer to my question.
"Yes, but you"re also part angel," Malcolm went on to say. "If a human is lucky enough to meet their soulmate, they don"t sense it right away. Take Jess for example. When she first met Mason, she didn"t exactly feel the earth beneath her feet give way. She was attracted to him, but her love for him wasn"t an immediate reaction. For those of us with angelic traits, like you, you know when you meet your soulmate the instant you see them. Brutus knew the moment he saw Kyna that she was meant for him, but for her, it"s taken a bit longer to feel the connection."
"Doesn"t seem quite fair," I admitted.
"Meeting your true soulmate is something that doesn"t happen very often between humans," Malcolm said. "If every human waited until they met their soulmate, the species might have died out a long time ago. People can love someone just as much without their souls being perfect matches to one another. Look at Daniel and Linn. He loves her just as fiercely as he would have his soulmate. They have a beautiful life together without that particular connection between them."
As I watch Kyna and Brutus walk hand in hand by the open door, I feel blessed to know I could help them share this time together. I doubt Kyna has had much in her life to be happy about and am thankful that Brutus has been given his chance at love. Desmond and Jered enter my thoughts, and I wonder how long it will take them to find their soulmates. After I complete my G.o.d given task, their long mission will also be complete. Perhaps G.o.d will see fit to present them with their own soulmates. I hope I get to see them as happy as Brutus is before I die, but know that such a thing might not happen. But I can hope...
Malcolm and I follow Lucas out of the training room holding hands. I see Vala walk towards us down the hall.
"You have visitors," she tells us. "Barlow and Gladson are here to see you. They said they"re ready to broadcast the video today."
"I was wondering how much longer it would take," I say, feeling a sense of relief that the day of reckoning for the cloud cities has finally arrived.
"I think they want to give you the honor of uploading it to the satellites," Vala tells me.
"Then let"s go."
Vala leads us to the sitting room where Barlow and Gladson are waiting on us.
"Well, I have to say married life seems to agree with you, Anna," Gladson tells me when we walk into the room. "I don"t think I"ve ever seen you look more beautiful. You"re practically glowing with happiness."
"Thank you," I say. "I don"t think I"ve ever been this content with my life to tell you the truth."
"Hopefully," Barlow joins in, "we can add to it today. Travis has the video ready to broadcast. All we need for you to do is push the b.u.t.ton to start this little revolution of ours."
"Then let"s go, gentleman. I"m ready to bring change to the world."
We all phase to Travis Stoke"s hideout. I still wasn"t quite sure what part of the world his workshop was located but figured the less I knew the better. Vala and Lucas come with us. It seems that their last trip to Travis" place was a memorable one allowing them to form a friendship with our brilliant young friend. After the visit, Lucas proclaimed that he wanted to be an engineer when he grew up. Vala said it seemed like Lucas had a natural skill with the things Travis showed him. I was just glad they both made a friend. Neither of them had many opportunities to meet new people since we rarely ever left our home.
I had a feeling Malcolm kept me out of the city of New Orleans because he didn"t want me to have to face the poverty of the down-worlders. I understood his need to keep me inside our happy bubble, but he would have to learn that in order for me to change what was wrong with the world I would have to see what needed to be altered first-hand. I didn"t push him on the issue because I knew we had enough to deal with. I would have to rely on Gladson and Barlow to be the flag bearers of our revolution until I quelled the threat the princes presented.
For the past two weeks, the other Watchers had been collecting information on the princes for me. It would have been foolhardy for us to simply go in and kill them. We had to consider the political ramifications of depriving each cloud city of their leaders. Lucifer placed them in positions of power that made it almost impossible for me to reach them. We all knew they had to die. It was just a matter of figuring out the best way to go about it. Although their deaths would have ended the threat they represented, a more serious problem would be leaving the cities without rulers.
However, I did make one request.
Seeing Olivia Ravensdale in Stratus made me even more determined to find a way to execute Botis for the murder of her husband. The only problem was Belphagor masquerading himself in the body of Empress Zhin. If I killed Belphagor to retrieve his seal, that would leave Botis in power since he was now wearing the skin of Emperor Rui. It was a no win situation that didn"t seem to have a practical solution.
When we reach Travis" place, we find him skate dancing around his workshop to some industrial music. After he sees us, he stops dancing and claps his hands twice to lower the volume.