She hesitated before blurting, "I was with John."
"John? Who the h.e.l.l is John?"
"The guy I told you about. Dr. John Irwin, the one who owns the surgical practice. My new job."
"Your new boss?" Sadie asked, dumbfounded.
Dawn began crying softly. "I didn"t want Noel to find out this way. I didn"t want to hurt him, really I didn"t. Things just kind of happened."
Sadie shook her head slowly from side to side.
"I"ll put the coffee on. Come over and we"ll talk about it."
"Thanks, but I think I should talk to Noel first. I owe him that much. I"m on my way home to see him."
"Good luck. Call me later."
After she placed the phone back on the cradle, Sadie dressed in sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee. She found her good running shoes far in the back of the front closet and slipped them on. After a few stretches in her foyer, she set her alarm and left her house, stepping outside into the predawn darkness. Her rhythm was fast out of necessity and stress. She was jogging her second mile when the sun peeked out from the horizon and inched up into the first rain-free sky in weeks. The cool air burned her lungs, and sweat traced a line down the center of her back.
She had no idea how long it had been since she"d gone jogging. Certainly months. Maybe even a year. It felt d.a.m.n good in a pathetic huffing and puffing kind of way.
Back home, she got into the shower and stood under the hot spray. Her body ached with a good fatigue and her head felt clear. In spite of the previous night"s lack of sleep and crying jag, she was invigorated.
Sadie felt like she"d finally made a kind of peace with Brian"s death. A realization that it was time to move on. For the first time since the fifth anniversary of his death, she even felt hungry. Instead of reaching for her usual morning toast, she made a small stack of pancakes, drowned them in syrup, and inhaled the entire plate.
When Pam came by, she was washing her dishes and in relatively good spirits.
"Oh my G.o.d, you"re whistling. Did you get laid?"
"No." Sadie laughed at the prospect. "Who the h.e.l.l would I screw? The last man who kissed me set me up to be arrested for burglary and then hired someone to take a shot at me."
"You"re joking, right?"
Sadie didn"t reply.
"Well, there"s always Zack," Dawn said. "I"ve seen the way he looks at you."
"Hmmm. Zack." Sadie shook her head, feeling not nearly as relaxed as she had a minute before. "I"ve got some major sucking up to do. I don"t want him to quit."
"This sounds interesting. What did you do? I hope it"s something that involves s.e.xual hara.s.sment."
"I brought up the fact that he was forced to quit the police force because of an addiction to painkillers."
"Huh. So that"s why he"s no longer a cop. I always wondered."
"It"s not something he"s proud of, so of course I threw it in his face and then rubbed his nose in it in a real b.i.t.c.hy manner."
"Wow, when you hit below the belt, you really aim for the b.a.l.l.s."
"I didn"t mean it."
"Really?"
"Well, he brought up Brian and I lashed out."
"Man, I"ve taken a few of those shots from you myself."
"It"s a sore spot," Sadie admitted.
"And Brian"s death isn"t hard on the rest of us? I"m tired of you acting like you"re the only one in pain."
"Part of me was always hoping I"d get to see Brian. Ask him why he did it." She straightened. "But I"m done with all that. I"m putting it behind me and moving forward."
"This is a lot of deep thinking for so early in the day."
"Yeah, and now I"m off to beg Zack"s forgiveness."
"Good luck. Just say you"re sorry and if that doesn"t work, stick your tongue down his throat."
Sadie agreed to apologizing (not to sticking her tongue down Zack"s throat), but she still put it off as long as possible. Once she"d done all her laundry, organized some boxes in the garage, and tackled Hairy"s litter box, she knew she couldn"t procrastinate any longer.
She could"ve just picked up the phone, but she figured she owed Zack a face-to-face apology. Besides, she wasn"t quite sure he wouldn"t just hang up on her.
He lived in a small apartment complex in Bellevue. Sadie parked in the back lot and walked around to use the main entrance. She took the stairs up to the second floor. At Zack"s apartment, she noticed his newspaper in the corridor, announcing that he was probably still inside. She picked up the Seattle Times, took a deep breath, and rapped louder than necessary on his door.
Sadie was counting on the element of surprise to help her apologize before Zack could get a word in edgewise. When the door opened, she was the one surprised.
"Yes?" asked a tall, slim brunette who was obviously naked beneath a man"s bathrobe.
"Oh, I"m-" Sadie gulped. "I"m looking for Zack. Zack Bowman."
"Zack!" the woman shouted over her shoulder. "Someone at the door for you." She turned back to look at Sadie, scrutinizing her openly.
"Sadie, hi!"
His hair was tousled from sleep and his chin dark with stubble. He wore sweatpants but no shirt.
Zack nudged the brunette. "Give us a minute."
Her hips swayed as she sauntered casually away. Zack nodded to Sadie.
"What"s up?"
"I owe you an apology," Sadie said humbly.
"Really. Hmmm." He folded his arms across his bare chest. "Did you bring coffee and donuts?"
"Uh, no, I didn"t."
He frowned.
"Seems like if you"re going to wake someone up to say you"re sorry, you should at least bring coffee and donuts. Come back when you"ve got the goods."
He took the newspaper from her hands and firmly closed the door in her face.
Sadie stood with her mouth hanging open for a number of seconds before she turned and left. Back at her car, she cursed and debated whether or not he was pulling her leg. In the end she decided not to take any chances. Half an hour later she returned, precariously balancing a box of Krispy Kremes, two hot coffees, and a bouquet of spring flowers. The last were an apology for the brunette.
Once outside Zack"s apartment again, Sadie kicked the door with her toe, since her hands were full. She wasn"t looking forward to having to grovel and plead forgiveness in front of Zack"s girlfriend, who was beautiful even though she"d just rolled out of bed.
"You brought this on yourself," she murmured while waiting for the door.
This time when he opened up, his face was clean-shaven, his hair was still damp from the shower, and he was wearing clean jeans and a fresh tee. He eyed her burdened hands and nodded.
"That"s better."
"I won"t stay long. I don"t want to interrupt."
"You"re not interrupting. Paula"s gone. She had to get to work anyway."
"Oh."
Sadie had never been inside Zack"s apartment before. It could only have been described as functional and basic. It was spa.r.s.ely furnished in neutral colors. Most of the walls were bare, but at least it was tidy and not a dump.
He didn"t seem to know what to do with the flowers, but he eventually found a large jar under his sink, filled it with water, and stuffed them in.
"Those are for Paula," Sadie explained. "For interrupting your, um, date."
"I"ll let her know."
Sadie sat down at the kitchen table.
"You know, you"ve worked for me for a year now and I never even knew you had a girlfriend."
He regarded her with a cool look that offered nothing.
"Not that it"s any of my business," she quickly added. "I"m just surprised, that"s all." She cleared her throat. "Look, I"m sorry about how I acted last night. I don"t blame you for being ticked off. I promise it will never, ever happen again."
"What won"t?" he asked, joining her at the table. "Talking? Having a beer together?"
She wrapped her fingers around her coffee.
"No, I don"t mean that. I just mean I won"t bring up your past...you know, stuff..." She floundered, felt herself redden, and got the distinct impression he was enjoying her discomfort.
Zack opened his hands palms up.
"Guess all"s fair in love and work. I brought up your brother and you just fought back. Rougher than I would"ve liked, sure, but I probably should"ve kept my mouth shut."
"I was way out of line."
"Yeah, but I kinda like that about you." He winked.
"You liked me making fun of your addiction?"
"No, I liked you reacting. Showing a little bite about something besides the ghosts you talk to was kind of nice."
He flipped open the box of donuts and grabbed one for himself, then offered them to her.
"I couldn"t. I just ate an obscene amount of pancakes."
"You could use some more flesh on your bones. If a man got too close he"d cut himself."
Sadie rankled at his remark but managed to hold back a scathing retort.
Zack placed a donut on a napkin and slid it in front of her.
"Eat."
"What, now you"re my mother?"
"Trust me, my thoughts about you being in my apartment aren"t maternal."
Rolling her eyes, she picked up the donut and took a bite.
"So we"re okay?" she asked.
"Yeah. We"re good."
"You"re still working for me?"
"I haven"t had any better offers today."
"Great. And it won"t be weird between us, right?"
"Sadie, it"s always been weird." He bit into his donut and washed it down with coffee.
She didn"t quite understand if he meant the cleaning of death scenes or the spirit stuff, but she figured it really didn"t matter.
"You take on the ugliest job in the world to save families from being traumatized twice," Zack said. "Plus, you hired me when I couldn"t get a job cleaning toilets."
"You"re cleaning worse stuff now," she joked.
"Yeah, but you never once accused me of being the one to steal the diamond brooch and let you take the fall for it."
She looked stunned.
"Why would I have done that?"
"Because I was the only one besides you and that Kent Lasko creep who had access to the jewelry. Not to mention the fact that you know some of my history before I went into rehab and it isn"t pretty. Still, you never once pointed a finger at me."