"Because I knew you"d never do a thing like that." She finished off her donut and licked the icing from her fingers.
He nodded quietly and for a second his eyes were tender.
Then his guard went back up and he joked, "I could sure live without all that ghost s.h.i.t, but I"m not going anywhere. For now."
She was glad. More than glad.
"Oh, and I met with Jackie," Zack added. "I think she"ll be great. Seems to have her head on straight and all that. She"s gone back to Texas to get the rest of her stuff but promises to be ready to start in a couple days."
"Thanks for checking her out."
Sadie"s phone rang. It was Dawn. She wanted to talk, so they arranged to meet at Sadie"s house.
"I"ve got to go. Family stuff," Sadie said and gave him the brief rundown on Noel"s late-night visit and Dawn"s cheating.
He whistled. "Sounds like you"ve had an interesting day already, and it"s hardly noon."
"I haven"t had any job calls. Maybe we"ll get a couple days off."
She got to her feet and stuck out her hand.
"I"m glad we"re okay."
"Yeah, so am I," he said, his voice rough as he grabbed her hand softly in his.
Off Sadie went from putting out one fire to watching another slow burn. She"d never seen her sister looking so exhausted.
"So you ended it?" Sadie asked. "Just because you got cold feet and had a fling? Don"t you think that"s a little drastic?" She felt sorry for Noel.
"He wanted a guarantee that I wouldn"t see John again."
"You"re kidding. He actually expected his fiancee to stop seeing other guys?"
"Cut the sarcasm. I don"t think I can stop seeing John any more than I can stop breathing."
"Cut the drama queen act."
"I"m serious. I"ve never felt like this before with anyone. Even Noel."
"Are you sure you"re not just confusing l.u.s.t with a bad case of cold feet?"
"But what if it"s love?" Dawn shook her head slowly from side to side. "What if it"s the real deal? I won"t know unless I take the time to find out."
"And you expected Noel to be okay with that?"
"I guess I was hoping for a little s.p.a.ce. Some time to work through things. With Noel it was all or nothing and the decision had to be now." Her voice broke. "He moved out, Sadie. He wouldn"t even give me a chance to really say how sorry I am. He"s staying with a friend and he told me not to even call."
"I"m sorry."
"No you"re not. You never liked Noel anyway," Dawn said with sudden fury.
"That"s not true."
"Oh come on. Whenever he came around you"d wrinkle up your face like you were disgusted by his presence."
"To tell you the truth, my problem was about the fact that Noel looks so much like Brian. I"ve dealt with that now."
Dawn"s jaw dropped. "Wait a second-Noel doesn"t look a thing like Brian. Well, besides the blond hair. Oh and maybe the nose. I guess they"re pretty much the same height too.... Oh my G.o.d! you don"t think I subconsciously chose Noel because of Brian?"
"Yes. No. Oh, I don"t know." Sadie threw up her hands. "Like I said, this was my problem and I"ve dealt with it."
"I should tell Noel. Even if there"s a chance it"s true, he has a right to know that maybe all along I-"
"That you chose him to stand in for your dead brother? Nice. Why stop there? Maybe you can also tell him he was bad in bed. You know, kick him while he"s down."
"Maybe you"re right."
"I am."
Dawn narrowed her eyes and looked seriously at Sadie.
"You seem awfully sure of yourself today. How are you?" Dawn tapped her chest. "In here."
Sadie knew Dawn was referring to the grief over Brian"s suicide.
"Better." Sadie exhaled like she"d been holding her breath for five years. "At least I will be until you tell Mom and Dad the engagement is off."
Dawn cringed. "Please say you"ll come with me when I tell them."
Sadie tried to back out, but the truth was, going with Dawn would take her mind off of her own troubles. They stopped at the corner store on their way to visit their parents. Sadie snagged chocolate bars for the two of them for the drive and some low-fat soy ice cream for the parents to help soften the blow.
"I don"t think we really need to bring food with us," Dawn said.
"Trust me, I"m getting good at this sort of thing. Treats help."
They"d phoned ahead and found out that Dad"s tee-off time wasn"t for a couple hours and Mom had a neighbor over but the woman would soon be leaving. They encouraged the girls to come on by for a visit.
Mom greeted them at the door, and while she hugged Sadie she hastily whispered in her ear, "My neighbor thinks you run a cleaning company for Seattle"s elite. It"s easier than explaining your real job."
Sadie offered her mom a pained look, but in light of the bomb Dawn was about to drop, she let the slight pa.s.s without comment. Mom led the way into the kitchen past Dad, who was watching golf on the TV in the living room. He offered them a limp wave as they walked by-or it could have been a shooing motion that meant don"t pause in front of the television.
Marilyn from next door was thrilled to meet Mom"s girls and stayed longer because of it. Making small talk was just about killing Sadie, but finally Marilyn looked at her watch and announced she really had to go.
As she got up to leave, she said to Sadie, "I understand your business is really taking off. Your mom tells me you"re a real entrepreneur. I"m curious, does your service clean for any Seattle millionaires I"ve heard of?"
"We pretty much sc.r.a.pe up after everyone eventually," Sadie replied.
Mom quickly ushered her friend out the door, sending Sadie an angry glare from behind Marilyn"s back as they went.
"For heaven"s sake, Sadie, you don"t need to have such an att.i.tude," her mother complained once she was sure Marilyn was out of earshot. "It"s not like I could actually tell people what you really do."
Sadie laughed. "Why not, Mom? Do you think none of them will ever die?"
"Hopefully when they do it"ll be with some dignity and they won"t need your services." She sniffed.
"I give up." Sadie sighed and looked over at her sister. "Dawn has something to tell you. I"m just here for moral support."
Mom"s eyes got huge. "Oh my G.o.d, you"re sick, aren"t you? Do you have cancer?" She screamed toward the living room. "Murray, come here, something"s wrong. I think Dawn has cancer!"
"What? No! I don"t have cancer," shouted Dawn.
Sadie snickered and leaned over to whisper in her sister"s ear, "Go with it. If you tell them you"re sick, they"ll go easier on you."
Dad came into the kitchen and looked at his women.
"What"s all the screaming about?"
"Sit down. Dawn has something important to tell us," Mom said and she clasped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my G.o.d, you"re pregnant!"
"No!" Dawn took a deep breath and blurted, "Noel and I broke up." Then for clarification or conscience-easing she added, "I was the one who ended it."
Dad nodded. "Okay. As long as you"re happy." He got up to leave, but Mom shot him the original Novak death glare, so he sat his a.s.s back down.
"Why did you break up? He seemed like such a nice boy," Mom whined.
"He"s thirty-something years old, Mom. Hardly a boy," Sadie said.
In a big rush Dawn blurted, "I"ve met someone else. His name"s John. I might be in love."
Mom looked like she"d been slapped. You could"ve heard a pin drop. Then she began to sob, huge crocodile tears leaking from her eyes.
"It could be worse," Sadie said. "She could have cancer."
"That"s not funny," Mom snarled, and she began to cry in earnest. "We were going to have such a beautiful wedding!" she wailed.
Dawn rushed to comfort her while Sadie and Dad just sat there looking uncomfortable. Sadie got up and got everyone some of the soy ice cream she"d brought.
Dad ate one spoonful and pushed it away.
"It tastes like melted Styrofoam. Put some whipped cream and chocolate sauce on it and maybe it"ll be okay."
Sadie ignored him. When it looked like Mom"s tears would never end, she said loudly, "Did Dawn mention that John"s a doctor?"
Mom grabbed a napkin and dabbed a little at her eyes. "Really?"
Dawn nodded.
"Will he pay for half the wedding?" Dad asked.
"We"ve just started dating," Dawn said. "But when, or if, the time comes then, yes, I"m sure he wouldn"t mind paying for half."
"I"m good," Dad announced. He got up and walked back into the living room to resume his position in front of the television.
For Sadie and Dawn it wasn"t that easy. It took a promise of lunch the following week and a promise of an outlet mall shopping venture to finally extricate themselves from their mother"s vortex.
Once back in Dawn"s car, Sadie sank into the pa.s.senger seat and let out a low whistle.
"All things considered, that went better than I thought it would."
Dawn agreed, and on the return trip Sadie listened while her sister went on about her new job. Sadie peppered her with questions about the so-called new love of her life, but she didn"t offer any digs. If she a.n.a.lyzed it she"d have to admit that she was glad-and, yes, possibly jealous-to see the sparkle in Dawn"s eyes.
"By the way, did you know that Zack has a girlfriend?" Sadie asked casually. She took a long drink from the water bottle she"d snagged from her parents" fridge.
"I don"t know about a girlfriend, but I know he occasionally dates a woman named Paula."
"How come you know this and I"m in the dark?"
"Noel and I ran into them one time at a restaurant and Zack introduced us." She looked pointedly at Sadie. "Unlike you, the man has a life."
Sadie thought about that for a minute and decided to change the subject.
"You know, I just thought of a big drawback about canceling your engagement," Sadie said.
"What"s that?" Dawn pulled up to the curb in front of Sadie"s house.
"Once you and Noel moved in together, Mom stopped asking me when I planned on settling down with a good man and making babies. Now it"s just a matter of time before I have to start screening my calls again."
Dawn laughed, but Sadie wasn"t joking.
"Seriously, Dawn, I sat up with your crying ex-fiance last night and stood by your side while you dropped the bomb on Mom and Dad today. You owe me."
"Fine. If Mom starts in on you about finding a husband and popping out babies, I"ll tell her to lay off."
"And?"
"And maybe I"d hint that I"m thinking about kids."
"Deal." Sadie leaned in and embraced her sister in a strong hug.
"Seriously, though," Dawn began. "You could do worse than to hook up with a nice guy. h.e.l.l, you don"t even go anywhere to meet men. Live ones, that is."
"Not true. I had a dinner date with a man just last week." Sadie opened the car door and climbed out.
"Wait a second. You can"t just leave me hanging here," Dawn called. "Tell me about this guy."
"There"s not a lot to tell. He turned out to be a jerk." As Sadie said it she couldn"t help but think of Grant and how much he loved Trudy. "I think all the good ones are dead, married, or both."
Sadie closed the car door, ending any further questions. The clouds had gathered in a tight knot of gray, and fat drops began to plop onto her head as she dug out her keys and jogged up to the front door.