Daniel swirled the liquid in his gla.s.s. "When?"
Leo mopped his brow. "When the two of you would leave, Drew would come back later asking for Willie Wong."
Daniel frowned. "Drew would come back?"
"Yeah, and I"d tell him that Willie wasn"t allowed in here and he"d get all nervous and jittery. I tried to call you one time and he got real upset saying that you were sleeping and he was grown and could do whatever he wanted. I saw him several times out back talking to Willie. He"d give Willie money and Willie"d give him something in a baggie."
"Why did you never mention any of this to me?"
"You"re a cop and I wasn"t about to tell tales out of school. I just didn"t want Willie in my place."
"He was selling drugs, dammit. You should have contacted the police."
"I have," Leo shot back, "and Willie"s out a month or so later doing the same thing and threatening me to keep my nose out of his business. I have a family and I wasn"t about to jeopardize them. If the police can"t do anything with Willie, what am I supposed to do?"
The swinging door of justice. He was well acquainted with that system-he"d spent a lot of his life fighting it. Sometimes he won and got people like Rudy Boyd, other times he felt was a waste of his time.
He swallowed back the rest of the scotch. "I don"t have an answer for you, Leo. I work narcotics and yet I had a brother who I didn"t even know was still on drugs. I kept my eyes closed. It was easier that way." He stood and laid some bills on the counter.
"Mr. Garrett."
Daniel looked up.
"Maybe I shouldn"t say anything else, but when Drew came in with you he was laughing, happy and silly-childlike. Later he was sullen, angry and demanding. It was almost like he was two people."
"It was the drugs, they do that to a person. He just needed a fix and he"d do anything to get it." Even deceive his brother. Finally he could admit that.
He left the bar and strolled to the water, walking along its edge. Waves lapped at his feet and the mist sprayed his face, but he kept walking. The darkness shrouded him in his own thoughts and they beat at him as heavily as the waves-repet.i.tive, tedious thoughts that he had to face.
He sank onto some rocks and stared across the wide, black expanse of water. It moved, rocked and soothed until he heard Sarah"s words. Think of Drew"s responses. He remembered when he"d visited Drew in college and caught him smoking pot. Daniel had flushed it down the toilet and told him if he ever caught him doing that again, he"d kick his b.u.t.t. That was harsh of him, but he"d been angry at Drew for following along with the college crowd. Drew had promised he wouldn"t do it again-that it was the first time and he was experimenting. Drew was lying. Daniel could see that now. Daniel had been eager to believe him and Drew had been eager to have him believe him. The deceit started then.
So many times he"d intervened with their parents, at Drew"s pleadings, to not pressure him and to give him time to get his grades up. All the time Drew had been working him, playing him, using him. When Drew accidentally overdosed, Daniel had intervened again when Muriel wanted Drew to go to a clinic in Philadelphia for rehab. Drew wanted to stay in Dallas and Daniel had helped to make his parents see that Drew would be better off at home. So he could get drugs. From Rudy Boyd.
Daniel drew the salt air into his lungs feeling it burn like bad whiskey.
When Daniel had arrested Boyd, Drew kept saying that Daniel got the bad guy. He"d always wanted Daniel to get the bad guy. That"s the way he wanted Daniel to think and it was exactly the way Daniel had thought. He was getting the bad guys for his little brother. But the brother was a master at deception.
All of Drew"s responses had been false. That"s what Sarah wanted me to see. There was nothing Daniel could have done to change that. There was nothing I could have done. He couldn"t have saved Drew because Drew hadn"t wanted to be saved.
You can"t help everybody. He could hear her words now and he believed them. The spray from a crashing wave drenched him and he felt the coolness of the water as the wind whipped around him. He also felt a cleansing of the demons, the blame and the guilt. All that turmoil was gone. There was nothing he could have done.
He stood and for the first time in months he felt his feet touch solid ground. He was anch.o.r.ed; he could think clearly. Through that clarity he knew what he wanted.
He strolled down the beach heading for a future he now believed he deserved.
I"m coming home, Sarah.
SARAH STUFFED PAPERS in her briefcase, eager to leave the office early. She was having dinner with Muriel and Dan and she wanted time to go home and shower and change. Muriel was trying a new recipe and she wanted Sarah"s opinion. When Muriel had called, Sarah could hear Dan in the background joking, "Bring hamburgers. We might need "em."
Sarah knew that they wouldn"t. Muriel was a very good cook and she enjoyed it. She ate at least one meal a week with them and with Gran and with Celia. The tension between them had eased somewhat. Sarah now insisted on having dinner together with the two ladies in her town house. She didn"t know why she hadn"t thought of it before. Being a guest in her home, they both behaved beautifully. They were actually talking civilly to each other, sharing memories from their girlhood, even sharing memories of John Welch. They would never be best friends again, but they were getting along for Sarah"s sake. Sarah couldn"t have loved them more. Her evenings were full and she was glad of that. She didn"t want to be alone to think about Daniel.
Her intercom buzzed and she grimaced. Not a problem, please, she thought. She had to leave to make it on time. She pushed the b.u.t.ton.
"Mr. Garrett wants to see you," Wendy said.
Sarah frowned. What was Dan doing here? She was expected at their house in a little over an hour. Something had to be wrong. Maybe they"d heard from Daniel.
"Send him in," she replied, her heart hammering.
In her agitation, she knocked a pen on the floor and bent to retrieve it. She heard the door open. "Is something wrong? Did you hear..."
The words died in her throat as she straightened and caught sight of the man standing in the doorway. His dark hair was past his shoulders and he had a full beard with gray highlights. He looked vaguely like Dan, but it wasn"t Dan. It was Daniel!
"Are you still waiting?" he asked in a husky voice.
She flew around her desk and into his arms. He enveloped her in a tight bear hug. He kissed her hair, her forehead, her cheek, then her lips. Her arms crept around his neck as she kissed him with all the love she had for him. The kiss went on and on as each took what they needed to ease the pain of separation.
"Yes, yes, oh, Daniel," she finally breathed against his lips. "You"re back. You"re back. You"re back." Her hands stroked his face, his hair, almost in reverence.
"Yes," he whispered, cupping her face. "I"m back-really back."
She stared into his eyes and saw that he was, all that pain had disappeared, leaving a lingering sadness.
"I couldn"t help Drew because he didn"t want my help. You told me that, but I couldn"t accept it. Now I can."
"I"m so glad," she said, her heart about to burst with happiness.
"I don"t have a place to stay or know what I"m going to do with my life, but I know I want to be with you."
"You"ll stay with me." She kissed his cheek.
"What about your grandmother?"
"Oh, that"s a long story." She took his hand. "I have my own place now and I"m taking you home to see if I can find you a razor."
He rubbed his beard. "Don"t like the beard, huh?"
She shook her head, her eyes twinkling, and he kissed her again. For several seconds they were lost in each other. She took a much-needed breath. "I have to call your parents first."
He leaned back, his eyes wide. "My parents? Muriel and Dan Garrett?"
"Yes. That"s a long story, too." She picked up the phone.
Daniel watched her as she talked to his mother and she could see he was puzzled. She would explain-much later. As she talked, her eyes never left his face. The worry inside her suddenly dissipated and she experienced a giddy, bubbly feeling. She couldn"t believe how much she loved this special man who"d given her back a vital part of herself-her femininity. He wasn"t getting far from her ever again.
"They"re so excited you"re home," Sarah said as she hung up. "They wanted us to come right over, but understood we wanted to be alone."
"My parents understood?" he asked in disbelief.
She grabbed her purse. "Yes. You"re going to see a big change in them." She went back into his arms. "I promised we"d be there for breakfast." She kissed his lips leisurely, just enjoying the taste and feel of him. "Tonight it"s just you and me."
His arms tightened around her. "I thought about you constantly while I was away. You"re the only thing that kept me sane."
"I love you," she said with an ache in her voice. "And I"m so glad you found your way back to me."
He tucked a red tendril behind her ear. "I love you more than I ever thought possible and I"m never leaving you again. Every woman I saw couldn"t measure up to you."
"Really?" She lifted an eyebrow and couldn"t resist adding, "Not even Yvette?"
"Not even Yvette." He grinned.
She ran her finger along his lower lip. "I need happy memories."
"G.o.d, me, too," he murmured and kissed her deeply.
He rested his face against hers. "Let"s go home."
Sarah closed the door and slipped her arm through Daniel"s. She"d finally found her home, her place to belong. As she already knew, it had nothing to do with a material object. It was all about a feeling-love. Her love, her home was Daniel and would be for the rest of their lives.
EPILOGUE.
One year later.
THE ALARM CLOCK shrilled and Sarah reached to turn it off. Her husband groaned and tightened his arm around her. She nestled into him, feeling content, happy and so very loved. Never again would she have to face heartache and sorrow alone. Never again would the past have the power to control her. Never again would she feel unloved. She had happy memories to share with a man she loved more than anything.
"Is it that time again?" Daniel asked, kissing her shoulder, her arm.
"Yes. We"d better get up and..." Sarah caught her breath as his hand cupped her rounded stomach. "Daniel," she moaned as his tongue stroked her tender b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"Hmm?" He smiled into her eyes.
"You keep doing that and I"ll never get up."
"Sounds like a plan." His smile broadened.
"We have a big day ahead of us."
"Yes." He rested his face on her stomach. "I just want a few minutes with my wife and child."
She ran her fingers through his hair. "You"re going to be a great father." They"d agreed to start a family right away. Still, it had happened sooner than they"d antic.i.p.ated, but they were ecstatic.
"I never thought this would actually happen for me. It wasn"t something I could envision." He placed kisses along her stomach and she closed her eyes, reveling in his touch. "Now I plan to be the best father ever. We"re going to have big Christmases with a real tree and everything. I want this child to grow up in a loving family."
She caressed his neck. "I don"t think there"s any doubt about that. Gran and Celia are excited and your mother has taken up knitting. Every day it"s something new she"s planning for the baby."
He raised his head and stared into her eyes. "She"s going to be a better grandmother than she was a mother."
Sarah nodded. "Yes. She"s not afraid to love anymore."
"All because of you."
"We"ve all been through a great deal and we"ve learned and grown, and all I see in our lives is happiness."
His eyes darkened. "I never knew it was possible to be this happy."
"Me, neither," she admitted. "Until I loved you."
He kissed her deeply and rolled onto her as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. The importance of this day was forgotten in their pa.s.sion for each other.
Later, as they rushed to get dressed, Sarah put on the pearl-and-diamond necklace Daniel had given her on their wedding day and sat for a moment thinking back. A year had made such a difference. Daniel and his parents had forged a new relationship. Together they had decided what to do in Drew"s memory. It had been Daniel"s idea to build Drew"s House, a counseling center for teens to help keep them off drugs. Today was the dedication with city officials and dignitaries.
Daniel had pulled it all together in a short amount of time. His father had sold all of his business interests and devoted his time and money to the project. Daniel had found an old three-story house and started renovations. They"d knocked out walls and made a large recreational room, added bathrooms and installed a basketball court. Sarah was unaware Daniel had known so much about construction or that his father had known a lot more. It"d been a family effort.
Sarah and Muriel had worked on funding, accreditation and getting doctors and nurses to volunteer their time when needed. Karen was glad to be one of those doctors. Although there was some other funding, the majority had been done with Garrett money. Daniel was the director and she was one of the counselors. She would now be working with her husband.
Daniel had resigned from the police department, though he"d agreed to stay on as an advisor to the narcotics squads. He gave talks in schools, he gave seminars for parents, trying to educate the children and their parents about drugs and its effects on a family. Most of his time would now be spent helping other kids and she would be right beside him.
There"d been other changes, too. Brooke was back in college and doing remarkably well. She kept up with counseling and had started dating, which was a big step. Sarah was very proud of her.
Russ and his wife, Cathy, had remarried and Russ helped out at Drew"s House, as did Cathy, who was a nurse. The four of them were now close friends.
Life was full-everything Sarah had ever dreamed it could be. They"d purchased a home for themselves-a rambling house on an acre with plenty of room for a family. She was six months" pregnant and soon their first child would be born. She"d always thought Serena would be the happy one, but she"d been wrong. They"d both found incredibly good men and Sarah now knew what real love was all about.
Five hours later the family gathered at their house. After a meal, Gran, Celia, Muriel and Dan played bridge. Daniel and Ethan sat on the patio. Ethan held his three-month-old son, Ethan James, in his lap. Sarah and Serena strolled arm in arm toward a gazebo Daniel had built. Ja.s.sy was already in it jumping around.
Daniel watched Sarah and Serena. "From this angle, with their backs to us, can you tell which one is your wife?" he asked Ethan.
"Even if I didn"t know what my wife was wearing, yes, she"s the one on the left."
"Isn"t that amazing? They"re identical and I always know which one is Sarah, too."
"Let"s keep it that way, okay?" Ethan grinned, bouncing Jamie on his knee.
"I can"t wait to be a father."
"You don"t have that much longer."
"Daddy, Daddy," Ja.s.sy called, waving from the gazebo.
Ethan waved back. "Get used to hearing that a lot."
"Since we know it"s going to be a boy, Sarah wants to name him Patrick Drew. That was my brother"s name."