In her current condition, Qi Xunyi could do nothing about it, she was being very emotional as she vented out all of her anger, frustration and depression.She needed this.
And it was much better to see her like this, instead of her, who was trying to numb and shut herself out of the reality.
"I am tired…" Qianru kept whispering the same words over and over again. The tiredness that hit her once she admitted her feelings and voiced out her wishes that she had buried deep in her heart, which she thought she would never say it to anyone, especially toward a man who wasn"t her husband.
Qianru"s sobbing gradually decreased as her body no longer shuddered like before, along with that, her eyelids became heavier until she wasn"t able to open her eyes.
Qi Xunyi"s body temperature felt so strange against her body as no men ever hugged her except Xiao Jun, but at the same time Qi Xunyi"s scent somewhat so calming for her.
This way, she felt cherished, the feeling that she yearned.
It took some time for Qianru to finally calm down as her hands around Qi Xunyi"s waist loosened and she felt asleep.
She was mentally exhausted and didn"t even care anymore about anything nor she thought about the consequences if someone found out she became so intimate with a man who wasn"t her husband.
She didn"t even care for her status as a married woman.
All of her concern now was, finally she could get some peace after she voiced out her deepest thought. Qi Xunyi was right, she felt slightly better now.
Only if he was Xiao Jun, he would understand her insecurities, but unfortunately Qi Xunyi wasn"t him and it wasn"t him again who had been there during her tough moment.
What an ironic fact was, in the end of the day, Qianru fell asleep in the arms of another man with more clarity in her mind.
***
Qianru didn"t know how long she had been sleeping, but when she woke up, her groggy mind reminded her immediately about the event last night when she cried heart out while hugging another man.
Though that image was very vivid in her mind, somewhat she didn"t regret it, because she felt better now.
His accompany made her felt better and saw things differently.
She didn"t want to live the same life like before, she had been living there and it was h.e.l.l, in the end the only person who was hurt was her.
All of the things she had done didn"t worth it.
Qianru opened her eyes and closed them again as the light from the sun, which coming through the window, stung her eyes.
It must have been at noon now as the sun was so hot. A faint layer of sweat on Qianru"s forehead made her slightly uncomfortable.
She let out a small grunt when she moved to remove the blanket that wrapped her body, her head slightly dizzy because of the light.
When Qianru thought her eyes had adjusted with the light, she opened them slowly.
Her vision was blurry at first, but when the shape of her surrounding started to form in her eyes, she saw the person that she had been waiting for. The very same person who could make her beat so fast before.
However, at this moment, she felt nothing. Somewhat the feeling had disappeared.
Qianru stared at the man, who was sitting on the chair while propping her head with his fist, deeply. This was the first time her heart didn"t beat for him and it was so weird.
Probably because of the light of the sun was so bright or maybe because Qianru was staring at him and he was a light sleeper, gradually he opened his eyes and looked at the woman on the bed.
Qianru was sitting on the edge of her bed while looking at him, but she felt nothing as if the person before her eyes wasn"t her husband, as if he wasn"t Xiao Jun, the person who she had been in love for more than half of her life.
Both of them stared at each other with indescribably feeling.
"You are awake." Xiao Jun finally said with hoa.r.s.e voice. He was still wearing his traveling cloak, probably he had just returned last night when Qianru was sleeping.
If that was the case, there was a possibility he saw Qi Xunyi carried her from the meadow. Because Qianru was sure, it was him who brought her back or else she would awake still in the same place like last night.
But, instead of worry about that possibility, Qianru felt nothing. She was no longer care about something like that.
This place wasn"t Azura Kingdom and she wasn"t a princess, so whatever happened here wouldn"t hurt Xiao Jun"s reputation.
Wasn"t that the only thing that Xiao Jun asked from her when he asked her to marry him? She could do everything as long as she didn"t damage his reputation.
"You have returned." Qianru stated the fact as she got up from the bed and poured a cup of water for herself to moisten her dry throat.
In the other hand, Xiao Jun was looking at her with dark eyes. This wasn"t the reaction that he wished to see, as if Qianru was treating him coldly.
"I returned last night." Xiao Jun said as he looked at Qianru who was sitting at the chair in front of him. "And I saw you with Qi Xunyi." His voice turned cold though his expression remained calm.
"I was with him last night." Qianru admitted it easily, there was no regret or guilty in her voice. That was the fact and Xiao Jun had seen it with his own eyes, so there was no point to say otherwise and Qianru didn"t have a plan to deny it.
Xiao Jun balled his hand into a fist upon hearing Qianru"s calm statement. "You know that act was not propriate." His voice trembled with anger.