The kiss started softly, but it became rough as Qianru didn"t reciprocate it.It didn"t feel right and Xiao Jun didn"t like this feeling, he grabbed Qianru"s body and force her to stand up from her chair as he hugged her tight.
Still there was no reaction that he wanted from her, he bit down her lips aggressively until he felt the taste of blood.
Qianru didn"t move and let Xiao Jun had his way as he kissed her jawline down to her neck, when Xiao Jun untied her robe and was about to undress her, she spoke emotionlessly.
"The physician said it will be hard for me to get pregnant again." She said.
Xiao Jun stopped his a.s.sault and stared at Qianru with disbelief. His turned dark as he shook his head slowly. "Which physician said that?" He asked in cold tone.
"The one that saved me from blood loss." Qianru replied, she released Xiao Jun"s hand from her body as she tied back her robe. She licked the blood on her lips, because of Xiao Jun"s rough kiss and moved away. "In the future I will not mind if you take a mistress."
When Qianru said that words, there was a piercing pain that stabbed her heart and she smiled. In the end, the thought of it still hurt her. How silly…
Xiao Jun was taken aback by her words while his body moved by its own before he could think what he should do.
Abruptly, Xiao Jun wrapped his arms around her waist and shoulder as he hugged her from back and rested his head on her shoulder.
Qianru stood still and let him trapped her in his embrace.
If it was a month ago, she would be overjoyed with his gesture and felt so blessed with the way he treated her.
However now, there was no significant feeling that she felt. She just stayed there in silent, waiting for a word that Xiao Jun wanted to say or an act that he intended to do.
But the spark that she had felt for more than decades was gone.
It took Xiao Jun a long time to finally say something. "Can you stop being like this?" Xiao jun asked, he buried his face on her shoulder. The same way he always did whenever he felt down, whenever he needed her support. "I didn"t mean to leave you." His voice was like a whisper.
Qianru sighed a deep breath before she said. "If you really mean to stay, you wouldn"t leave me." She lowered her gaze and looked at Xiao Jun"s arms around her body.
The arms that she wanted to be embraced with, but now she wasn"t really sure if she wanted to stay near him.
"You left me to defend myself when the first time we arrived in Rockstone Kingdom, you left me by myself when there was an attempt to kidnap me, you left me alone during the first two years of marriage to be talked to by other people inside the mansion because I couldn"t keep you stay with me, you left me at the night when we engaged and gave the opportunity to your enemy to destroy me…" Qianru recited every disappointed moment that she had been through while Xiao Jun listened to all of them in silence.
He felt something stuck in his throat and pressed hard against his chest caused him for having hard time to breath.
"You left me because of your plan to take down your uncle"s reign, your political problem or to save Riana…" Qianru bit her tongue when she mentioned Riana"s name, she didn"t like to say her name and she felt bad because of it.
Riana had never done something bad toward her, but her existence had caused her to feel so miserably. However now, she didn"t want to feel like that anymore, she didn"t want to tolerate his feeling for another woman anymore as she had feeling too, she had to respect that.
"You have never stayed for me. You left me because of those reasons, but you never left all of that matters for me. Not even at the moment I was pregnant with our child, you are still very eager to leave." Qianru caressed Xiao Jun"s hand around her waist as she murmured. "I am so tired Jun and I had had enough. Now you can do whatever you want, but I will not be waiting for you any longer."
Xiao Jun wasn"t able to describe his feeling right now, her calm words were suffocating him. This feeling resemblance to the moment when his parents were murdered and he was forcefully abdicated from his right birth as the crown prince.
The moment when he lost everything. The moment when he had to face everything by his own, not knowing who he could trust or who was his real enemies.
But, even at that moment, one thing he knew for sure, he could trust the woman in his embrace now. Thus, it was her the only person who he let to accompany him during the lowest point of his life.
Qianru was the only person that he could trust, he always felt comfortable only with her presence, but probably because of that thought also, he didn"t treasure her.
Something that he just realized it now… and it was too late.
Xiao Jun didn"t have something to say to answer her statement, it was like a final verdict in his ears. Never in million life he would have thought that Qianru would give up on him.
He was aware with his affection toward him, but didn"t think about it seriously. After he wedded her, he was too busy with his own matter and neglected his wife.
Even so, Qianru had never said a single complain, until he was indulged with her tolerance.
He had belittled her feeling for him and now he regretted it.
"Jun, you hurt me until I couldn"t feel it anymore." A tear fell on the back of Xiao Jun"s hand.