The Tiger Within

The water was cool and calming against his hands . He had no idea how he had gotten into this position . Sitting in his chair by the hearth, his wife using the water she had gathered to towel clean his hands . Her gentle touch ma.s.saging his calloused fingers and bruised palms . Damar was in a daze and she could see it .

Melania kept her eyes on her work, her nerves jittery as she used this task to calm herself . He many not have recognized her when he saw her but she had him . For five years she had knelt at the altar of Lady Death"s altar and prayed it was not his time . Little did she know the raven on the altar had always been listening . Now Damar sat before her, his strong hands in hers as she finished wiping away the grime of the trail . Slowly he lowered to the floor at his feet . Her dress pooled around her knees .
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He seemed to stare at her in wonder, his eyes the only representation of how he felt . She unloaded his boots deftly, sliding them off of his feet, the abused skin now resting on the soft cloth of her dress and pillows of her thighs . He moved to pull them off of her but she began washing them as well . There were no words between them as she did these small acts of intimacy . He wanted to break the silence and gently clears his throat, but it sounded more gruff than he intended .

"I am glad to see you are well . " He told her a touch uncertainty . The words sounded weird even from his point of view, but it was true . He was glad to see her appearing unharmed .

"As am I, My Lord . My father chose and trained me well for your family . Please don"t worry about me . " She replied, her voice soft and guarded . "I am pleased you are home safely . There had been word of your injury . " She replied carefully guiding them off the subject of the imperial home . He could see her discomfort in her words . Had she not chosen to marry him? This was the first time that thought had crossed his mind .

"I see . Yes, I was wounded, but I am well enough . " He replied a bit distracted by his own thoughts . She carefully set his feet on the ground and rose to her feet . He stood as well, out of respect but it placed their bodies close . His chest an inch of her face, and her lips within inches of his own as he looked slightly downward at his bride . So small, fragile . How had he not broken her before . It looked like he could without much in the way of effort .

Her breathing quickened looking down, she had not expected to be this close . He was cold and disciplined like a warrior, and yet he set her heart thundering like his war horse into battle . She dare not step back, she was his wife . If he chose to have her, she would obey no matter the cost .

Despite his own reaction to her, he felt her tension . His arms wrapped around her gently, pulling her into a rather stiff embrace . Damar treated her kindly; but he needed this right now . Her nearness, to hold her nothing more but nothing less .

Sweeping his wife into his arms, he considered the bed . However, noticing her tension he sat in his chair and held her close, letting her rest on his lap . She seemed to realize what he needed as her slid behind his neck, pulling his head to rest on her shoulder . Her hand tenderly stroked through his hair, chasing away the nightmares of the battlefield field he knew awaited him . She began to hum, a delicate sound that soothed every nerve in his body .

This was the woman he married… he was shocked and relieved to find her willing to comfort the pain away . Yet… he knew this was wrong… he would have to be a soldier even now . He had to protect her and block them out . She may not have wanted to be his . His Melania may have been forced to his hand, but she would never feel the pain of betrayal again . She was his . His to love and his to protect from a distance if need be . She didn"t deserve to be punished with a man she never wanted, but she could live her life as she wished . All he wanted was her like this, all he asked was she lend herself when the blood and death was all he could feel .

He would respect her, but little did he know the emotions behind her caress and voice . The care and concern was real . Forced to his hand, but happy in his arms . She couldn"t show it… her husband wasn"t one to respect a woman  for weakness . She would be the perfect wife, keep the home in order, bare his children, be the perfect mother . All she asked was for him to chase the loneliness away . . . one embrace at a time . She would be his quiet soldier… and he would be her guardian angel .