Drayton agreed with him. It was, he said, about the worst thing that could possibly have happened.
"She shouldn"t have done that, Nicky. What on earth could have made her do it?"
"Don"t ask me," said Nicky, "what makes her do things."
"It looks," Drayton meditated, "as if she didn"t trust me. I"m afraid she"s dished us. G.o.d knows whether we can ever get it back!"
Desmond had a fit of hysterics when she realized how clever she had been.
Desmond"s baby was born late in November of that year, and it died when it was two weeks old. It was as if she had not wanted it enough to give it life for long outside her body.
For though Desmond had been determined to have a child, and had declared that she had a perfect right to have one if she chose, she did not care for it when it came. And when it died Nicky was sorrier than Desmond.
He had not wanted to be a father to Headley Richards" child. And yet it was the baby and nothing but the baby that had let him in for marrying Desmond. So that, when it died, he felt that somehow things had tricked and sold him. As they had turned out he need not have married Desmond after all.
She herself had pointed out the extreme futility of his behaviour, lest he should miss the peculiar irony of it. For when her fright and the cause of her fright were gone Desmond resented Nicky"s having married her. She didn"t really want anybody to marry her, and n.o.body but Nicky would have dreamed of doing it.
She lay weak and pathetic in her bed for about a fortnight; and for a little while after she was content to lie stretched out among her cushions on the studio floor, while Nicky waited on her. But, when she got well and came downstairs for good, Nicky saw that Desmond"s weakness and pathos had come with the baby and had gone with it. The real Desmond was not weak, she was not pathetic. She was strong and hard and clever with a brutal cleverness. She didn"t care how much he saw. He could see to the bottom of her nature, if he liked, and feel how hard it was. She had no more interest in deceiving him.
She had no more interest in him at all.
She was interested in her painting again. She worked in long fits, after long intervals of idleness. She worked with a hard, pa.s.sionless efficiency. Nicky thought her paintings were hideous and repulsive; but he did not say so. He was not aware of the extent to which Desmond imitated her master, Alfred Orde-Jones. He knew nothing about painting and he had got used to the things. He had got used to Desmond, slouching about the flat, in her sloping, slovenly grace, dressed in her queer square jacket and straight short skirt, showing her long delicate ankles, and her slender feet in their grey stockings and black slippers.
He was used to Desmond when she was lazy; when she sat hunched up on her cushions and smoked one cigarette after another without a word, and watched him sullenly. Her long, slippered feet, thrust out, pointed at him, watching. Her long face watched him between the sleek bands of hair and the big black bosses plaited over her ears.
The beauty of Desmond"s face had gone to sleep again, stilled into hardness by the pa.s.sing of her pa.s.sion. A sort of ugliness was awake there, and it watched him.
In putting weakness and pathos away from her Desmond had parted with two-thirds of her power. Yet the third part still served to hold him, used with knowledge and a cold and competent economy. He resented it, resisted it over and over again; and over and over again it conquered resentment and resistance. It had something to do with her subtle, sloping lines, with her blackness and her sallow whiteness, with the delicate scent and the smoothness of her skin under the sliding hand. He couldn"t touch her without still feeling a sort of pity, a sort of affection.
But she could take and give caresses while she removed her soul from him in stubborn rancour.
He couldn"t understand that. It amazed him every time. He thought it horrible. For Nicky"s memory was faithful. It still kept the impression of the Desmond he had married, the tender, frightened, helpless Desmond he had thought he loved. The Desmond he remembered reminded him of Veronica.
And Desmond said to herself, "He"s impossible. You can"t make any impression on him. I might as well be married to a Moving Fortress."
Months pa.s.sed. The War Office had not yet given up Nicky"s model of the Moving Fortress. In the first month it was not aware of any letter or of any parcel or of any Mr. Nicholas Harrison. In the second month inquiries would be made and the results communicated to Captain Drayton.
In the third month the War Office knew nothing of the matter referred to by Captain Drayton.
Drayton hadn"t a hope. "We can"t get it back, Nicky," he said.
"I can," said Nicky, "I can get it back out of my head."
All through the winter of nineteen-eleven and the spring of nineteen-twelve they worked at it together. They owned that they were thus getting better results than either of them could have got alone.
There were impossibilities about Nicky"s model that a gunner would have seen at once, and there were faults in Drayton"s plans that an engineer would not have made. Nicky couldn"t draw the plans and Drayton couldn"t build the models. They said it was fifty times better fun to work at it together.
Nicky was happy.
Desmond watched them sombrely. She and Alfred Orde-Jones, the painter, laughed at them behind their backs. She said "How funny they are! Frank wouldn"t hurt a fly and Nicky wouldn"t say "Bo!" to a goose if he thought it would frighten the goose, and yet they"re only happy when they"re inventing some horrible machine that"ll kill thousands of people who never did them any harm." He said, "That"s because they haven"t any imagination."
Nicky got up early and went to bed late to work at the Moving Fortress.
The time between had to be given to the Works. The Company had paid him fairly well for all his patents in the hope of getting more of his ideas, and when they found that no ideas were forthcoming they took it out of him in labour. He was too busy and too happy to notice what Desmond was doing.
One day Vera said to him, "Nicky, do you know that Desmond is going about a good deal with Alfred Orde-Jones?"
"Is she? Is there any reason why she shouldn"t?"
"Not unless you call Orde-Jones a reason."
"You mean I"ve got to stop it? How can I?"
"You can"t. Nothing can stop Desmond."
"What do you think I ought to do about it?"
"Nothing. She goes about with scores of people. It doesn"t follow that there"s anything in it."
"Oh, Lord, I should hope not! That beastly bounder. What _could_ there be in it?"
"He"s a clever painter, Nicky. So"s Desmond. There"s that in it."
"I"ve hardly a right to object to that, have I? It"s not as if I were a clever painter myself."
But as he walked home between the white-walled gardens of St. John"s Wood, and through Regent"s Park and Baker Street, and down the north side of Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens, he worried the thing to shreds.
There couldn"t be anything in it.
He could see Alfred Orde-Jones--the raking swagger of the tall lean body in the loose trousers, the slouch hat and the flowing tie. He could see his flowing black hair and his haggard, eccentric face with its seven fantastic accents, the black eyebrows, the black moustache, the high, close-clipped side whiskers, the two forks of the black beard.
There couldn"t be anything in it.
Orde-Jones"s mouth was full of rotten teeth.
And yet he never came home rather later than usual without saying to himself, "Supposing I was to find him there with her?"
He left off coming home late so that he shouldn"t have to ask himself that question.
He wondered what--if it really did happen--he would do. He wondered what other men did. It never occurred to him that at twenty-two he was young to be considering this problem.
He rehea.r.s.ed scenes that were only less fantastic than Orde-Jones"s face and figure, or that owed their element of fantasy to Orde-Jones"s face and figure. He saw himself a.s.saulting Orde-Jones with violence, dragging him out of Desmond"s studio, and throwing him downstairs. He wondered what shapes that body and those legs and arms would take when they got to the bottom. Perhaps they wouldn"t get to the bottom all at once. He would hang on to the banisters. He saw himself simply opening the door of the studio and ordering Orde-Jones to walk out of it. Really, there would be nothing else for him to do but to walk out, and he would look an awful a.s.s doing it. He saw himself standing in the room and looking at them, and saying, "I"ve no intention of interrupting you." Perhaps Desmond would answer, "You"re not interrupting us. We"ve finished all we had to say." And _he_ would walk out and leave them there.
Not caring.
He wondered if _he_ would look an awful a.s.s doing it.