The True Woman.
by Justin D. Fulton.
PREFACE.
This book grew. Its history is very brief. The lecture ent.i.tled "Woman _versus_ Ballot," while well received by the majority, has met with a strong opposition from those who do not believe in the position a.s.signed to Woman in the Word of G.o.d. This turned the attention of the author to the scriptural argument more and more, and resulted in producing the impression that the effort to secure the ballot for woman found its origin in infidelity to the Word of G.o.d and in infidelity to woman.
In "Woman as G.o.d made Her" we saw Eve as she was brought to Adam, and familiarized ourselves with the purposes He had in her creation, which were chiefly embodied in the one word "_Helpmeet_." In "Woman as a Tempter" we saw the _ideal_ woman despoiled of her glory, and influencing the world to turn from the worship of the Creator to that of the creature. For ages woman suffered the consequences of sin. In Eve she lost her recognition; through Christ she regained it. The study of the Bible has convinced the writer that the purpose of G.o.d, in creating woman, still lives, and is to find its complete fulfilment under the New Dispensation. We have seen that Christ--the embodiment of all manly properties--turned his face towards and lavished his blessings upon womanly characteristics, such as meekness, purity, love, and humility, and that, because of His influence, woman is invited to take her place in the church on an equality with man, to help on the cause of truth by an ill.u.s.tration of those virtues which received the glory shed upon them by the life of the Son of Man and the Son of G.o.d.
In the work devolving upon mankind, woman has a distinct mission to fulfil. Society owes to her love, honor, and protection. Every right, social and religious, should be guarded. a.s.sociations calculated to secure for her every privilege enjoyed by man, should be formed and supported. Above all else, efforts should be made to lead her to recognize in Christ her Saviour, for Christ in woman is her hope of glory, her joy and strength. Said Florence Nightingale,--
"I would say to all women, Look upon your work, whether it be an accustomed or unaccustomed work, as upon a trust confided to you. This will keep you alike from discouragement and from presumption, from idleness and from overtaxing of yourselves. Where G.o.d leads the way, he has bound himself to help you _to go the way_. I would say to all young ladies who are called to any peculiar vocation, Qualify yourselves for it, as man does for his work. Don"t think you can undertake it otherwise.
"And again, if you are called to do a man"s work, do not exact a woman"s privileges--the privileges of inaccuracy, of weakness, of the muddle-head. Submit yourselves to the rules of business, as men do, by which alone you can make G.o.d"s business succeed. For he has never said that he will give his blessing to sketchy, unfinished work. And I would especially guard young ladies from fancying themselves like Lady Superiors, with an obsequious following of disciples, if they undertake any great work. I would only say, Work, work, in silence at first, in silence for years. It will not be time wasted. And it is very certain that without it you will be no worker--you will not produce one "perfect work," but only a botch, in the service of G.o.d."
In the above spirit, and with a kindred desire, this volume was written. For good or ill, for better or worse, the book is sent forth in the hope that it may recall attention to the Divine IDEAL for Woman, and aid in inducing man, to prize her as the first gift of G.o.d to him, designed "as a helpmeet for him."
WOMAN AS G.o.d MADE HER.
The biography of our first parents, as G.o.d made them, and described them, before sin ruined them, is very brief and truly suggestive. It is as follows:--
"And Jehovah G.o.d created the man in his image; in the image of G.o.d created he him; a male and a female created he them. And G.o.d blessed them; and G.o.d said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. And G.o.d said, Behold, I have given to you every herb scattering seed, which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree scattering seed, to you it shall be given."--Gen. i. 27-30.
"And Jehovah G.o.d formed the man of the dust of the ground, and he breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living soul. And Jehovah G.o.d planted a garden in Eden, on the east, and there he put the man whom he formed, ... to till it and to keep it. And G.o.d commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil thou shalt not eat of it, for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And G.o.d said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make for him a helper, suited to him. And G.o.d caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And of this rib which he took from the man, Jehovah G.o.d formed a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. This shall be called Woman, because from man was she taken.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."--Gen, ii. 7, 8, 15-18, 21-25.
Brief as are these utterances, and familiar as is this language, it is interesting to notice that G.o.d has crowded into them every essential fact concerning the origin of woman, the purpose of her creation, and the sphere marked out for her by the Creator"s hand.
The simple outline of the story is given us, yet how wonderful is the picture! In the first chapter the origin of man is proclaimed, and his work, "to fill earth and subdue it," is placed before him. In the second chapter, the relation of the s.e.xes is given, and the nature of marriage is explained. What arrests the attention most surely is the resemblance that exists between the experience of our first parents and of their descendants, or between Adam and Eve and ourselves. The "It is not good for man to be alone," spoken by G.o.d in Eden, embodies a truth which has lived with the ages, and sets forth an experience felt by every son of Adam. The words "I will make for him a helper suited to him," is man"s authority for the faith, that somewhere on the earth G.o.d has made a helper suited to him, whom he will recognize, and who will return the recognition. For in all true marriages, now as in Eden, the man and woman do not deliberately seek, but are brought to one another. Happy those who afterwards can recognize that the hand which led his Eve to Adam was that of an invisible G.o.d. Man knows that it is not good for him to be alone. Separated from woman"s influence, man is narrow, churlish, brutal. Woman is a helper suited to him. With her help he reaches a loftier stature; for love is the very heart of life, the pivot upon which its whole machinery turns, without which no human existence can be complete, and with which it becomes n.o.ble and self-sacrificing.
Woman"s origin is thus declared:--
"And Jehovah G.o.d caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And of the rib which he took from the man G.o.d formed a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. This shall be called Woman, because from man was she taken. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh."[A]
_Woman was taken out of man_. It is man"s nature to seek to get her back. He feels that a part of _him_ is away from him, until he obtains her. Long years before he sees the woman whom he feels G.o.d designed to be his wife, if he be a Christian, believing that she is on the earth, he prays for her weal.
[Footnote A: Gen. ii. 21-24.]
"_Taken out of man!_" How significant these words! Man, without woman, wants completeness--physically, mentally, and spiritually. First, physically. The fact is noticeable that short men often marry tall women, and tall men marry short women. Nervous men marry women who are opposites to them in temperament. This is not a happen so, for that which so often to the unreflecting mind seems unnatural and absurd, to the thinking soul appears as an evidence of G.o.d"s provident care.
Second, mentally. Man desires in his wife that which he lacks. A bookish man seldom desires a wife devoted to the same branch of literature, unless she works as a helpmeet. In taste and in sentiment there must be harmony without rivalry. They must bring products to the common garner, gathered from varying pursuits and from different fields of thought. In music the same law rules. Man, from his very nature, finds in woman a helper in song. Their voices blend in harmony, and give volume, symphony, and variety to the melody produced. Jenny Lind married her a.s.sistant, because in sympathy they were one. He was essential to her womanly strength, and without her, he was a mere cipher in the musical world. Together they were a power, felt and acknowledged.
A man full of thought and of genius requires for a wife, not only one who can understand his moods and enjoy his creations, but one who is content to take care of the home, and, perhaps, to manage the business affairs; while many a woman of genius and ability links her fortunes with a plain and appreciative husband, who gladly affords her every means in his power to work in her special sphere. When the wife refuses to act thus wifely, because of her talent, the happiness of the home is imperilled, and the children suffer quite as much, comparatively, as they do in those manufacturing neighborhoods where the wife forsakes the home for the shop, and gives up the vocation of woman to do the work which belongs to man. G.o.d made them male and female. He fitted each for separate duties, not for the same duties.
Each fills a sphere when each discharges the duties enjoined upon them by their Creator and by society. Wonderful women there are; few of them care to duplicate their power. They prefer to obtain by marriage that which they have not, and which must be supplied by material from without. Homely people oftentimes find beautiful ones to mate them.
The rugged seeks the weak. The nervous, the lymphatic. Counterpart that which makes itself complete. This tendency to a.s.similate is often carried to extremes, because all naturally love that which they possess, and come to prize highly those who regard it with favor.
Hence, poor men sometimes marry rich wives, and seldom fail to give something in return. The story is familiar of the two foppish young men who were said to have met at a noted hotel or on change, when one accosted the other by the question, "Who did you marry?" "Ah," said he, "I married fifty thousand dollars. I forget her other name."
Such men, however, are exceptions to the rule. There are brainless creatures called men, who will marry a pretty face, though the heart and brain be uncultured, provided there be a.s.sociated with her sufficient of this world"s goods to gratify a mercenary ambition; but the majority, both of men and women, wisely prefer to marry money in a partner rather than money with a partner. The world has a profound contempt for shallow, fussy, empty people, no matter what positions they may occupy.
All sympathize with the rebuke administered to a so-called lady of quality by a Quaker gentleman, who occupied a seat near her in a public coach. She wore an elegant lace shawl, and was dressed to the top of the fashion, but was suffering from the cold. Shivering and shaking, she inquired, "What shall I do to get warm?" "_Thee had better put on another breastpin_," answered old Broadbrim. The rebuke was timely. Woman degrades herself when she surrenders to fashion that which helps the woman, and which aids her in securing the confidence, the friendship, the respect, and admiration of sensible men.
The truth embodied in the words, "This shall be called Woman, because _from man was she taken_" sheds light upon many a mysterious chapter in life, reconciles the union of contraries in accordance with the law of G.o.d, and fills wide realms of life with the radiance of hope, which otherwise would remain mantled in perpetual gloom. If we depended upon those who are like ourselves to sympathize with us, and gird us with strength, we should utterly fail. Oaks cannot lend support to oaks.
The vine can do this for the oak, and the oak can give support to the vine; but an oak cannot give strength to its kindred while fulfilling the functions of its life. The same law rules in the mental world.
Genius seldom applauds genius, working in its own realm. Very likely it loathes it. The tributes paid to labor are given by the soft-handed rather than by the hard-handed sons of toil. This principle lies back of the appreciation, the commendation, and the support rendered by the different cla.s.ses of a community to each other.
The G.o.d-given and Christ-restored thought of equality between the s.e.xes is seen in the household partnership, where the woman looks for a "smart, but kind" husband, the man for a "capable, sweet-tempered"
wife. The man furnishes the house, the woman regulates it. Their relation is one of mutual esteem, mutual dependence. Their talk is of business; their affection shows itself by practical kindness. They know that life goes more smoothly and cheerfully to each for the other"s aid; they are grateful and content. The wife praises her husband as a "good provider;" the husband, in return, compliments her as a capital housekeeper. This relation is good as far as it goes; but the heart of the man or woman is unsatisfied, if to household partnership intellectual companionship be not added.
Men can hire their houses kept. Love cannot be purchased. Soul communion is the gift of G.o.d. It is very often enjoyed on earth. Men engaged in public life, literary men and artists, have often found in their wives companions and confidants in thought, no less than in feeling. And as the intellectual development of woman has spread wider and risen higher, they have, not unfrequently, shared the same employments.
Thirdly, spiritual. The highest grade of marriage union is the spiritual, which may be expressed as a pilgrimage towards a common shrine.
There is something in every man which he feels to be the essential thing about him. This it is which he desires to have loved. Neglect what else you choose, you must not neglect that. It is the spiritual part of man,--the G.o.d-given characteristic which longs for sympathy.
Men feel that this want has been met when they say, "Such a one understands me, knows me, sees me, is in sympathy with me." Such moments are to all of priceless value. Whoever meets this want is a boon from G.o.d. No matter what the complexion, nor how the features seem: soul meets soul. The heart feels a new life. The union is formed. _Call it affinity, or what you will_, they love in one another the future good which they aid one another to unfold. This includes home sympathies and household wisdom. Such fellowship makes of home a joy, and of toil a delight. When first the joy is reached, a foretaste of heaven is enjoyed. "For it is the one rift of heaven which makes all heaven appear possible; the ecstasy of hope and faith, out of which grows the love which is our strongest mortal instinct and intimation of immortality."
Women are as conscious of this feeling as are men. There are times when women meet their counterpart. The nature they long for and seek after with unutterable longing, is before them. Finding it, they recognize their lord, under whose protection they take shelter, and to whose rule they submit, because of love which masters and controls them. The heart cries out for a person--not for things. Spirit desires spirit; soul yearns for soul. It is the genius of woman to be electrical in movement, intuitive in penetration, and spiritual in tendency. She excels not so easily in cla.s.sification or recreation as in an instinctive seizure of causes, and a simple breathing out of what she receives, that has the singleness of life, rather than the selecting and energizing of art. More native is it to her to be the living model of the artist, than to set apart from herself any one form in objective reality. More native to inspire and receive the poem than to create it. In so far as soul is in her completely developed, all soul is the same; but in so far as it is modified in her as woman, it flows, it breathes, it sings, rather than deposits soil, or furnishes work; and that which is especially feminine, flushes in blossom the face of the earth, and pervades, like air and water, all this seeming solid globe, daily renewing and purifying its life. Such is the especial feminine element which man desires as a helper, and which is suited to him, and which compels him to exclaim, "O, my G.o.d, give it to me _for mine_!"
It is said, "A woman will sometimes idealize a very inferior man, until her love for him exalts him into something better than he originally was, and her into little short of an angel; but a man almost invariably drops to the level of the woman he is in love with.
He cannot raise her; but she can almost unlimitedly deteriorate him."
This was true of Adam. Eve, sinning, brought him to her level. Why this should be, Heaven knows; but so it constantly is. We have but to look around us, with ordinary observation, in order to see that a man"s destiny, more than even a woman"s, depends far less upon the good or ill fortune of his wooing than upon the sort of woman with whom he falls in love.
Before a man loves, he is under obligations to himself, to his future, and to the world, to ask himself, Is this woman suited to me? Will she help me to fulfil my mission? Does she supply my want? Can I recognize her as G.o.d"s gift to me? If Yes, then he is right in loving; for
"He either fears his fate too much, Or his deserts are small, Who dares not put it to the touch, And win or lose it all."
A woman, writing of woman, has truly said, "There are but two ways open to any woman. If she loves a man, and he does not love her, to give him up may be a horrible pang and loss; but it cannot be termed a sacrifice: she resigns what she never had. But if he does love her, and she knows it, and if she loves him, she has a right, in spite of the whole world, to hold to him till death do them part. She is bound to marry him, though twenty other women loved him, and broke their hearts in loving him. He is not theirs, but hers; and to have her for his wife is his right and her duty." "And in this world are so many contradictory views of duty and exaggerated notions of light, so many false sacrifices and remunerations, weak even to wickedness, that it is but fair sometimes to uphold the right of love,--love sole, absolute, and paramount,--firmly holding its own, and submitting to nothing and no one, except the laws of G.o.d and righteousness." Well and truthfully spoken. Lift up this principle, and behold how it showers benedictions upon all cla.s.ses and upon all men.
Much is said against amalgamation, as though it were a crime. There is no crime in it or about it. There is much of prejudice, but no crime.
Soul marries soul. If a white man loves the soul of a black woman, there is no law in G.o.d"s code forbidding the union. G.o.d made of one blood all nations of men to dwell on all the face of the earth.
Complexions may differ, owing to climate, or temperament, but the blood is the same. The race has a common Father in G.o.d.
In this intermingling of races, coming to this land from all climes, we perceive the seedling of a glorious hope. The future American is to be the product of this blending of the distinctive features of all the various nations of earth.
Against this result there is an immense amount of prejudice, born of slavery; but in Europe it does not exist, nor is it in fact so universal in this land as many suppose. Many a white man has found his helpmeet in a black woman, and many more will find helpmeets from the same source.
2. "_Woman was taken out of man_." There is significance in the locality from which she was taken. Not from the superior part, that she might think herself superior to man, or endowed with the right to rule him. Her sin consisted in her failing to recognize the position a.s.signed. She was created an a.s.sociate and an equal, and acted independently, and as an adviser. She took advantage of her position as wife, and became an ally of Satan.
She was not taken from an inferior portion of his body, that he might think her inferior to himself, and to be trampled on by him, but out of his side,--from his rib,--that she might appear to be equal to him; and from a part near his heart, and under his arm, to show that she should be affectionately loved by him, and be always under his care and protection.
Wherever man has failed to recognize this truth society has gone back to barbarism, and the very conception of a home has been banished from the mind. In the East man rules woman as lord. She is his slave; and in the Arabic language there is no word meaning "home." Christian civilization lifts woman up, and thrones her in the heart of a _home_.
She was made from "bone and flesh,"--quickened dust,--and so in her make and const.i.tution she is of superior quality and of finer mould.
The Hebrew word translated "made," means _built_. From the rib G.o.d built this woman. How instructive the fact! Woman added to man is the foundation of the home or family. She is built out of man. Man is necessary to her development. A man can continue the work begun by G.o.d. He can build up a woman; and as he builds her up he builds up himself. She is also a builder. She builds up a home, or degrades it.
If woman is honored in a home, she makes it honorable.