There she was. Red flushed cheeks, laughing without a care. Her arms linked with the other students as they bickered about what to eat for lunch. This was my daily routine. Peering at her from my seat on the top floor of the third building. Looking at her made my heart race and my blood pump that much faster. Of course no one knew about this, not even her. It was a secret I kept to myself. I was entirely obsessed.There wasn"t much I didn"t know about her. She had many friends but only kept three, who were also in the same cla.s.s, close to her. Coincidentally, they were the same three that she grew up with so it wasn"t weird that they were the closest to her out of all the others. She has one older sister that is currently in her final year of college. Both her parents have full time jobs, so they often come home late. After school, she mostly spends her time either revising in the library or going out to ice cream parlours with her friends. She usually goes for a vanilla but on some days, especially after exams, she opts for raspberry flavor instead.
Although she"s not aware of it, I"m always watching her. Always observing. She occupies all my attention and focus, so much so that I almost go crazy when she"s not in my sight. I want to hold her, I want to caress her rosy cheeks and take my time embracing her.
It"s been some time now that I"ve been watching her from afar within the shadows. I know all the information I need in order for me to make my move. I"ll slowly approach her so I don"t startle her. I"ll treat her like a shy cat. Little by little I"ll get her used to me, comfortable enough so she can trust me and then I"ll be able to catch her whole.
I"m not popular and I don"t stand out in cla.s.s but neither am I a loner who"s all alone in the corner. I personally made it so that I blend in to the background, a sort of bystander. I have people I talk to, I wouldn"t call them friends as we"re not that close but close enough that I"m able to talk to them on a regular basis without it being weird. I need all of this so I can approach her without looking too intimidating.
Right now is second period, she"s got Chemistry next while I"ve got Math. Although the two cla.s.ses are on different floors, I"ll lie and say that I need to use the bathroom on her floor. I just need to wait behind the corner so I can pretend to b.u.mp into her. My palms are already clamming up, my mouth feels dry and my heart running a thousand beats a minute. I can hear her walking up the stairs, she"s about to barely make it into cla.s.s on time so I know she"s in a rush. I walk out and successfully b.u.mp into her. Her arm came into contact with mine sending shivers down my spine, the warmth already etched into my mind. I look down and see her belongings scattered on the floor.
"I"m so sorry, I should"ve looked were I was going," she said looking fl.u.s.tered while quickly trying to stuff everything back into her bag. I quietly put her eraser out of sight and helped her pick up the rest.
"Not at all, I"m at fault too. I should"ve also been more careful," I replied, barely trying to keep down my excitement of having our first encounter.
"Sorry, I"ve got to hurry to cla.s.s but thank you for your help!" she yelled as she ran down the hallway not giving me any time to reply. Figures, she was already running late to cla.s.s and now adding our minute-long encounter she definitely didn"t have any time to dawdle around but that didn"t matter. I had already achieved my first step. I took out the eraser that I hid from her earlier on. With this, I now have another opportunity to approach her and I knew exactly when and where. I put it into my pocket and hurried back to my own cla.s.s which I too was also late in.
The day dragged on slowly. I wanted it to hurry up. I needed it to hurry up. I contemplated whether I should return the eraser today or tomorrow but I could no longer wait. I wanted her now, how could I refuse when she"s right in front of me at an arms length away. I already knew where she was gonna be after-school so I put the second stage of the plan into motion. Even though I wanted to take my time to savour this, I was quickly losing my mind. I was itching to run out of the cla.s.s and go to her but my old hag of a teacher wouldn"t stop talking. Finally ending her long winded speech, she let us go and I briskly walked out of the cla.s.sroom and downstairs to the one place I knew she would be at on a quiet Thursday afternoon. Before I went in, I took a short detour and bought a drink from the vending machine for her as an "apology" for earlier. I took a deep breath and opened the door to the library in order to commence my plan. There she was in the left corner of the room, a spot I knew was her favourite in the library. I walked over to her side, squeezing the handle of my backpack for rea.s.surance. I was giddy with excitement but I knew that I needed to quickly compose myself. Nothing could jeopardize this, so I needed to be extremely cautious in order for this to work.
I took out the chair opposite to her and put both the eraser and the drink in front of her. She looked at what was placed in front of her. She had yet to notice me but she recognised her eraser and a sigh of relief had escaped from her lips. She glanced at the drink in front of her and then at me. Taking a few seconds to gaze at my face, she finally seemed to remember who I was.
"I wanted to apologise for our accident earlier as well as giving back your eraser which you dropped," I explained. She smiled and put her eraser back into her bag. Picking up the already open can, she took a sip of the drink before she replied.
"Thank you so much for returning my eraser. I was wondering where it had gone but you really saved me. Also thank you for the drink, I don"t know if you know this but this is my favourite drink!" she laughed as she continued to take sips, her cheeks and especially her neck flushing red as time went on. I could hardly contain myself. I also of course knew it was her favourite drink. Milk tea, it was all she ever drank from the vending machines.
"I see that you"re a diligent student," I joked as I looked at the three big textbooks sprawled out on the table.
She blushed, adding even more red to her colour making my heart race even faster. Any more and I might die at this rate. "Of course since I"m third in my cla.s.s," she retorted.
"I"ve seen you around you know. You"re usually looking out the window during lunch right?" she asked. I paused and looked up at her. That"s a first. I didn"t think she had taken notice of me looking at her. Now, how to reply to her was the problem. Does she already know that I was solely focusing on her? If she does know, then does she think I"m a weirdo? A million thoughts were running through my mind at once, my plan slowly crumbling in front of my face.
"Not that I was staring at you or anything!" she said flailing her arms around. "It"s just that I saw you once or twice looking out the window. I always wondered what you were looking at since you were too far away I couldn"t see," she twiddled her thumbs looking down and even more redder as the seconds went past. Could a human physically turn this red I wondered. I was feeling a whole load of feelings but the most prominent one being the thrill and nervousness of this conversation. It was almost like a drug, I was so close to being regarded as a weirdo had the truth been revealed but she herself had given me an opening. An opportunity.
"I don"t really look at anything, just the background," I said nonchalantly. Lying through my teeth. It was no use regretting saying these lies now since this whole relationship was founded on a whole bunch of them but that has nothing to do with me. If it helped me get what I wanted I"d use anything and lie about everything. I felt sorry for other people, I"d almost go as far as to say I"m scared of myself.
She covered her mouth and coughed twice. I smiled.
"Are you alright?" I asked. Now looking at her, her breaths had become shallow and slow.
"Yes I"m fine. I think I"ve got a small cold," she replied.
It was my cue to leave. I stood up and got ready to go.
"You should head home and rest. I"ll see you tomorrow," I left her there without looking back. The smile on my face was so big I had to cover my mouth. I wonder how I look to other people.
I walked the same direction she walked to go home. I knew on the way to her house, she walked past a small dark alleyway. It takes about 30 seconds to walk through and was unavoidable for her on her way home. It was perfect.
About ten minutes had pa.s.sed and right on time there she was. She was swaying and her breaths were deep and shallow. I put on the hat that I had taken from my locker on the way home. I glanced up at her and saw that she was attempting to pick up her bag that she had dropped. After numerous attempts, she had given up on trying to pick up her bag and slumped against the wall. This was it. This was what I was waiting for. Looking around, there was no one in the area. I quietly approached her and stood her up on her feet but to no avail she starting to slump again. That didn"t matter. I only needed one thing.
I leaned her against my body, thankful that I was tall enough and pulled back her hair. Although the sun was setting I could still see how red she was under the yellow tones of the sun. It was exhilarating. My hands were almost shaking but I calmed down. I had to do this quickly before someone noticed.
In the process I was in a frenzy, I almost lost control and by the time I came to everything was over and done with. I could hear a slow dripping sound coming from her. She was still unconscious. The previous red colour now gone from her. I sighed. It was over. Although my chase was short lived because I couldn"t contain myself, nonetheless it was amazing as always.
I took off her messy jumper and left her in her shirt. Now that my ordeal was done, I was back to my calm manner, my boring days had resumed once more. As I thought back to my days in school and how I would now occupy my time, I remembered that I had recently come across a black haired girl who I think is in the year above. I grinned. Perhaps I won"t go back to my boring days yet.
***
I woke up slightly confused. My head pounding from the day before. I looked around me and saw that I was in my bed. I hadn"t changed my clothes as I was still in my uniform but I was missing my jumper. I looked at the time and it was 5 am. An hour and half before school starts once again. I was confused as I remembered leaving the library and hurrying home since I had a cold but I don"t remember how and when I had gotten home. I tied my hair up and went to the bathroom to have a shower. I walked past my mirror and paused. Something had caught my eye. I went back to take another look. On the right side of neck were two medium sized holes. My finger traced the two spots. I pressed lightly and felt a sting. I also looked at my wrist on my left hand to see the same marks there too. Perhaps a large mosquito or insect? I didn"t close my window last night so that was always possible. I didn"t take much notice and continued to get ready for school. Maybe I"ll get to see him again.