"Suddenly he raised himself, clasped me as quick as lightning about the waist, and at the same moment I felt myself suspended in mid-air above the water. I looked at him and laughed.
""Let me tell you." said he, "that it is not by any means a laughing matter. If I let you drop----"
""I shall be drowned--so let me drop."
""No, first you must make a confession to me."
""What confession?"
""Why you do not like me."
"I drew a deep breath. At the same time I felt that the soles of my feet were already being wetted by the surface of the water. He must not let me sink any lower. A delicious feeling of powerlessness came over me.
""I do like you." I said.
""Then why do you give me such disagreeable answers?
""Because I am a disagreeable creature."
""That is certainly plausible," laughed he, and with rapid swing lifted me up like a feather so that I came to stand once more upon the stone.
"There, now sit down, we will talk sensibly." Then he took my hand and continued: "See, I am a simple fellow, have worked hard and given little thought to sharpening my wit. You with your quick little brain always kill me at the very first thrust, so that I have grown positively afraid of talking to you. I know you mean no harm, for it is not in our blood to be ill-natured; but all the same, it is not the proper thing. I am nearly twelve years older than you, and you almost a child yet. Am I right?"
""You are right." said I, dejectedly, wondering privately where my defiance had departed to.
""Then why did you do it?"
""Because I wanted to gain your approval." said I, and drew a deep breath.
"He looked into my eyes amazed.
""Because I wanted to show you that I was not a silly thing, that my head was in its right place, that I----," I stopped short and grew ashamed of myself.
"He chewed his beard and looked meditatively before him.
""Indeed, now," he said, "I was in a fair way to get quite a wrong idea of your character. What a good thing that I followed Martha"s advice!"
""Martha"s?" I exclaimed. "What did she advise you?"
""Take her aside alone some time," she said, "and have it out with her.
Whomever she does not love she hates, and it would pain me if she did not grow to love you."
""Did she say that?" asked I, and tears came into my eyes. "Oh, you good sister, you n.o.ble soul!"
""Yes, she said that and much more besides, in order to explain and vindicate your disposition. And as I love Martha----"
""Do you?" I interrupted him, eager to learn more.
""Yes, very dearly," he replied reflectively, and looked down into the water beneath him.
"My heart beat so violently that I could hardly draw my breath. So he, he took me into his confidence, he made a confederate of me. I could have embraced him there and then, so grateful did I feel towards him.
""And does she know it?" I inquired.
""I daresay she knows it," he remarked; "a thing of that sort cannot be concealed----"
"What--then--you have not--told her?" I stammered.
"He shook his head sadly.
"I was awakened from all my illusions. So the arbours of our garden had never afforded shelter to two lovers, the moon as it shone through the branches had never been the witness of clandestine kisses? And all my romancing had proved itself nothing but idle imagination? But in the midst of my disillusion a deep compa.s.sion seized me for this giant, crouching beside me as helpless as a child. Surely, I vowed to myself, he shall not in vain have put his trust in me!
""Why did you remain silent?" I inquired further.
"He looked somewhat suspiciously at my immature youth, and then began, heaving a deep breath:--
""You see, at that time I was a silly young fellow, and could not pluck up courage to speak; in the years of one"s youth one is already so supremely happy if one can only now and again secure a secret pressure of the hand, that one thinks marriage can have no further bliss to offer. But----you really cannot understand all these things."
""Who knows?" replied I, in my innocence; "I have read a great deal on the subject already."
""The short and the long of it is." he continued, "that I was then nearly as foolish as you are at present. And now, you see, if I speak to her now, every word binds me with iron fetters to all eternity."
""And don"t you wish to bind yourself?" I asked in astonishment.
""I _may_ not," he cried; "I dare not, for I do not know if I can make her happy."
""Well, of course, if you do not know that," said I, drawing up my lips contemptuously, and in my heart I inferred further: "Then he cannot love her either."
"But he started up with sparkling eyes: "Understand me aright, little one." he cried; "if it only depended on me, I would ask nothing better all my life, than to carry her in my arms, lest her foot might dash against a stone. But--oh, this misery--this misery!" And he tore his hair, so that I grew quite frightened of him. Never should I have thought it possible for this quiet, reflective man to behave so pa.s.sionately.
""Confide in me, Robert," said I, placing my hand on his shoulder; "I am only a foolish girl, but it will unburden your heart."
""I cannot," he groaned, "I cannot!"
""Why not?"
""Because it would be humiliating--for you too. Only this much I will tell you: Martha is a delicate, tender, sensitive creature; she would never be able to hold her own against the flood of cares and misfortune which must pour down upon her there. She would be broken like a weak blade of corn at the first onset of the storm. And what good would it be, if a few years after our wedding I had to carry her to her grave?"
"A cold shudder runs through me, when I think how that word of presage came to be so terribly realised; but at that moment there was nothing to warn me. I only felt the ardent desire to give as romantic a turn as possible to this, to my mind, much too prosaic love affair.
Unfortunately there was not much to be done at present. So at least I a.s.sumed a knowing air, and sought in my memory for some of the phrases with which worthy sibyls and father confessors are wont to feed the soul of unhappy lovers.
"And he, this big child, drank in the foolish words of comfort like one dying of thirst.
""But will she have patience?" he asked, and showed signs of becoming disheartened again.
""She will! Depend upon it," I cried, eagerly; "as she has waited so long, she will wait for another year or two. You will see how gladly she will submit."
""And what if even later nothing should come of it?" he objected, "if I should have disappointed her hopes, have played the fool with her heart? No, I will not speak; they may drag my tongue out of my mouth, but I will not speak!"