Screaming, I held my forearm in front of me like I had just discovered it. The flesh, where the vine had entered, rippled and made a bulge that looked like a junkie"s favorite vein. The pain was nauseating. I s.n.a.t.c.hed at the vine, ripped it free. The thorns turned against me like fishhooks.
The pain was so much I fell to my knees, but I had the vine out of me. It squirmed in my hand, and I felt a thorn gouge my palm. I threw the vine into the dark. Then I was up and running for the tent again.
The roses must have been at work for quite some time before I saw Jacobs, because when I broke back into camp yelling, I saw Susan, Ralph, Casey and some others, and already their heads were blooming, skulls cracking away like broken model kits.
Jane Calloway was facing a rose-possessed corpse, and the dead body had its hands on her shoulders, and the vines were jetting out of the corpse, weaving around her like a web, tearing, sliding inside her, breaking off. The proboscis poked into her mouth and extended down her throat, forced her head back. The scream she started came out a gurgle.
I tried to help her, but when I got close, the vines whipped at me and I had to jump back. I looked for something to grab, to hit the d.a.m.n thing with, but there was nothing. When next I looked at Jane, vines were stabbing out of her eyes and her tongue, now nothing more than lava-thick blood, was dripping out of her mouth onto her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which like the rest of her body, were riddled with stabbing vines.
I ran away then. There was nothing I could do for Jane. I saw others embraced by corpse hands and tangles of vines, but now my only thought was Mary. Our tent was to the rear of the campsite, and I ran there as fast as I could.
She was lumbering out of our tent when I arrived. The sound of screams had awakened her. When she saw me running she froze. By the time I got to her, two vine-riddled corpses were coming upon the tent from the left side. Grabbing her hand I half pulled, half dragged her away from there. I got to one of the vehicles and pushed her inside.
I locked the doors just as Jacobs, Susan, Jane, and others appeared at the windshield, leaning over the rocket-nose hood, the feelers around the brain sacks vibrating like streamers in a high wind. Hands slid greasily down the windshield. Vines flopped and scratched and cracked against it like thin bicycle chains.
I got the vehicle started, stomped the accelerator, and the rose-heads went flying. One of them, Jacobs, bounced over the hood and splattered into a spray of flesh, ichor and petals.
I had never driven the vehicle, so my maneuvering was rusty. But it didn"t matter. There wasn"t exactly a traffic rush to worry about.
After an hour or so, I turned to look at Mary. She was staring at me, her eyes like the twin barrels of a double-barreled shotgun. They seemed to say, "More of your doing," and in a way she was right. I drove on.
Daybreak we came to the lighthouse. I don"t know how it survived. One of those quirks. Even the gla.s.s was unbroken. It looked like a great stone finger shooting us the bird.
The vehicle"s tank was near empty, so I a.s.sumed here was as good a place to stop as any. At least there was shelter, something we could fortify. Going on until the vehicle was empty of fuel didn"t make much sense. There wouldn"t be any more fill-ups, and there might not be any more shelter like this.
Mary and I (in our usual silence) unloaded the supplies from the vehicle and put them in the lighthouse. There was enough food, water, chemicals for the chemical toilet, odds and ends, extra clothes, to last us a year. There were also some guns. A Colt .45 revolver, two twelve-gauge shotguns and a .38, and enough sh.e.l.ls to fight a small war.
When everything was unloaded, I found some old furniture downstairs, and using tools from the vehicle, tried to barricade the bottom door and the one at the top of the stairs. When I finished, I thought of a line from a story I had once read, a line that always disturbed me. It went something like, "Now we"re shut in for the night."
Days. Nights. All the same. Shut in with one another, our memories and the fine tattoo.
A few days later I spotted the roses. It was as if they had smelled us out. And maybe they had. From a distance, through the binoculars, they reminded me of old women in bright sun hats.
It took them the rest of the day to reach the lighthouse, and they immediately surrounded it, and when I appeared at the railing they would lift their heads and moan.
And that, Mr. Journal, brings us up to now.
I thought I had written myself out, Mr. Journal. Told the only part of my life story I would ever tell, but now I"m back. You can"t keep a good world destroyer down.
I saw my daughter last night and she"s been dead for years. But I saw her, I did, naked, smiling at me, calling to ride piggyback.
Here"s what happened.
It was cold last night. Must be getting along winter. I had rolled off my pallet onto the cold floor. Maybe that"s what brought me awake. The cold. Or maybe it was just gut instinct.
It had been a particularly wonderful night with the tattoo. The face had been made so clear it seemed to stand out from my back. It had finally become more defined than the mushroom cloud. The needles went in hard and deep, but I"ve had them in me so much now I barely feel the pain. After looking in the mirror at the beauty of the design, I went to bed happy, or as happy as I can get.
During the night the eyes ripped open. The st.i.tches came out and I didn"t know it until I tried to rise from the cold, stone floor and my back puckered against it where the blood had dried.
I pulled myself free and got up. It was dark, but we had a good moonspill that night and I went to the mirror to look. It was bright enough that I could see Rae"s reflection clearly, the color of her face, the color of the cloud. The st.i.tches had fallen away and now the wounds were spread wide, and inside the wounds were eyes. Oh G.o.d, Rae"s blue eyes. Her mouth smiled at me and her teeth were very white.
Oh, I hear you, Mr. Journal. I hear what you"re saying. And I thought of that. My first impression was that I was about six bricks shy a load, gone around the old bend. But I know better now. You see, I lit a candle and held it over my shoulder, and with the candle and the moonlight, I could see even more clearly. It was Rae all right, not just a tattoo.
I looked over at my wife on the bunk, her back to me, as always. She had not moved.
I turned back to the reflection. I could hardly see the outline of myself, just Rae"s face smiling out of that cloud.
"Rae," I whispered, "is that you?"
"Come on, Daddy," said the mouth in the mirror, "that"s a stupid question. Of course, it"s me."
"But ... You"re ... you"re ..."
"Dead?"
"Yes ... Did ... did it hurt much?"
She cackled so loudly the mirror shook. I could feel the hairs on my neck rising. I thought for sure Mary would wake up, but she slept on.
"It was instantaneous, Daddy, and even then, it was the greatest pain imaginable. Let me show you how it hurt."
The candle blew out and I dropped it. I didn"t need it anyway. The mirror grew bright and Rae"s smile went from ear to ear-literally-and the flesh on her bones seemed like crepe paper before a powerful fan, and that fan blew the hair off her head, the skin off her skull and melted those beautiful, blue eyes and those shiny white teeth of hers to a putrescent goo the color and consistency of fresh bird s.h.i.t. Then there was only the skull, and it heaved in half and flew backward into the dark world of the mirror and there was no reflection now, only the hurtling fragments of a life that once was and was now nothing more than swirling cosmic dust.
I closed my eyes and looked away.
"Daddy?"
I opened them, looked over my shoulder into the mirror. There was Rae again, smiling out of my back.
"Darling," I said, "I"m so sorry."
"So are we," she said, and there were faces floating past her in the mirror. Teenagers, children, men and women, babies, little embryos swirling around her head like planets around the sun. I closed my eyes again, but I could not keep them closed. When I opened them the mult.i.tudes of swirling dead, and those who had never had a chance to live, were gone. Only Rae was there.
"Come close to the mirror, Daddy."
I backed up to it. I backed until the hot wounds that were Rae"s eyes touched the cold gla.s.s and the wounds became hotter and hotter and Rae called out, "Ride me piggy, Daddy," and then I felt her weight on my back, not the weight of a six-year-old child or a teenage girl, but a great weight, like the world was on my shoulders and bearing down.
Leaping away from the mirror I went hopping and whooping about the room, same as I used to go in the park. Around and around I went, and as I did, I glanced in the mirror. Astride me was Rae, lithe and naked, her red hair fanning around her as I spun. And when I whirled by the mirror again, I saw that she was six years old. Another spin and there was a skeleton with red hair, one hand held high, the jaws open and yelling, "Ride "em, cowboy."
"How?" I managed, still bucking and leaping, giving Rae the ride of her life. She bent to my ear and I could feel her warm breath. "You want to know how I"m here, Daddy-dear? I"m here because you created me. Once you laid between Mother"s legs and thrust me into existence, the two of you, with all the love there was in you. This time you thrust me into existence with your guilt and Mother"s hate. Her thrusting needles, your arching back. And now I"ve come back for one last ride, Daddy-o. Ride, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d, ride."
All the while I had been spinning, and now as I glimpsed the mirror, I saw wall to wall faces, weaving in, weaving out, like smiling stars, and all those smiles opened wide and words came out in chorus, "Where were you when they dropped The Big One?"
Each time I spun and saw the mirror again, it was a new scene. Great flaming winds scorching across the world, babies turning to fleshy jello, heaps of charred bones, brains boiling out of the heads of men and women like backed up toilets overflowing, The Almighty, Glory Hallelujah, Ours Is Bigger Than Yours Bomb hurtling forward, the mirror going mushroom white, then clear, and me, spinning, Rae pressed tight against my back, melting like b.u.t.ter on a griddle, evaporating into the eye wounds on my back, and finally me alone, collapsing to the floor beneath the weight of the world.
Mary never awoke.
The vines outsmarted me.
A single strand found a crack downstairs somewhere and wound up the steps and slipped beneath the door that led into the tower. Mary"s bunk was not far from the door, and in the night, while I slept and later while I spun in front of the mirror and lay on the floor before it, it made its way to Mary"s bunk, up between her legs, and entered her s.e.x effortlessly.
I suppose I should give the vine credit for doing what I had not been able to do in years, Mr. Journal, and that"s enter Mary. Oh G.o.d, that"s a funny one, Mr. Journal. Real funny. Another little scientist joke. Let"s make that a mad scientist joke, what say? Who but a madman would play with the lives of human beings by constantly trying to build the bigger and better boom machine?
So what of Rae, you ask?
I"ll tell you. She is inside me. My back feels the weight. She twists in my guts like a corkscrew. I went to the mirror a moment ago, and the tattoo no longer looks like it did. The eyes have turned to crusty sores and the entire face looks like a scab. It"s as if the bile that made up my soul, the unthinking, nearsightedness, the guilt that I am, has festered from inside and spoiled the picture with pustule b.u.mps, knots and scabs.
To put it in layman"s terms, Mr. Journal, my back is infected. Infected with what I am. A blind, senseless fool.
The wife?
Ah, the wife. G.o.d, how I loved that woman. I have not really touched her in years, merely felt those wonderful hands on my back as she jabbed the needles home, but I never stopped loving her. It was not a love that glowed anymore, but it was there, though hers for me was long gone and wasted.
This morning when I got up from the floor, the weight of Rae and the world on my back, I saw the vine coming up from beneath the door and stretching over to her. I yelled her name. She did not move. I ran to her and saw it was too late. Before I could put a hand on her, I saw her flesh ripple and b.u.mp up, like a den of mice were nesting under a quilt. The vines were at work. (Out goes the old guts, in goes the new vines.) There was nothing I could do for her.
I made a torch out of a chair leg and an old quilt, set fire to it, burned the vine from between her legs, watched it retreat, smoking, under the door. Then I got a board, nailed it along the bottom, hoping it would keep others out for at least a little while. I got one of the twelve-gauges and loaded it. It"s on the desk beside me, Mr. Journal, but even I know I"ll never use it. It was just something to do, as Jacobs said when he killed and ate the whale. Something to do.
I can hardly write anymore. My back and shoulders hurt so bad. It"s the weight of Rae and the world.
I"ve just come back from the mirror and there is very little left of the tattoo. Some blue and black ink, a touch of red that was Rae"s hair. It looks like an abstract painting now. Collapsed design, running colors. It"s real swollen. I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
What am I going to do, Mr. Journal?
Well, as always, I"m glad you asked that. You see, I"ve thought this out.
I could throw Mary"s body over the railing before it blooms. I could do that. Then I could doctor my back. It might even heal, though I doubt it. Rae wouldn"t let that happen, I can tell you now. And I don"t blame her. I"m on her side. I"m just a walking dead man and have been for years.
I could put the shotgun under my chin and work the trigger with my toe, or maybe push it with the very pen I"m using to create you, Mr. Journal. Wouldn"t that be neat? Blow my brains to the ceiling and sprinkle you with my blood.
But as I said, I loaded the gun because it was something to do. I"d never use it on myself or Mary.
You see, I want Mary. I want her to hold Rae and me one last time like she used to in the park. And she can. There"s a way.
I"ve drawn all the curtains and made curtains out of blankets for those spots where there aren"t any. It"ll be sunup soon and I don"t want that kind of light in here. I"m writing this by candlelight and it gives the entire room a warm glow. I wish I had wine. I want the atmosphere to be just right.
Over on Mary"s bunk she"s starting to twitch. Her neck is swollen where the vines have congested and are writhing toward their favorite morsel, the brain. Pretty soon the rose will bloom (I hope she"s one of the bright yellow ones, yellow was her favorite color and she wore it well) and Mary will come for me.
When she does, I"ll stand with my naked back to her. The vines will whip out and cut me before she reaches me, but I can stand it. I"m used to pain. I"ll pretend the thorns are Mary"s needles. I"ll stand that way until she folds her dead arms around me and her body pushes up against the wound she made in my back, the wound that is our daughter Rae. She"ll hold me so the vines and the proboscis can do their work. And while she holds me, I"ll grab her fine hands and push them against my chest, and it will be we three again, standing against the world, and I"ll close my eyes and delight in her soft, soft hands one last time.
APPLES.
by Ramsey Campbell.
Born in Liverpool on January 4, 1946, Ramsey Campbell may have been bitten by the same bat that nipped Robert Bloch thirty years earlier, inasmuch as Campbell also fell under the spell of H.P. Lovecraft as a teenager. He was 18 when his first book was published by Arkham House-a collection of Lovecraftian stories ent.i.tled The Inhabitant of the Lake & Less Welcome Tenants. Like Bloch, Campbell soon went on to establish his own particular brand of contemporary horror-often utilizing Liverpool settings-and, again like Bloch, often presented from the viewpoint of an unbalanced observer. Campbell"s fiction seems to blend urban paranoia, childhood terrors, and repressed s.e.xual conflicts into an unnerving mixture that is not what the general public wants to confront in a read-it-on-the-train, ma.s.s market horror novel.
Despite this handicap, Campbell"s books have done rather well in recent years. His latest novels include Obsession, Hungry Moon, Incarnate, and The Influence, as well as the collections, Cold Print and Scared Stiff. He is currently working on another novel, tentatively t.i.tled The Dead Hunt. Campbell"s original t.i.tles are often changed upon publication; thus Blind Dark became Hungry Moon, For the Rest of Their Lives became Obsession, The Revelations of Glaaki became Cold Print, while the American edition of To Wake the Dead was ret.i.tled The Parasite. A British collection, supposedly ent.i.tled The Best of Ramsey Campbell, is set for 1987. Considering that Ramsey Campbell has had at least one story in all but one volume of The Year"s Best Horror Stories, one need look no further for stories to fill such a book.
We wanted to be scared on Halloween, but not like that. We never meant anything to happen to Andrew. We only wanted him not to be so useless and show us he could do something he was scared of doing. I know I was scared the night I went to the allotments when Mr. Gray was still alive.
We used to watch him from Colin"s window in the tenements, me and Andrew and Colin and Colin"s little sister, Jill. Sometimes he worked in his allotment until midnight, my mum once said. The big lamps on the paths through the estate made his face look like a big white candle with a long nose that was melting. Jill kept shouting "Mr. Toad" and shutting the window quick, but he never looked up. Only he must have known it was us and that"s why he said we took his apples when kids from the other end of the estate did really.
He took our mums and dads to see how they"d broken his hedge because he"d locked his gate. "If Harry says he didn"t do it, then he didn"t," my dad said and Colin"s, who was a wrestler, said, "If I find out who"s been up to no good they"ll be walking funny for a while." But Andrew"s mum only said, "I just hope you weren"t mixed up in this, Andrew." His dad and mum were like that, they were teachers and tried to make him friends at our school they taught at, boys who didn"t like getting dirty and always had combs and handkerchiefs. So then whenever we were cycling round the paths by the allotments and Mr. Gray saw us he said things like, "There are the children who can"t keep their hands off other people"s property," to anyone who was pa.s.sing. So one night Colin pinched four apples off his tree, and then it was my turn.
I had to wait for a night my mum sent me to the shop. The woman isn"t supposed to sell kids cigarettes, but she does because she knows my mum. I came back past the allotments and when I got to Mr. Gray"s I ducked down behind the hedge.
The lamps that were supposed to stop people being mugged turned everything gray in the allotments and made Mr. Gray"s windows look as if they had metal shutters on. I could hear my heart jumping. I went to where the hedge was low and climbed over.
He"d put broken gla.s.s under the hedge. I managed to land on tiptoe in between the bits of gla.s.s. I hated him then, and I didn"t even bother taking apples from where he mightn"t notice, I just pulled some off and threw them over the hedge for the worms to eat. We wouldn"t have eaten them, all his apples tasted old and bitter. I gave my mum her cigarettes and went up to Colin"s and told Andrew, "Your turn next."
He started hugging himself. "I can"t. My parents might know."
"They said we were stealing, as good as said it," Jill said. "They probably thought you were. My dad said he"d pull their heads off and stick them you-know-where if he thought that"s what they meant about us."
"You"ve got to go," Colin said. "Harry went and he"s not even eleven. Go now if you like before my mum and dad come back from the pub."
Andrew might have thought Colin meant to make him, because he started shaking and saying, "No I won"t," and then there was a stain on the front of his trousers. "Look at the baby weeing himself," Colin and Jill said.
I felt sorry for him. "Maybe he doesn"t feel well. He can go another night."
"I"ll go if he won"t," Jill said.
"You wouldn"t let a girl go, would you?" Colin said to Andrew, but then their mum and dad came back. Andrew ran upstairs and Colin said to Jill, "You really would have gone too, wouldn"t you?"
"I"m still going." She was so cross she went red. "I"m just as brave as you two, braver." And we couldn"t stop her the next night, when her mum was watching Jill"s dad at work being the Hooded Gouger.
I thought she"d be safe. There"d been a storm in the night and the wind could have blown down the apples. But I was scared when I saw how small she looked down there on the path under the lamps, and I"d never noticed how long it took to walk to the allotments, all that way she might have to run back. Her shadow kept disappearing as if something was squashing it and then it jumped in front of her. We couldn"t see in Mr. Gray"s windows for the lamps.
When she squatted down behind Mr. Gray"s hedge, Andrew said, "Looks like she"s been taken short," to try to sound like us, but Colin just glared at him. She threw her coat on the broken gla.s.s, then she got over the hedge and ran to the tree. The branches were too high for her. "Leave it," Colin said, but she couldn"t have heard him, because she started climbing. She was halfway up when Mr. Gray came out of his house.
He"d got a pair of garden shears. He grinned when he saw Jill, because even all that far away we could see his teeth. He ran round to where the hedge was low. He couldn"t really run, it was like a fat old white dog trying, but there wasn"t anywhere else for Jill to climb the hedge. Colin ran out, and I was going to open the window and shout at Mr. Gray when he climbed over the hedge to get Jill.
He was clicking the shears. I could see the blades flash. Andrew wet himself and ran upstairs, and I couldn"t open the window or even move. Jill jumped off the tree and hurt her ankles, and when she tried to get away from him she was nearly as slow as he was. But she ran to the gate and tried to climb it, only it fell over. Mr. Gray ran after her waving the shears when she tried to crawl away, and then he grabbed his chest like they do in films when they"re shot, and fell into the hedge.
Colin ran to Jill and brought her back, and all that time Mr. Gray didn"t move. Jill was shaking but she never cried, only shouted through the window at Mr. Gray. "That"ll teach you," she shouted, even when Colin said, "I think he"s dead." We were glad until we remembered Jill"s coat was down there on the gla.s.s.
I went down though my chest was hurting. Mr. Gray was leaning over the hedge with his hands hanging down as if he was trying to reach the shears that had fallen standing up in the earth. His eyes were open with the lamps in them and looking straight at Jill"s coat. He looked as if he"d gone bad somehow, as if he"d go all out of shape if you poked him. I grabbed Jill"s coat, and just then the hedge creaked and he leaned forward as if he was trying to reach me. I ran away and didn"t look back, because I was sure that even though he was leaning farther his head was up so he could keep watching me.
I didn"t sleep much that night and I don"t think the others did. I kept getting up to see if he"d moved, because I kept thinking he was creeping up on the tenements. He was always still in the hedge, until I fell asleep, and when I looked again he wasn"t there. The ambulance must have taken him away, but I couldn"t get to sleep for thinking I could hear him on the stairs.
Next night my mum and dad were talking about how some woman found him dead in the hedge and the police went into his house. My mum said the police found a whole bedroom full of rotten fruit, and some books in his room about kids. Maybe he didn"t like kids because he was afraid what he might do to them, she said, but that was all she"d say.
Colin and me dared each other to look in his windows and Jill went too. All we could see was rooms with nothing in them now except sunlight making them look dusty. I could smell rotten fruit and I kept thinking Mr. Gray was going to open one of the doors and show us his face gone bad. We went to see how many apples were left on his tree, only we didn"t go in the allotment because when I looked at the house I saw a patch on one of the windows as if someone had wiped it clean to watch us. Jill said it hadn"t been there before we"d gone to the hedge. We stayed away after that, and every night when I looked out of my room the patch was like a white face watching from his window.