Then someone else moved into his house and by the time the clocks went back and it got dark an hour earlier, we"d forgotten about Mr. Gray, at least Colin and Jill and me had. It was nearly Halloween and then a week to Guy Fawkes Night. Colin was going to get some zombie videos to watch on Halloween because his mum and dad would be at the wrestling, but then Andrew"s mum found out. Andrew came and told us he was having a Halloween party instead. "If you don"t come there won"t be anyone," he said.
"All right, we"ll come," Colin said, but Jill said, "Andrew"s just too scared to watch the zombies. I expect they make him think of Mr. Toad. He"s scared of Mr. Toad even now he"s dead."
Andrew got red and stamped his foot. "You wait," he said.
The day before Halloween, I saw him hanging round near Mr. Gray"s allotment when it was getting dark. He turned away when I saw him, pretending he wasn"t there. Later I heard him go upstairs slowly as if he was carrying something, and I nearly ran out to catch him and make him go red.
I watched telly until my mum told me to go to bed three times. Andrew always went to bed as soon as his mum came home from night school. I went to draw my curtains and I saw someone in Mr. Gray"s allotment, bending down under the apple tree as if he was looking for something. He was bending down so far I thought he was digging his face in the earth. When he got up his face looked too white under the lamps, except for his mouth that was messy and black. I pulled the curtains and jumped into bed in case he saw me, but I think he was looking at Andrew"s window.
Next day at school Andrew bought Colin and Jill and me sweets. He must have been making sure we went to his party. "Where"d you get all that money?" Jill wanted to know.
"Mummy gave it to me to buy apples," Andrew said and started looking round as if he was scared someone could hear him.
He wouldn"t walk home past Mr. Gray"s. He didn"t know I wasn"t going very near after what I"d seen in the allotment. He went the long way round behind the tenements. I got worried when I didn"t hear him come in and I went down in case some big kids had done him. He was hiding under the bonfire we"d all built behind the tenements for Guy Fawkes Night. He wouldn"t tell me who he was hiding from. He nearly screamed when I looked in at him in the tunnel he"d made under there.
"Don"t go if you don"t want to," my mum said because I took so long over my tea. "I better had," I said, but I waited until Andrew came to find out if we were ever going, then we all went up together. It wasn"t his party we minded so much as his mum and dad telling us what to do.
The first thing his dad said when we went in was "Wipe your feet," though we hadn"t come from outside. It was only him there, because Andrew"s mum was going to come back soon so he could go to a meeting. Then he started talking in the kind of voice teachers put on just before the holidays to make you forget they"re teachers. "I expect your friends would like a Halloween treat," he said and got some baked potatoes out of the oven, but only Andrew had much. I"d just eaten and, besides, the smell of apples kept getting into the taste of the potatoes and making me feel funny.
There were apples hanging from a rope across the room and floating in a washing-up bowl full of water on some towels on the floor. "If that"s the best your friends can do with my Halloween cuisine I think it"s about time for games," Andrew"s dad said and took our plates away, grousing like a school dinner lady. When he came back, Andrew said, "Please may you tie my hands."
"I don"t know about that, son." But Andrew gave him a handkerchief to tie them with and looked as if he was going to cry, so his dad said, "Hold them out, then."
"No, behind my back."
"I don"t think your mother would permit that." Then he must have seen how Andrew wanted to be brave in front of us, so he made a face and tied them. "I hope your friends have handkerchiefs too," he said.
He tied our hands behind our backs, wrinkling his nose at Jill"s handkerchief, and we let him for Andrew"s sake. "Now the point of the game is to bring down an apple by biting it," he said, as if we couldn"t see why the apples were hanging up. Only I wished he wouldn"t go on about it because talking about them seemed to make the smell stronger.
Jill couldn"t quite reach. When he held her up she kept b.u.mping the apple with her nose and said a bad word when the apple came back and hit her. He put her down then quick and Colin had a go. His mouth was almost as big as one of the apples, and he took a bite first time, then he spat it out on the floor. "What on earth do you think you"re doing? Would you do that at home?" Andrew"s dad shouted, back to being a teacher again, and went to get a dustpan and a mop.
"Where did you get them apples?" Colin said to Andrew. Andrew looked at him to beg him not to ask in front of his dad, and we all knew. I remembered not noticing there weren"t any apples on Mr. Gray"s tree any more. We could see Andrew was trying to show us he wasn"t scared, only he had to wait until his mum or dad was there. When his dad finished clearing up after Colin, Andrew said, "Let"s have duck-apples now."
He knelt down by the bowl of water and leaned his head in. He kept his face in the water so long I thought he was looking at something and his dad went to him in case he couldn"t get up. He pulled his face out spluttering and I went next, though I didn"t like how nervous he looked now.
I wished I hadn"t. The water smelled stale and tasted worse. Whenever I tried to pick up an apple with just my mouth without biting into it, it sank and then bobbed up, and I couldn"t see it properly. I didn"t like not being able to see the bottom of the bowl. I had another go at an apple so I could get away, but Andrew"s dad or someone must have stood over me, because the water got darker and I thought the apple bobbing up was bigger than my head and looking at me. I felt as if someone was holding my head down in the water and I couldn"t breathe. I tried to knock the bowl over and spilled a bit of water on the towels. Andrew"s dad hauled me out of the bowl as if I was a dog. "I think we"ll dispense with the duck-apples," he said, and then the doorbell rang.
"That must be your mother without her keys again," he told Andrew, sounding relieved. "Just don"t touch anything until one of us is here." He went down and we heard the door slam and then someone coming up. It wasn"t him, the footsteps were too slow and loud. I kept tasting the appley water and feeling I was going to be sick. The footsteps took so long I thought I wouldn"t be able to look when they came in. The door opened and Jill screamed, because there was someone wearing a dirty sheet and a skull for a face. "It"s only Mummy," Andrew said, laughing at Jill for being scared. "She said she might dress up."
Just then the doorbell rang again and made us all jump. Andrew"s mum closed the door of the flat as if the bell wasn"t even ringing. "It must be children," Andrew said, looking proud of himself because he was talking for his mother. Jill was mad at him for laughing at her. "I want to duck for apples," she said, even though the smell was stronger and rottener. "I didn"t have a go."
Andrew"s mum nodded and went round making sure our hands were tied properly, then she pushed Jill to the bowl without taking her hands from under the sheet. Jill looked at her to tell her she didn"t care if she wanted to pretend that much, Jill wasn"t scared. The bell rang again for a long time but we all ignored it. Jill bent over the bowl and Andrew"s mum leaned over her. The way she was leaning I thought she was going to hold Jill down, except Jill dodged out of the way. "There"s something in there," she said.
"There"s only apples," Andrew said. "I didn"t think you"d be scared." Jill looked as if she"d have hit him if she"d been able to get her hands from behind her back. "I want to try the apples hanging up again," she said. "I didn"t have a proper go."
She went under the rope and tried to jump high enough to get an apple, and then something tapped on the window. She nearly fell down, and even Colin looked scared. I know I was, because I thought someone had climbed up to the third floor to knock on the window. I thought Mr. Gray had. But Andrew grinned at us because his mum was there and said, "It"s just those children again throwing stones."
His mum picked Jill up and Jill got the apple first time. She bit into it just as more stones. .h.i.t the window, and then we heard Andrew"s dad shouting outside. "It"s me, Andrew. Let me in. Some d.a.m.n fool locked me out when I went down."
Jill made a noise as if she was trying to scream. She"d spat out the apple and goggled at it on the floor. Something was squirming in it. I couldn"t move and Colin couldn"t either, because Andrew"s mum"s hands had come out from under the sheet to hold Jill. Only they were white and dirty, and they didn"t look like any woman"s hands. They didn"t look much like hands at all.
Then both the arms came worming out from under the sheet to hold Jill so she couldn"t move any more than Colin and me could, and the head started shaking to get the mask off. I"d have done anything rather than see underneath, the arms looked melted enough. All we could hear was the rubber mask creaking and something flopping round inside it, and the drip on the carpet from Andrew wetting himself. But suddenly Andrew squeaked, the best he could do for talking. "You leave her alone. She didn"t take your apples, I did. You come and get me."
The mask slipped as if him under the sheet was putting his head on one side, then the arms dropped Jill and reached out for Andrew. Andrew ran to the door and we saw he"d got his hands free. He ran onto the stairs saying, "Come on, you fat old toad, try and catch me."
Him under the sheet went after him and we heard them running down, Andrew"s footsteps and the others that sounded bare and squelchy. Me and Colin ran to Jill when we could move to see if she was all right apart from being sick on the carpet. When I saw she was, I ran down fast so that I wouldn"t think about it, to find Andrew.
I heard his dad shouting at him behind the tenements. "Did you do this? What"s got into you?" Andrew had got matches from somewhere and set light to the bonfire. His dad didn"t see anything else, but I did, a sheet and something jumping about inside it, under all that fire. Andrew must have crawled through the tunnel he"d made but him in the sheet had got stuck. I watched the sheet flopping about when the flames got to it, then it stopped moving when the tunnel caved in on it. "Come upstairs, I want a few words with you," Andrew"s dad said, pulling him by his ear. But when we got in the building he let go and just gaped, because Andrew"s hair had gone dead white.
DEAD WHITE WOMEN.
by William F. Wu.
William F. Wu"s first published short story, "By the Flicker of the One-Eyed Flame," sold in 1975, was adapted and performed on stage by East/West Players of Los Angeles in 1977. His more recent fantasy story, "Wong"s Lost and Found Emporium," was adapted into an episode of the new Twilight Zone television series in 1985. At latest count Wu has sold over twenty pieces of short fiction, appearing in such magazines as Omni, a.n.a.log, Amazing, Twilight Zone Magazine, and Isaac Asimov"s Science Fiction Magazine, in addition to various anthologies. His first novel, MasterPlay, was published this year by Questar, and his second novel, The Cyborg, is set for later this year.
Born in Kansas City, Missouri in 1951, Wu holds a Ph.D. in American Culture from the University of Michigan. After a stay in the Los Angeles area, he has recently moved to Kansas. "Dead White Women" was first published in the Kansas small press magazine, Eldritch Tales. Just when you thought it was safe ...
The magic of the soul was affection and hate, theirs and mine. They liked me and I didn"t hate them. So their deaths were ordained somewhere in the blue-eyed world of silly old tunes and sentimental nonsense.
Death Angel, can you hear me?
Cyn was eighteen, like me, all mush on the inside and soft "n" squishy on the outside. She was less than five feet tall and from a distance she looked like a basketball with two bowling b.a.l.l.s stuck on the front. She had short brown hair. I had known her for years and thought our going out together would be pleasant, but no big deal. On a muggy midwestern summer night, I pulled my daddy"s car up to the front of her family"s house.
Their front yard was mostly bluegra.s.s, with a patch of thick brown zoisia in one corner away from the driveway. The earth smelled damp and fresh; it was no night to go barefoot unless you wanted to feel smashed slugs oozing up between your toes. Cyn was the same consistency, but she held together pretty well.
I stood on the porch under a bright white light. After I knocked, I listened to the footsteps inside and waited while a shadow darkened the little peep-hole in the door. I survived the scrutiny, being a rather scrawny plain-looking slant-eyed kid from the high school who was expected anyway, and Cyn"s mother opened the door.
Cyn"s mother had the same height and build as her daughter, plus a surprisingly cute face that resembled the front of the Roman war galley in "Ben Hur."
"h.e.l.lo, h.e.l.lo, come in. How are you? Cyn will be ready in just a minute. This way, sit down."
"Hi. Okay." I followed her into the living room, walking with my hands in my pockets. The place was small and warm and cozy, with a plush carpet and well-polished wooden lamp tables. The easy chair and the couch were all soft and padded, like Cyn and her mother. I sat down on the couch, grinning fatuously, and looked up at her.
She looked back, grinning just as idiotically, with her hands folded in front of her. "I think it"s just so nice you two are going out. Oh, here"s Cyn"s daddy. Daddy, this is John."
I stood up, as a solid stocky man with a crew cut and a scowl came in from the dining room. He stuck a smokeless pipe between his teeth, faked a smile, and stuck out his hand.
"How do you do, John." He made a faint attempt at sounding hearty.
"Hi," I muttered, trying not to wince as he crushed the bones in my hand and then twisted the wreckage back and forth a few times experimentally. "Uh, fine-thanks."
He promptly lost interest and turned to switch on a big console color tv. With his eyes fixed on the shifting images on the screen, he backed up slowly until he hit the couch and then allowed himself to fall backward onto it. I stuck the remains of my hand back into my pocket.
His wife smiled and shrugged. "Don"t mind him. He used to kill j.a.ps in the Pacific."
"Oh," I said. "Of course."
Cyn came rolling down the hall, smiling nicely. "I know, I know, I"m always late. Shall we go?"
"Guess we better," I said. "Bye."
"Midnight," said Cyn"s mother, poking her daughter"s shoulder with an index finger. The finger sank in up to the first knuckle, like when you check the water for cooking rice.
"I know, I know." Cyn took my arm and we walked across the lawn.
"We"re still in time for the movie," I said.
"Ugh, look at the slugs," said Cyn. "Oh, yuck."
We went to see "Walk Like a Dragon," starring Jack Lord. James Shigeta and Mobu McCarthy played Chinese immigrants in the Old West, like my ancestors had been. Shigeta wins the girl but loses the gunfight. Anyway, it was the first time I"d seen a Chinese guy wear a queue and a gun and speak regular English in a movie.
"Hope your father doesn"t see this," I said at the end. "He might get trigger-happy."
"That"s dumb. Besides, these people in the movie are Chinese."
"No, they aren"t. The actors, I mean. They"re j.a.panese Americans. Besides, it wouldn"t matter to him."
"Oh. Well, you"re right; it wouldn"t."
I took her to Allen"s Drive-In, where we sat in the car. She ordered a chocolate shake. I had a double cheeseburger, fries, a root beer, and later asked for a piece of cheesecake.
"Why aren"t you fat?" Cyn asked me.
"Mmm." I had a mouthful of food.
"n.o.body ever asks me out," said Cyn.
When I could talk, I said, "I never ask anybody out."
"Isn"t it nice? We belong together."
Warning bells went off in my head, but before I could puke, she threw her arms around me. I went down hard and stayed pinned until the waitress arrived with the cheesecake. Then I sat up, paid, and floored the accelerator. My daddy"s car wouldn"t lay rubber; instead, it backfired twice and stalled out. Even so, Cyn retreated and I headed for her house.
What did I know? I had thought we would be two old friends going out for a pleasant evening. We had been casual friends for several years in school; how would I know that showing up after dinner meant I was a gentleman caller? I thought I was John Chinaman, local nerd. In fact, I was. Only now I was a nerd with a girlfriend.
We went out three more times. She spent most of the time talking about how far she would let me go, constantly trying to get me to go for the minimum. I was too disappointed, finding that an old friend had suddenly started leaving her brains at home whenever we got together. Besides, two thoughts kept occurring to me: her father killed j.a.ps and when white women like slanted eyes, white women die.
On our fourth date, I succ.u.mbed like the nerd I was. I had picked up this cheapie little ring and was going to give it to her. Since I didn"t know how to get rid of her, I figured I might as well do what she wanted.
We were sitting in the front seat of the car in the parking lot of my grade school. Tall trees hid one corner of it from the street, making it one of the very few spots where cops did not check parked cars with their flashlights. I waited as late as I could.
"Well," I said, "would you, uh, be interested in a little, real cheapie ring?"
"Sure!" She brightened so much, I felt guilty.
"Here," I said.
"Ooh." She took it and stuck it onto her little finger. It went past the first knuckle, but not the second. She had to take it off again. "I love it. Thank you, you"re wonderful."
I got a hug and a kiss while I started the car. At the stroke of twelve, my daddy"s car failed one more time, turning into a pumpkin. Or else it was killed by the jolts it took trying to cross a set of railroad tracks.
"Get out. Better get to a tow truck, quick," I said. "Hurry."
We both jumped out and started on foot. The vibration in the ground was subtle at first, and we kept walking. Then the earth began to shake, and the rumble of a train was unmistakable. I hustled her farther down the road; the car was doomed. We turned to watch.
"Oh, no," she cried. "I left the ring in the car!" She started to run back.
"Wait. Wait. Wait!"
She went running back, bobbing and waddling faster than I had ever thought she could. I was running flat out behind her, and gaining, but she was already at the car. Ahead of me, she yanked open the pa.s.senger door and threw herself inside. A deadly white light illuminated the whole scene and a great booming sepulchral note from the train sailed across the sky in harmonious company with the rhythmic rumbling of the tracks. The huge diesel smashed into the car and sent chunks flying in all directions.
I felt sick. That night, the next day, at the funeral, for months after, I felt very sick. I had not known her very well-eighteen-year-olds rarely know each other very well-and I hadn"t liked her much lately. But I was sick.
I want my baby back.
Then for a while I walked around feeling tough. I had survived the accidental death of a girlfriend, and that seemed tragically romantic. Next I decided that I had grown up from this experience, but I hadn"t, especially. Just a little, to an ordinary extent for such an event. Then I got well.
Blue Eyes was coming to me, from out of the skies on flight something-or-other-but that was just a nickname.
Ann"s eyes were a striking blue that set off her huge frizzy triangle of red-orange hair. The freckles were a bonus.
Ann was no accident. I went after her deliberately in college, being only half a nerd now. She thought I acted silly but cute, like a puppy.
I was sitting in one of the lounges in the dormitory. The place was jammed with all the dateless and homeless flotsam of a Sat.u.r.day night, scruffy and loud and not very drunk. Laughing, hairy, barefoot students tumbled and sprawled across the furniture and all over the floor. Two games of Scrabble were in progress on the red carpet and the stereo speakers imbedded in the wall thumped and whined in acidic rhythms.
The dizzy redhead cartwheeled across the top of the couch, celebrating the blaring music. Ann finished with a headstand that exhibited a luscious silhouette, and then she let herself gently fall into my lap. We knew each other some.
"Hi," she shouted in my ear, laughing. "How are ya?"
"Oh-fine," I yelled back, making the response a one-word sound. I started getting us untangled and saw that one of the Scrabble games was breaking up. "Wanna play Scrabble?"
"Oh, boy." With childlike enthusiasm, she leaped to the floor and scrambled to one of the boards. Some of the other players were leaving; some were staying for another round.
I followed Ann to the floor, squinting through marijuana smoke at the board. She handed me a little wooden rack and we all started picking letters.
The game started quickly. The first turns we all had seemed dull to me, but Ann kept studying all the new developments with a half-genuine, half-self-parodying excitement.
"Fops," she read off the board.
I looked at my letters. "Oxymoron. That"s a word." I placed it on the board by including an o already down along one side, thereby catching two triple-word-score squares. It was worth around fifty points, plus a fifty-point bonus for using all my letters.
"You"re pretty smart for a half-nerd." Ann yelled in my ear and grabbed me by the throat with one hand. Then she stood up and I followed, to minimize the likelihood of a crushed windpipe. She patted me on the head with her other hand and took me upstairs to her room for a nasty retribution.