It was as if her education had newly begun. The fixed aim, and the union with a practical man, had opened her faculties, not deficient in themselves, but contracted and nipped by the circ.u.mstances which she had not known how to turn to good account. Such a fresh stage in middle life comes to some few, like the midsummer shoot to repair the foliage that has suffered a spring blight; but it cannot be reckoned on, and Mrs.
Pringle would have been a more effective and self-possessed woman, a better companion to her husband, and with more root in herself, had Maria Meadows learnt to tune her nerves and her temper in the overthrow of her early hopes.
CHAPTER XIV.
Maurice Ferrars was a born architect, with such a love of brick and mortar, that it was meritorious in him not to have overbuilt Fairmead parsonage. With the sense of giving him an agreeable holiday, his sister wrote to him in February that Gilbert"s little attic was at his service if he would come and give his counsel as to the building project.
Mr. Kendal disliked the trouble and disturbance as much as Maurice loved it; but he quite approved and submitted, provided they asked him no questions; he gave them free leave to ruin him, and set out to take Sophy for a drive, leaving the brother and sister to their calculations.
Of ruin, there was not much danger, Mr. Kendal had a handsome income, and had always lived within it; and Albinia"s fortune had not appeared to her a reason for increased expense, so there was a sufficient sum in hand to enable Mr. Ferrars to plan with freedom.
A new drawing-room, looking southwards, with bedrooms over it, was the matter of necessity; and Albinia wished for a bay-window, and would like to indulge Lucy by a conservatory, filling up the angle to the east with gla.s.s doors opening into the drawing-room and hall. Maurice drew, and she admired, and thought all so delightful, that she began to be taken with scruples as to luxury.
"No," said Maurice, "these are not mere luxuries. You have full means, and it is a duty to keep your household fairly comfortable and at ease.
Crowded as you are with rather incongruous elements, you are bound to give them s.p.a.ce enough not to clash."
"They don"t clash, except poor Sophy. Gilbert and Lucy are elements of union, with more plaster of Paris than stone in their nature."
"Pray, has Kendal made up his mind what to do with Gilbert?"
"I have heard nothing lately; I hope he is grown too old for India."
"Gilbert is rather too well off for his good," said Mr. Ferrars; "the benefit of a profession is not evident enough."
"I know what I wish! If he could but be Mr. Dusautoy"s curate, in five or six years" time, what glorious things we might do with the parish!"
"Eh! is that his wish?"
"I have sometimes hoped that his mind is taking that turn. He is ready to help in anything for the poor people. Once he told me he never wished to look beyond Bayford for happiness or occupation; but I did not like to draw him out, because of his father"s plans. Why, what have you drawn? The alms-houses?"
"I could do no other when I was improving Gilbert"s house for him."
"That would be the real improvement! How pretty! I will keep them for him."
The second post came in, bringing a letter from Gilbert to his father, and Albinia was so much surprised, that her brother asked whether Gilbert were one of the boys who only write to their father with a reason.
"He can write more freely to me," said Albinia; "and it comes to the same thing. I am not in the least afraid of anything wrong, but perhaps he may be making some proposal for the future. I want to know how he is. Fancy his being so foolish as to go out bathing. I am afraid of his colds."
Many times during the consultation did Mr. Ferrars detect Albinia"s eye stealing wistfully towards that "E. Kendal, Esq.;" and when the proper owner came in, he was evidently as much struck, for he paused, as if in dread of opening the letter. Her eyes were on his countenance as he read, and did not gather much consolation. "I am afraid this is serious," at last he said.
"His cold?" exclaimed Albinia.
"Yes," said Mr. Kendal, reading aloud sentence by sentence, with gravity and consideration.
"I do not wish to alarm Mrs. Kendal, and therefore address myself at once to you, for I do not think it right to keep you in ignorance that I have had some of the old symptoms. I do not wish to make any one uneasy about me, and I may have made light of the cold I caught a month since; but I cannot conceal from myself that I have much painful cough, an inclination to shortness of breath, and pain in the back and shoulders, especially after long reading or writing. I thought it right to speak to Mr. Downton, but people in high health can understand nothing short of a raging fever; however, at last he called in the parish surgeon, a stupid, ignorant fellow, who understands my case no more than his horse, and treats me with hyoscyamus, as if it were a mere throat-cough. I thought it my duty to speak openly, since, though I am quite aware that circ.u.mstances make little difference in const.i.tutional cases, I know you and dear Mrs. Kendal will wish that all possible means should be used, and I think it--"
Mr. Kendal broke down, and handed the letter to his wife, who proceeded,
"I think it best you should be prepared for the worst, as I wish and endeavour to be; and truly I see so much trial and disappointment in the course of life before me, that it would hardly be the worst to me, except--"
That sentence finished Albinia"s voice, and stealing her hand into her husband"s, she read on in silence,
"for the additional sorrow to you, and my grief at bringing pain to my more than mother, but she has long known of the presentiment that has always hung over me, and will be the better prepared for its realization. If it would be any satisfaction to you, I could easily take a ticket, and go up to London to see any physician you would prefer. I could go with Price, who is going for his sister"s birthday, and I could sleep at his father"s house; but, in that case, I should want three pounds journey money, and I should be very glad if you would be so kind as to let me have a sovereign in advance of my allowance, as Price knows of a capital secondhand bow and arrows. With my best love to all,
"Your affectionate son,
"GILBERT KENDAL."
Albinia held the letter to her brother, to whom she looked for something cheering, but, behold! a smile was gaining uncontrollably on the muscles of his cheeks, though his lips strove hard to keep closely shut. She would not look at him, and turning to her husband, exclaimed, "We will take him to London ourselves!"
"I am afraid that would be inconvenient," observed Maurice.
"That would not signify," continued Albinia; "I must hear myself what is thought of him, and how I am to nurse him. Oh! taking it in time, dear Edmund, we need not be so much afraid! Maurice will not mind making his visit another time."
"I only meant inconvenient to the birthday party," drily said her brother.
"Maurice!" cried she, "you don"t know the boy!"
"I have no doubt that he has a cold."
"And I know there is a great deal more the matter!" cried Albinia. "We have let him go away to be neglected and badly treated! My poor, dear boy! Edmund, I will fetch him home to-morrow."
"You had better send me," said Maurice, mischievously, for he saw he was diminishing Mr. Kendal"s alarm, and had a brotherly love of teasing Albinia, and seeing how pretty she looked with her eyes flashing through wrathful tears, and her foot patting impetuously on the carpet.
"You!" she cried; "you don"t believe in him! You fancy all boys are made of iron and steel--you would only laugh at him--you made us send him there--I wish--"
"Gently, gently, my dear Albinia," said her husband, dismayed at her vehemence, just when it most amused her brother. "You cannot expect Maurice to feel exactly as we do, and I confess that I have much hope that this alarm may be more than adequate."
"He thinks it all a scheme!" said Albinia, in a tone of great injury.
"No, indeed, Albinia," answered her brother, seriously, "I fully believe that Gilbert imagines all that he tells you, but you cannot suppose that either the tutor or doctor could fail to see if he were so very ill."
"Certainly not," a.s.sented Mr. Kendal.
"And low spirits are more apt to accompany a slight ailment, than such an illness as you apprehend."
"I believe you are right," said Mr. Kendal. "Where is the letter?"
Albinia did not like it to come under discussion, but could not withhold it, and as she read it again, she felt that neither Maurice nor her cousin Fred could have written the like, but she was only the more impelled to do battle, and when she came to the unlucky conclusion, she exclaimed, "I am sure that was an afterthought. I dare say Price asked him while he was writing."