The Pillow Book Mini-Specials (Dong Hua Edition) – Part 6by
It is with great sadness and reluctance for me to inform followers of the mini specials that this will be the final one. Since our Dijun is well-loved and has always been the one with the best punch lines, it is fitting for him to be featured in this final post.
Character Profile
Name: Dong Hua
Gender: Male
Height: Specific height untraceable
Age: Specific age untraceable
Spirit Age: Specific spirit age untraceable
Species: Stone (…)
Nationality: (Will just say he is from the East)
Residence: Tai Chen Palace
Hobbies: Fishing, reading Buddhist scriptures, bullying Feng Jiu
Target of Affection: Ji Heng, Feng Jiu (typical), other specific figures untraceable
Commonly called: Dijun, Dong Hua, Dong Hua Dijun, teacher (Ji Heng), ice face (Xiao Yan)
Rank: Emperor
Weapon: Cang’he sword
Clothing: Billion of years also unchanged purple robe
Hair Style: Distinctive silver color
(Once encountering Dijun, all those digital stuff all become “untraceable” …… Dijun you are just … too strong)
One
A particular day, Feng Jiu and Dong Hua were discussing emotional issues.
Feng Jiu: “Did you fall in love with me at first sight or slowly with the progress of time?”
Dong Hua: “After a long time.”
Feng Jiu: “I fell in love with you at first sight ar …”
Dong Hua : “To fall in love at first sight one must at least look decent.”
Feng Jiu: “……”
Two
Feng Jiu (looking at the mosquito bites on her legs unhappily): “I especially hate summer! Mosquitoes are everywhere ……”
Dong Hua: “Oh? How come I did not get bitten?”
Feng Jiu took this opportunity to retaliate: “Because Dijun has very thick skin so they cannot penetrate through it.”
Dong Hua: “Actually, I am thinking of a problem.”
Feng Jiu: “What problem?”
Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, do you think the IQ of those mosquitoes who have bitten you will decrease?”
Feng Jiu:” ….”
Three
Dong Hua: “You are going to cook today, Feng Jiu?”
Feng Jiu (looking annoyed): “Which day I did not cook?”
Dong Hua: “Oh yes, I can see you have been working very hard … so I will cook today!”
Feng Jiu: “Ok, what are you going to cook?”
Dong Hua (thinking for a long time): “Sweet and sour fish, I can cook this dish relatively well.”
Feng Jiu (hollow laugh): “Dijun I can see that you are very tired after reading the Buddhist scriptures … so …… I will cook.”
Four
Lian Song: “I heard that you have started to like Feng Jiu when she was only a little fox?”
Dong Hua: “Ah?”
Lian Song (serious): “In the mortal world, they usually call this ‘fox fetish’.”
Dong Hua: “… … I heard that you treat Cheng Yu expecially well, to the extend if she say east, you will not dare to say west?”
Lian Song (use the fan to cover his face): “You flatter me ~~ it should be this way.”
Dong Hua: “In the mortal world, they usually call this ‘hen-pecked husband’.”
Lian Song: “… …”
Five
Three hundred years ago, when Feng Jiu is still Dong Hua’s pet, Lian Song took Cheng Yu to Tai Chen Palace for a visit.
Cheng Yu kept staring at Feng Jiu all the time: “Dijun, can little me touch the little fox just once?”
Dong Hua: “Whenever you see novel things, you will want to touch them habit has not been cured by Lian Song?”
Cheng Yu:” I’ve lived for so long yet this is only the first time that I see a fox with no fur and no tail. Only one touch, just one, is that even too much?”
Dong Hua put down the Buddhist scriptures and said softly: “Only allow just one touch.”
(Remember, Cheng Yu also wanted to touch Bai Qian & little dough replied just one touch:P?)
Six
After Xiao Yan failed to beat Dong Hua in a fight.
Xiao Yan: “I’ve been thinking about a problem, why can’t I beat Dong Hua.”
Feng Jiu: “Have you managed to think of the reason?”
Xiao Yan: “The reason is that – I use the fist but ice face uses the sword!”
Dong Hua (use the handkerchief to wipe the Cang’he sword, while moving his eyeb.a.l.l.s): “I did not say you cannot use a sword, but seeing you are so interested in your fist, I feel embarra.s.sed to use my fist.”
Xiao Yan: “…… Ice face, what is your logic?”
Dong Hua: “Dijun’s brand logic, most people basically do not understand. If you do not believe you can ask Xiao Bai.”
Feng Jiu: “…”
Seven
Little dough (Because Ye Hua and Bai Qian also refused to help him do his a.s.signment, so little dough shamelessly looked for Donghua): “Brother Dong Hua!”
Donghua: “…”
Little dough: “Help me write my a.s.signment! Brother Dong Hua, you are the most handsome, you are the most best looking, you look particularly young!”
Dong Hua: : “…”
Little dough (after thinking): “In the whole wide world, only brother Dong Hua and sister Feng Jiu is the best matched pair!”
Dong Hua helped him write his a.s.signment…
Eight
For Bai Gun Gun’s birthday, Feng Jiu personally helped him do his homework. The next day ……
Bai Gun Gun: “I do not want to celebrate birthday anymore.”
Dong Hua: “Why?”
Bai Gun Gun: “Teacher said all my homework has been done wrongly …”
Donghua: “This is father lord’s fault … I am the one who has been doing all your mummy’s homework … ”
Bai Gun Gun:” …… ”
Nine
There is no wind today so suitable for fishing at Fen-tou-li pond.
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, you have finished doing my schoolwork?”
Dong Hua: “Yan Chi Wu is helping you to write your a.s.signment.”
Feng Jiu: “You bully him?”
Dong Hua (turn the page of the Buddist scriptures ): “He came to challenge me to a fight.”
Feng Jiu: “Is it whoever lose the fight will have to do my homework? Then he lost?”
Dong Hua (his face has the words “you’re too naive” written on it): “I just said if you help me to finish xiao bai’s homework, I will fight with you. As a result, he went to do your homework.”
Feng Jiu (surprise): “Dijun … 3 months · · worth of · homework · ah · · you · let · him · do it · · alone? You have the nerve?”
Dong Hua (turn another page of the Buddist scriptures): “I have plenty of nerve. In fact, I found out…”
Feng Jiu: “Found out what?”
Dong Hua: “That you are not the dumbest.”
Feng Jiu: “…”
Ten
When the male leads say I love you to the female leads …
Bai Qian: “I also love you. I always want to be with you.”
Jun Fu (blush): “I I…… I also love you very much, Mu Yan …”
Cheng Yu: “Oh? (react three seconds later) – rogue!”
Song Ning: “Shen An, do you know how long and hard I have waited for you to say this. ……”
Feng Jiu (the face turn scarlet): “Elderly Di Jun…”
Dong Hua: “Why are you so nervous? Today is April Fool’s Day.”
As Dijun will no doubt say “Haha, you’ve been fooled” Heehee, thank you everyone for the support so please come back next week for part 7:)