"So I heard. I believe congratulations are in order-you are an aunt?"
He"d known she would be home alone and still came? As a family friend, he had visited her alone before, but it had never felt like this. She could not let him see a reaction; she could not afford to interpret the reaction herself. "As the youngest of five-all of them well engaged in the commandment of replenishing the earth-I have little originality of feeling over this role, but thank you. New life is always worthy of celebration, and as this is Charlotte"s first child, it is an exciting event."
He smiled. She smiled back but found it difficult to hold his eyes and so turned her attention to smoothing the skirt of the lavender day dress she"d chosen for his visit. Lila had always said Eloise looked exceptional in lavender, but she felt ridiculous for thinking that would matter now.
Neville cleared his throat. "I brought a jar of mola.s.ses from America for your family-a Christmas gift." He picked up a jar she hadn"t noticed from next to his chair and handed it to her.
"Mola.s.ses?" she said as she took the item and turned it in her hands. The substance inside looked like honey but was black as coal.
"Similar to what we call black treacle here in England, only thicker, sweeter, and stronger in flavor. They have it in great quant.i.ties in America, and I thought you might enjoy the newness of it. Tell your cook it"s exceptional in ginger cookies or cakes. She has always done a remarkable job with such things, and I thought of her-and you-when I had mola.s.ses cookies for the first time."
He thought of me in America?
Keep your heart closed!
"Thank you for such a thoughtful gift," she said, genuinely touched. "I believe my mother had some spiced bread taken around from our family to yours before leaving town."
"Yes, it was delicious."
Eloise felt a tickle in her throat and coughed into her handkerchief as delicately as possible.
"How are you feeling? Did you receive my note?"
Eloise nodded. "I did, thank you. I am behind in my replies, for which I apologize." In truth, she had not planned to reply. She"d felt he"d sent the note as an olive branch that she had no choice but to accept. "I"m feeling much better; it is only a lingering cough that now besets me. That"s why I did not go with my parents. I want to be full recovered before I meet my new niece."
"Have you no plans for Christmas, then?"
"No," Eloise said. "I will save my strength and celebrate twelfth night at Charlotte"s." And she had no interest in being social right now. "Have you holiday plans?"
"Aunt Hannah and her family are coming tomorrow and staying for the fortnight. She"s already informed Father and me that we shall be celebrating Christmas in all its splendor. Since Lila was always the one to head up such celebrations, we are indebted to her."
"Your Aunt Hannah is lovely," Eloise said, remembering the many times the family had visited Hemberg over the years. Eloise knew Aunt Hannah nearly as well as she knew her own aunts. "And it will be lovely for you and your father to have family around for the holiday."
"I suppose," Neville said with a smile. "With six children and the eldest not yet fourteen, it will be loud if nothing else."
Eloise smiled. They lapsed into silence until finally Neville cleared his throat rather pointedly. Eloise prepared herself for even more discomfort. "Eloise, I tried to find a way to say it in the letter but could not get the right words. I cannot stop thinking about the Websters" ball. I-"
"It is all right," she cut in, unprepared to face this topic. "Let us leave it there."
"I was inappropriate and unfair with what I said to you that night."
She continued to stare at the jar in her hand, turning it so that the substance rolled slowly back and forth. "It is all right, Neville." But emotion was rising up, and her anxiety was increasing. Next would be the remembered embarra.s.sment. The wager. A prize he did not claim himself.
"I hate to know that I"ve damaged our friendship," Neville said. "That was not my intent, and as I have pondered on that night, I"ve realized-"
"It was a game," Eloise cut, gathering all her courage and looking up at him. "I understand. We are still friends, Neville. Let us leave it at that."
Neville pulled his eyebrows together. "A game?"
"The wager?" she said, unable to keep the edge from her voice. "I am only one of many players. I understand." Except she continued to hold it against him. "But it will be much harder to forget it ever happened if we are to discuss it."
Neville"s mouth fell open. "Burke told you it was a wager," he said in a breath.
Until that moment, Eloise hadn"t realized that some part of her held out hope that Burke had been lying, yet Neville now confirmed that he had not. She felt small and used all over again.
Neville moved forward in his chair, "Eloise, I never-"
"I understand Mr. Burke has left Hemberg," she said in an attempt to fill the air with something other than the topic of the wager. "I a.s.sume he"s not coming back." She looked at the jar as an excuse not to look at him. Neville had carried this across the ocean for her. How could he be so thoughtful and thoughtless at the same time?
"You wish he were coming back?"
"No, of course not. It was all a game. I know that." Why would you put me into such a game? she screamed in her mind. And why did you not claim the prize first? You had ample opportunity to do so!
Saying such things out loud was ridiculous, however, especially since at least some measure of her preparation for the Websters" ball had been to present herself as that very prize she was embarra.s.sed to have unwittingly become. At least to Mr. Burke. The confusing thoughts rattled in her mind until she quickly stood, prompting Neville to do the same. She gathered all her courage and met his eye with a polite smile and a closed heart, though her feelings pressed and clawed to be released.
"Thank you for the gift. Happy Christmas, Neville." She turned toward the door.
"Come to dinner tomorrow night," he said in a great hurry of words, causing her to stop and turn back to face him. "We"ll be having a Christmas dinner, of course, and I would like you to come."
There was a rashness in his offer that made it feel pitied. "I have not been well, Neville. I do not think it wise for me to go out or risk infecting others."
"We are a hearty lot," he said in that same quick-step manner. "And I shall send our carriage with bricks and robes to ensure you"re warm. Please come, Eloise. I-I have a Christmas gift I would like to give you."
A Christmas gift implied some forethought that his tone did not suggest. She lifted the jar she held in her hand. "You have already given my family a very thoughtful gift."
"I have another one," he said quickly. "A better one. Please, Eloise." His voice was as rich and thick as the mola.s.ses. "Let me start toward making things right between us. Please."
Even as she held his eyes and told herself to refuse his hasty offer, she knew that she could not. She loved him-so help her, she did-and though she feared the deepness of those feelings were in vain, she wanted to return to the comfort they once shared, if it were possible. "All right," she said softly and watched the relief ease his tight expression.
Neville reached out and took her hand, his touch sparking warmth and confusion and sorrow all at once. That pressing clawing at her heart increased, and she stepped backward to break the connection that was too much to bear.
"I shall send the carriage at six," he said.
Eloise took another step back and nodded. "Yes."
He moved past her toward the door, but before he quit the room, he turned back and smiled. "I will make this right."
She wasn"t sure he ever could, but she nodded.
Chapter Thirteen.
It was a hard afternoon"s ride toward Newport, and then Neville had no choice but to stop at a posting house still outside the city when the dark and snow set upon him. Even the best room was flea-bitten and moldering, which made it easy to quit first thing the next morning and take the last few miles to Newport. He had the name of Burke"s uncle-a Mr. Jonathan Burke-and it took under an hour to find the man"s rented rooms not far from the square. Quick inquiry showed that the Mr. Henry Burke Neville was in search of had already left for the day, or rather not returned from the night before. They expected he was at the Cherry Stone Pub on High Street. The pub wasn"t open for business this early in the day, but Burke had made a quick friend in the owner"s son and enjoyed the delights of the resort town before hours. All of this was shared through the services of a far-from-loyal footman, who seemed already out of favor with the young master.
Neville found the pub soon enough and made his way to the back door where several sets of footprints in the snow and the pitch of both male and female laughter gave away the expedition. Neville took a breath and pushed open the heavy wooden door before picking his way past crates and counters forming the kitchen and storage area. He finally pushed through the pub and blinked to adjust his eyes to the dim light.
There were two men and at least four women laughing in the far corner of the room. One of the women was attempting to dance but looked a bit overindulged, as she could not keep balance on her high-heeled shoes. The scene was not much different than a dozen others Neville had encountered with Burke; he always seemed to make friends with a pub or saloon owner"s son when he reached a new city. Predictability was Neville"s friend today.
None of the high-spirited companions noticed Neville until he strode purposefully in their direction. It was easy enough to make out Burke"s form in the group. Neville quickly took hold of his collar, pulled him to his feet, and pushed him toward the door while Burke sputtered and stumbled and b.u.mbled along. Burke"s companions found this terribly funny and therefore did not try to stop Neville"s retreat, for which he was grateful.
Once outside, Burke raised his hands to his eyes and cried out that he was blind. Neville folded his arms over his chest, waiting for Burke to adjust to the light and the cold. When he finally did, he squinted. "Neville? What on earth are you doing here?"
"I am cleaning you up and bringing you back to Hemberg." Neville ran his eyes up and down Burke"s person. What did Eloise see in him?
"Beg your pardon," Burke said, looking around until he found a crate. He pulled it underneath him as a seat. "But I"d rather not return to Hemberg. This place, however, is top of the trees. Let me introduce you to Daniel; he knows a lot of girls who, for a shot of whiskey, will-"
"I"ve no interest in the girls or meeting Daniel, thank you very much. I need you to come back to Hemberg."
"Need me, eh?" Burke said, folding his arms across his chest and squinting up at Neville, though the sky was overcast and it was not exceptionally bright. "And what do you need me for?"
"I don"t need you," Neville said. "But you need to come back for Eloise. She is . . . sad."
Burke lifted his eyebrows, and the action nearly toppled him from his seat. "Sad?"
"You kissed her and left," Neville said, pointing in the direction of Hemberg. "She"s kept to her house ever since, and when I went to look in on her, she asked about you."
Burke looked confused. "She asked after me?"
"Yes," Neville said. "And so I"ve come to fetch you. Come back to Hemberg and give her another chance. Get to know her without any games or devices to interfere. If we leave right now, we can get back in time for Christmas dinner. It would mean the world to her to have you there and a great deal to me as well."
Burke"s eyebrows seemed fused together as he tucked his hands under his arms. "I"ve had a bit to drink today, so let me make sure I"ve understood this properly. Eloise asked after me, and you"ve come to fetch me for her, even though you"re plumb in love with her yourself."
The p.r.o.nouncement took Neville off guard, yet he could not deny it. Not honestly. "I want Eloise"s happiness," he said evenly. "And your leaving has upset her. Please come back to Hemberg and see if the difficulty between you can be repaired."
"You want her happiness over your own, then?" Burke said.
Neville did not know how else to explain it, and so he simply nodded.
Burke scrubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. "I am not the man who will make her happy."
What a stubborn buffoon! "Just take some time to get to know her before you make such a decision, then it will be a choice based on something of substance rather than dismissed out of hand. She is not like other women you"ve met, I"ll give you that. She has depth you can"t possibly understand after such a short acquaintance. I believe if you spend more time with her, you will better appreciate all the matters of character that make her so wholly exceptional."
Burke lifted his head and peered at Neville. "But you hope the decision is ultimately that she and I do not continue forward."
Neville furrowed his brow. Was that what he hoped? A quick reflection showed that he"d said as much. "If you are well suited and will find happiness together, then I would want that for you both."
"But in your heart you don"t wish for that, do you, Franklin? In your heart, you want her for yourself."
"You make her sound like a prized horse," Neville said, but he stared at his shoes and kicked at a clump of snow.
"And you have avoided this question in three different forms now-are you in love with Eloise?"
In love? Neville didn"t know how to answer that. He had never been in love with anyone, so how could he know if he were in love with Eloise in a matter of days since first realizing she was more than the girl he"d made mud pies with? With Burke staring at him, he felt as though he were on trial. "I don"t know," Neville said.
"You enjoy her company," Burke said.
"Yes, of course, but I enjoy the company of many women. Well, not to say many women, but, well . . ."
"Do you enjoy her company above all other women with whom you are acquainted?" Burke asked.
Neville only considered the question a moment. "Yes." There was a freedom to say it, a kind of release, as though something having bound him was loosened. He did enjoy Eloise"s company above all other women he would consider friends. He was comfortable with her, engaged by what she had to say, and never eager to leave her company.
"And you are physically attracted to her," Burke continued.
Neville let out a breath. "To say as much makes me feel as though I am admitting to some kind of indiscretion. As though I am attracted to my own sister."
"Which would be a problem if she were your sister, but she is not. You had no qualms admitting that you were attracted to Lila, your cousin."
"No, I did not, but I was in America when things sweetened between Lila and me. Then they soured quickly, and I"m not sure I ever felt any sort of physical draw to her." It was oddly simple to sum up his thoughts on that, though he"d not spent much time pondering them before now.
"Is Lila somehow interfering with your acceptance of seeing Eloise differently than you have until now? Are you still pining for Eloise"s best friend?"
"I am not." It was the easiest question to answer, though he wondered at Burke"s rather sober inquisition. "None of this matters, Burke. What does matter is that Eloise is pining for you, and I have promised her a Christmas gift tonight at dinner. If we are not on the road within the hour, we will not make it back in time."
Burke grinned. "And I am this Christmas gift?"
"Yes," Neville said, dropping his voice and his shoulders. "Please come, Burke. If ever we"ve been friends, please do this for me. a.s.sure Eloise that she did not waste that kiss on a man unwilling to invest some time with her. Please."
Burke rose to his feet with a groan, steadying himself on the doorway once he was standing. "I daresay that if this inheritance of yours falls through, you could be a cracking good barrister, as you have presented me an argument against which I cannot defend." He nodded crisply. "I will go to Hemberg with you, see Eloise, and set her heart at peace once and for all."
It was an odd way of saying he would do as Neville asked, but he"d agreed to come to Hemberg, so Neville was in no mind to argue.
Chapter Fourteen.
The carriage, complete with warm bricks and rugs as promised, arrived at ten till the hour. Eloise wore a light blue dress-purposely avoiding anything more festive that might remind her of the Websters" ball-and tried not to fret about the evening ahead. If not for wanting desperately to return to a place of friendship with Neville, she"d have never agreed to this. His family would be there to belay any awkwardness, which she was glad for-Eloise loved children and found they were priceless in the way they could set a mood. Besides, what was Christmas without children?
It will be fine, she a.s.sured herself, but still kept adjusting her wool cape around her shoulders and pleating and repleating the muslin of her skirt.
She was shown into the drawing room upon her arrival and greeted warmly by Aunt Hannah and her six children. Aunt Hannah"s husband, Mr. Campbell, would be joining them on Christmas Day, once he concluded some last-minute business that had prevented him from traveling with the family. The adults chatted amiably while the children worked on a puzzle on the far side of the room for what seemed too long, until Aunt Hannah said they would go into dinner without Neville. "I"m sure he"ll be here soon," Aunt Hannah said. "But I hate to have dry goose on Christmas Eve of all days."
They moved into the dining room, and though Eloise noted two empty chairs instead of only one for Neville, she did not comment-perhaps they hoped Mr. Campbell might arrive earlier than expected.
Dinner was delicious and certainly orchestrated by Aunt Hannah, as she related each course to some part of the Christmas story. The clear onion soup, for instance, was in similitude of the atonement of Christ, which cleared all of our sinful souls so that we might live again with G.o.d. The haddock in lemon sauce related to the many parables Jesus had told regarding fish and fishermen. They were on the main course-goose, to remind them of the bounteous blessings from the Lord-when the Franklins" butler announced that Master Neville had arrived and that he and Mr. Burke would join the party as soon as they had freshened up.