A rumbling chuckle echoed from behind me.
"What"s so funny? It is harder to navigate at night, you know."
He reached across the tree that lay between us and tucked the fallen strand of my hair back behind my ear.
"We aren"t cocreating," came his voice, huskier than his laugh.
"Huh?"
I had trouble remembering what we"d been talking about. All I could manage to focus on was how close he was to my face and how his hand lingered.
"You"re doing the creating, I"m just along for the ride." He waited with his eyebrows raised and a crooked little sideways grin on his face.
"I"m creating this? No, I wouldn"t," I said in disbelief.
"I know I"m not creating anything at the moment. I"m having too much fun watching what you"re coming up with all on your own."
"Oh." I could feel my face becoming hot. The night air, that moments ago had been so cool, was now uncomfortably warm.
"Maybe you made the route difficult so that I"d have to a.s.sist you up over every obstacle?"
"I wasn"t thinking at all!" I sputtered.
"I know. That"s what I"m enjoying about it the most," said Trevor.
"You what?" My voice sounded high-pitched and screechy. As I finally got myself untangled from Trevor and the tree I was straddling, I stepped back and noticed the new lettering that glowed white against the black of his T-shirt: I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSt.i.tUTE MY OWN.
I plopped my forehead into my hands. "Okay, Lowry, I get it, you"re messing with me. I"m not completely used to this lack of hostility between us." I braved a peek and said, "I don"t remember how wea"I mean the past-life Elliot and Trevora"were with each other after we learned each other"s darkest fears and failures. Even though I don"t remember it, I have a strange feeling that things between us got a bit better. Maybe we found some hope to hang on to."
I wondered how big hope could actually grow.
"I don"t remember either," he said. "But if we base our a.s.sumptions about us on what we actually know, you do realize that it"s not pretty."
He kept his tone light as he said this, but I knew he wasn"t off the mark.
"You"re right." I plopped down next to him. "It"s crazy."
I glanced over at Trevor"s tousled hair. I impulsively reached up and ran my fingers through the silky black strands and squeezed my eyes shut, internally bracing myself. "It might be possible that Ia"that I wanted you near me." I didn"t dare peek at him as I made the admission.
I felt his warm breath in my ear. "If I promise to be near you, do you think you could create an easier path up to wherever it is that you"re taking me?"
My eyes popped open. His face was unreadable.
"I can do that. Yeah, I can definitely do that," I said, grabbing his hand. I had no idea what I was doing, but I decided I didn"t have to think about it. Within moments we found ourselves spiraling into another Delve, hand in hand.
a a a My vision came into focus and I found myself staring up into the canopy of a mature maple tree. The sun was directly overhead and the wind was blowing just enough that bits of light danced everywhere, like water bugs shooting across the surface of a pond.
Lying there, I felt calm. I couldn"t remember the last time I hadn"t felt dead or dying on the inside. It was like finally breathing after being underwater.
I could feel the cool ground supporting the length of my body. Spa.r.s.e blades of gra.s.s tickled the backs of my knees. My head was propped up on Trevor"s stomach, slowly rising up and down in time to his breathing.
"Do you like it better over here? Not so hot, huh?" came Trevor"s voice.
I turned my head and saw Oliver"s bench gleaming in the hot sun.
"Yeah, this is better," I said, remembering how we"d sat in the bright white sun all last week, getting to know the very worst things about each other. It was almost as if we"d let the sun bleach away our personal shortcomings.
"What made you think to come over here?" I asked.
"I"m not sure." He paused long enough that I wasn"t positive he would continue, but he did. "It was your face, I think. Your cheeks were so red and flushed; I was worried that you might pa.s.s out from heat stroke. Then who would I talk to while hanging out at the local cemetery?"
I"d spent enough time with him now to know that the teasing sound in his voice would correspond to a twisted little smirk near the corner of his mouth. It was thrilling to finally be able to know some of his nuances.
"Thank you," I said, returning to the comfortable silence we"d been sharing. There"d been so many words and tears over the last week. Now it was a quieter time.
The sky was bright blue and the clouds were exquisite. They were billowing and pristine as they rollicked across my line of vision. When they pa.s.sed across the sun in just the right place, they appeared illuminated from within.
"Do you think it looks like that?" Trevor said.
"Do I think what looks like what?" I asked.
"Heaven."
How could one word invoke so many mysteries?
"It seems just like I always imagined Heaven. These really are the kind of clouds a Heaven would exist in," I said.
"That"s what I was thinking, buta"" He sucked in a deep breath. "I think that would be too easy. I used to believe that clouds were a fine place for Heaven, until I understood that people could fly above them. It sort of ruined it for me."
"Did you stop believing in the afterlife?" I asked, a hint of reservation in my voice.
"Not sure exactly. I guess I always figured there"s a place that you go, but I stopped thinking of it being in the clouds. It seems childish to think that way."
He hadn"t asked anything else, so I allowed him to ruminate.
"Where do you think he is?" The questioned ripped raggedly from the depths of him. He wanted to know about Oliver.
"I don"t know, Trevor. I don"t know the answer to that any more than I know where I"m headed after what I"ve done." The words skittered shakily, fear catching in my throat.
A cloud pa.s.sed over the sun, leaving Oliver Lowry"s bench cool, black, and lonely.
a a a There was hardly any disorientation as we came out of this Delve. We were getting used to hurtling around on the s.p.a.ce-time continuum. I was still holding Trevor"s hand. We weren"t sprawled across each other on the ground. I wondered if that was significant at all. Were we gaining some control?
"Well, that was interesting," said Trevor.
"It"s all interesting, but what do you mean exactly?" I gave him a tiny nudge in the ribs, still unsure if he recognized the humor in my voice when I was teasing him.
"I was thinking about us under the tree."
"Well, it was so much more comfortable under there."
"So you were comfortable, leaning on me?" He gripped my hand a bit more firmly, maybe guessing that I"d yank it back when he teased.
It was becoming harder to separate the way I"d felt about the boy from my past and the way I responded to Trevor now. It didn"t seem so strange to be holding his hand and smiling at him when moments ago I"d had my head tucked against his chest. This was getting way too weird. I didn"t want to talk about it until I"d had more time to think.
"It was fascinating to watch what was happening from a different perspective," Trevor continued. "We"d put some distance between ourselves and Oliver"s death."
"Oh, I hadn"t thought of it that way. What do you think it means?"
"I think it means that I"m more confused than I was before," he muttered under his breath. I was ready to second the thought when I heard an out-of-place sound behind me. I whipped my head around in time to see David thundering up the path behind us, the sunrise framing him.
"Not an interesting development." I was pleased that my voice sounded snarky instead of terrified, despite the bull that was charging straight for me. Trevor"s presence gave me a boost of confidence.
Trevor stepped forward, more diplomatic than I"d expected, probably trying to run interference. "Hey, David." He paused. "You don"t seem like the type who goes out for a stroll."
David bent over and gave a wheeze while mopping his drippy forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. "Ia"I was searching for you." He righted himself and took a deep breath. Then he squinted and a bottle of water appeared in his hand. He motioned for us to wait as he inhaled the contents. David gulped so hard, the plastic walls caved in, making a crunching sound. Looking less like a heart attack in the making, he tossed the bottle over his shoulder.
"Ever hear of recycling?" I popped off. Trevor put a hand on my shoulder.
Before David could get in my face, Trevor inserted himself between us. "You said you were looking for us. Here we are."
"Hmph. I saw the two of you sneaking out of the Haven in the dark and figured you could use a chaperone." His grin was ma.s.sive. "Fortunately for you, I had a little trouble following you in the dark. Lost you there for a bit, but no matter." He glanced back over his shoulder at the sun, now a pink and orange Jell-O mold in the sky. "I"ve got you now. Seems to me like we"ll have just enough time to get back down for breakfast." I rolled my eyes, but he didn"t notice. "Oh, and because we"re bonding so nicely up here on this mountain, I"ll even personally escort my new best buddies to Workshop this morning." He turned to go and then spun back around. "Follow. Me." He said it slowly, exaggerating his words.
All my anger and frustration bubbled inside like a shaken can of soda. Trevor leaned down and whispered in my ear, "It"s not the time, hothead." He gave my elbow a squeeze. "Just remember your promise about Delving and follow my lead at Workshop. Anda"don"t get too close to me in there." He winked. "It seems to bring on the Delves." I nodded. "Tonight, after everyone goes to sleep, we split up and meet back here," he said.
"We have to wait until tonight?" Irritation made my voice p.r.i.c.kly.
"Yes. That is, if you"re savvy enough to get past him?"
I bit my lip, holding back my amus.e.m.e.nt. "Is that a challenge, Lowry?"
"NOW!" David bellowed from the path below.
Trevor"s mouth twitched. "d.a.m.n straight it"s a challenge."
19.
bellyaches.
Just about everyone was gone when we walked in to breakfast, but, lucky me, Julia was still there, waiting for Trevor. She was sitting all alone like that last crumb in a pie pan. I half hoped to find Oliver waiting for me, but if he"d been there he was already gone.
At first I was too strung out to eat, busy thinking about how to avoid Delving in front of the group, but when I saw Julia with a mound of blueberry pancakes swimming in maple syrup, I gave in to my baser instincts and decided to follow her lead. I was four pancakes in when I came up for air in time to find Julia picking at a warm cinnamon bun. Did she have a hollow leg? I leaned back and contemplated popping the b.u.t.ton on my pants, then saw David doing exactly that and thought better of it.
"Carb-loading, Elliot?" Trevor appeared amused.
I wasn"t sure what he"d eaten, but he didn"t look like he needed to be rolled to Workshop.
"Julia, I"m heading up to Workshop, you going that way?" Trevor looked pointedly at Julia, who appeared bouncy and not at all held back by the mountain of dough she"d swallowed. I felt like I"d eaten a bowling ball. My stomach twisted as she fell into step next to him. Neither one of them took the time to glance back at me. Everything in my gut turned sour.
"He"s got a cute little girlfriend there. She"s one of the sweetest Third Timers I"ve ever had in Workshop." My jaw hung open and David let out a rumbling burp m.u.f.fled by his fist.
"Excuse me?" I tried to make laser beams shoot out of my eyes. Of course afterlife hocus-pocus didn"t work for stuff like that.
He turned his head sharply and my bravado withered as I realized I was alone with him. He pushed back from the table and stood. "Time to go, Miss Turner. We don"t want to be late."
I stood up, seething that Trevor had paired up with Julia and left me with this Neanderthal. Grrrrrrr.
"Look on the bright side . . ." David said.
I waited. Then he roared with laughter.
"What?"
"I can"t think of anything."
"a.s.shole," I mumbled under my breath, and stalked out of the Haven with David lumbering behind me.
a a a David and I parted ways in the hall of the Delving School. I was relieved to have some significant physical distance between us. I pushed through the door to my cla.s.sroom and then remembered that I had bigger problems. Mel and Oliver. I"d forgotten how stressful things were between us. I opted for the mature path. I put my head down, high-tailed it to my chair, and immediately put my nose in a book. The maps in the oversized atlas I"d grabbed blurred and I dabbed at my face with my sleeve. At least the mammoth pages made a wonderful defensive barrier.
"Trevor, there you are. We were just getting ready to start," Mel said, spotting Trevor in the hallway. She didn"t even give me a h.e.l.lo.
"Hey, Mel," Trevor said as he walked in the door.
He"d left before me and arrived after me. I scowled, suspecting that he"d walked Julia to her Workshop. Above me I could hear the rhythmic creak of Oliver"s hammock rocking back and forth. I couldn"t bear to look up.
"Interested in being the first to Delve today?" Mel asked Trevor in her usual jovial tone.
"That sounds great."
My eyebrows shot up over the Arctic Circle. Hadn"t he said no Delving?
Trevor started toward the swing. About halfway there he leaned over and clutched his midsection. "Uh, Mel. I"m not feeling too good right now." He mimed something involving his gag reflex and then bolted out the door.
"That was attractive," Oliver said. I could almost feel his words dropping down onto the top of my head.
"It must"ve been something he ate?" I said in a squeaky voice. "Food poisoning?" What a great idea. I was just about to give a convincing moan when Mel interjected.
"Can"t be food poisoninga"the afterlife, automatic healing. Remember?" When was I going to learn that Trevor was not the ideal person to follow around? There went my cover. I heard Oliver snort. Now I really felt sick. I was covered in a cold sweat and panic was making my pulse race. Mel was going to make me Delve next. I knew I was being selfish, running away from everyone in Workshop when they were all depending on me, but I just hated it. Wasn"t it enough that I"d been letting Trevor see my bucket full of ugly? Did I really need to paint the room with it?
I felt like a juicy gazelle on the savannah. I shifted my gaze to avoid contact. It felt like minutes, slow painful minutes, before Mel continued speaking.
"Well, I"m sure he"ll be fine. I think we"re going to let Lily Delve first today. Is that okay with you?" I looked up slowly, but she was directing one of her sunny smiles at Lily. I closed the atlas and rested my forehead against its smooth cool cover.