After eating one side of the fish, I lifted the bone in the middle, then continued to eat the other side of the fish. Most people in the fishing village fish for a living, and there is a belief that flipping the fish to eat the other side, it signifies the action of ‘capsizing’, so we have to pick the bones up to eat the other side of the fish instead of flipping the fish over.

After having my fill, my stomach suddenly felt painful.

I quickly threw away the sc.r.a.pe food in a square, into the sea.

After washing the plates, I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could and squatted on top of a small square hole.

All of the excreta too fell into the sea. Without a chance to take a clear look at the ‘abdominal ma.s.s’, it had landed in the sea with a “Putong, Putong” sound and washed away by the waves.  



TL note: This is awfully specific..

The way these houses are built is un-friendly to the eco-system, but the people in the fishing village lack environmental awareness, hence paying little mind to this stuff.

After finishing my ‘big business’, I walked past the living room, the television is currently playing a drama series from Singapore. I really wanted to watch it, but didn’t want to ‘lie down’ with Wen Qiang, so I quickly ran upstairs, suppressing my desire to watch television.

The sound of sewing machine could be heard from upstairs, Aunt was sitting on top of a stool, focused on sewing clothes.

“You’ve come back?” She turned her head around.

“Mm.”

“Did you eat the fish?” She skillfully turned the clothes in another direction, pedaling with a constant rhythm, the needle threaded the clothes quickly, forming a straight line.

“Can I not eat?” Only in front of Aunt, I can speak my mind.

“Don’t say these kinds of words.” Aunt stopped her action, looked at me with a serious face and said.

“She ordered you guys to buy again?” 

“She wants you to eat nutritionally.”

“Why doesn’t she give you more money, such that you can buy fish for the whole family?”

“She did, but I wanted to save more money, so I only bought your fill.”

“Next time don’t buy any for me, let Wen Hao and Wen Han eat the fish. I don’t like to eat fish!” Wen Hao and Wen Han are the twin sons of Aunt.

“That won’t do, I promised her that I will take good care of you.

“Hm, She always pushes the responsibility to you!”

“Don’t say that, she is just very busy with her work, causing her to be unable to take care of you herself.” Aunt always tries to say good things about others.

“Those are only excuses! If she has the heart, then she would be able to do it.”

“She has her difficulties.”

“I don’t see what difficulties she has. Her whole body is full of branded items.”

“You have not been a mother yet, you don’t know the difficulties of a mother. You shouldn’t criticize your mother like that!”

I looked at Aunt’s face, there were those familiar freckles. I suddenly had feelings that I said out: “But she is not as good as you……”

“But I am not your mother……”

This sentence pierced through my heart painfully, I went silent.

“No matter how well I treat you, at the very end, I am still not your mother.”

We quietly sat there. Taking out the words in our hearts, is actually so painful.

“What are you talking about?” Uncle walked out of the study room.

He was half naked, wearing a loose pair of pants, showing a glimpse of his underpants.

He smiled at me, the frivolous look in his eyes makes my whole body severely uncomfortable.

“I am going out later.” He said to Aunt.

“Going out every day, not even going to work!” Aunt complained.

“It is the rainy season! The waves are big, you want me to go fishing, isn’t it the same as telling me to kill myself?”

“You stayed at home for three entire months, at least find something to do.” Aunt lifted her head to look at him.

“You are so annoying! Don’t be a busybody!” Uncle said as he walked back to the room.

Aunt went back to work, her face looking very depressed.

I went downstairs and went to my room for a nap.

When Wen Hao and Wen Han came back from school, it is already evening.

Aunt tells them to go and bath, then took out a big towel to wipe them dry.

Aunt treats children so nicely.

Wen Qiang, Wen Hao, Wen Han are three brothers, Aunt also has a daughter, called Hui Na.

Wen  Hao and Wen Han already promoted to Primary three, but still acts like a child, not knowing how to take care of themselves.

Hui Na ( We call her NaNa), is primary six. She’s very rough, a nicer phrasing would be “Neutralized gender”, a worse phrasing would be called her “Tomboy”. Whenever she’s at home, she would often yell loudly, I don’t dare to act like her, for that this isn’t my home.

Wen Qiang. An annoying cousin, Aunt’s oldest son, w.a.n.g’s family elder grandson. For unknown reasons, he loves to oppose me, say that I am not pleasing to his eyes. He is older than me by a year, he studies in Secondary three, I study in Secondary two, but we are in different schools.

The children of Aunt studies in the school in the fishing village, only I study in the town. Without the need to say, this is also an idea of mother’s, she thinks that the schools in town have a much better standard than the schools in the fishing village. And because of this, I have to cycle for at least half an hour to get to the distant school every day. She works in an air conditioned room and doesn"t know the struggle of having to cycle under the intense sun.

Every time I get home with a sweaty back, Wen Qiang had long ago, bathed, ate and would be comfortably lying down on the floor watching television. Upon seeing me home, he would also cynically talk to me, maybe he is jealous that I can go to a school in town. I don’t care a bit, if I had the choice, I would rather exchange schools with him.

During dinner, grandmother kept giving me a lot of vegetables on habit. Wen Hao and Wen Han would keep bugging Aunt to help them take food from the dishes; NaNa would complain about how the food is not for her appet.i.te while eating; and Wen Qiang would keep s.n.a.t.c.hing away the food that I want to take from the dishes……

This meal, I swallowed down all the words I wanted to say down my stomach.

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