In all those ten days I only saw Mr. Hamilton once, for on Sunday his seat in church had been vacant.
I was dressing little Jessie"s burns one morning, and talking to her cheerfully all the time, for she was a nervous little creature, when I heard his footstep outside. And the next instant he was standing beside us.
His curt "Good-morning; how is the patient, nurse?" braced my faltering nerves in a moment, and enabled me to answer him without embarra.s.sment.
He had his grave professional air, and looked hard and impenetrable. I had reason afterwards to think that this sternness of manner was a.s.sumed for my benefit, for once, when I was preparing some lint for him, I looked up inadvertently and saw that he was watching me with an expression that was at once sad and wistful.
He turned away at once, when he saw I noticed him, and I left the room as quickly as I could, for I felt the tears rising to my eyes. I had to sit down a moment in the porch to recover myself. That look, so sad and yearning, had quite upset me. If I had not known before, past all doubt, that Mr. Hamilton loved me, I must have known it then.
We met more frequently after this. Janet Coombe was dangerously ill, and Mr. Hamilton saw her two or three times a day. And, of course, I was often there when he came.
He dropped his sternness of manner after a time, but he was never otherwise than grave with me. The long, unrestrained talks, the friendly looks, the keen interest shown in my daily pursuits, were now things of the past. A few professional inquiries, directions about the treatment, now and then a brief order to me, too peremptory to be a compliment, not to over-tire myself, or to go home to rest,--this was all our intercourse. And yet, in spite of his guarded looks and words, I was often triumphant, even happy.
Outwardly, and to all appearance, I was left alone, but I knew that it was far otherwise in reality. I was most strictly watched. Nothing escaped his scrutiny. At the first sign of fatigue he was ready to take my place, or find help for me. Mrs. Saunders, the mistress of the Man and Plough, told me more than once that the doctor had been most particular in telling her to look after me. Nor was this all.
Once or twice, when I had been singing in the summer twilight, I had risen suddenly to lower a blind or admit Tinker, and had seen a tall, dark figure moving away behind the laurel bushes, and knew that it was Mr. Hamilton returning from some late visit and lingering in the dusky road to listen to me.
After I had discovered this for the third time, I began to think he came on purpose to hear me. My heart beat happily at the thought. In spite of his displeasure with me, he could not keep away from the cottage.
After this I sang every evening regularly for an hour, and always in the gloaming: it became my one pleasure, for I knew I was singing to him.
Now and then I was rewarded by a sight of his shadow. More than once I saw him clearly in the moonlight. When I closed my piano, I used to whisper "Good-night, Giles," and go to bed almost happy. It was a little hard to meet him the next morning in Janet"s room and answer his dry matter-of-fact questions. Sometimes I had to turn away to hide a smile.
Gladys"s first visit was very disappointing. But everything was disappointing in those days. She had her old hara.s.sed look, and seemed worried and miserable, and for once I had no heart to cheer her, only I held her close, very close, feeling that she was dearer to me than ever.
She looked in my face rather inquiringly as she disengaged herself, and then smiled faintly.
"I could not come before, Ursula; and you have never been to see me," a little reproachfully, "though I looked for you every afternoon. I have no Lady Betty, you know, and things have been worse than ever. I cannot think what has come to Etta. She is always spiteful and sneering when Giles is not by. And as for Giles, I do not know what is the matter with him."
"How do you mean?" I faltered, hunting in my work basket for some silk that was lying close to my hand.
"That is more than I can say," she returned pointedly. "Have you and Giles had a quarrel, Ursula? I thought that evening that you were the best of friends, and that--" But here she hesitated, and her lovely eyes seemed to ask for my confidence; but I could not speak even to Gladys of such things, so I only answered, in a business-like tone,--
"It is true that your brother does not seem as friendly with me just now; but I do not know how I have offended him. He has rather a peculiar temper, as you have often told me: most likely I have gone against some of his prejudices." I felt I was answering Gladys in rather a reckless fashion, but I could not bear even the touch of her sympathy on such a wound. She looked much distressed at my reply.
"Oh no, you never offend Giles. He thinks far too much of you to let any difference of opinion come between you. I see you do not wish me to ask you, Ursula; but I must say one thing. If you want Giles to tell you why he is hurt or distant with you,--why his manner is different, I mean,--ask him plainly what Etta has been saying to him about you."
I felt myself turning rather pale. "Are you sure that Miss Darrell has been talking about me, Gladys?"
"I have not heard her do so," was the somewhat disappointing reply, for I had hoped then that she had heard something. "But I was quite as sure of the fact as though my ears convicted her. I have only circ.u.mstantial evidence again to offer you, but to my mind it is conclusive. You parted friends that evening with Giles. Correct me if I am wrong."
"Oh no; you are quite right. Your brother and I had no word of disagreement."
"No; he left the house radiant. When he returned, which was not for an hour,--for he and Etta were out all that time in the garden, and they sent Lady Betty in to finish her packing,--he was looking worried and miserable, and shut himself up in his study. Since then he has been in one of his taciturn, unsociable moods: nothing pleases him. He takes no notice of us. Even Etta is scolded, but she bears it good-humouredly and takes her revenge on me afterwards. A pleasant state of things, Ursula!"
"Very," I returned, sighing, for I thought this piece of evidence conclusive enough.
"Now you will be good," she went on, in a coaxing voice, "and you will ask Giles, like a reasonable woman, what Etta has been saying to him?"
"Indeed, I shall do no such thing," I answered. And my cheek began to flush. "If your brother is ungenerous enough to condemn me unheard, I shall certainly not interfere with his notions of justice. Do not trouble yourself about it, Gladys. It will come right some day. And indeed it does not matter so much to me, except it keeps us apart."
Now why, when I spoke so haughtily and disagreeably, and told this little fib, did Gladys suddenly take me in her arms and kiss me most sorrowfully and tenderly?
"One after another!" she sighed. "Oh, it is hard, Ursula!" But I would not let her talk any more about it, for I was afraid I was breaking down and might make a goose of myself: so I spoke of Eric, and told her that I had written to Joe Muggins without success, and soon turned her thoughts into another channel.
CHAPTER x.x.xVII
"I CLAIM THAT PROMISE, URSULA"
It was soon after this that Uncle Max came home.
I met Mr. Tudor in the village one morning, and he told me with great glee that they had just received a telegram telling them that he was on his way, and an hour after his arrival he came down to the cottage.
Directly I heard his "Well, little woman, how has the world treated you in my absence?" I felt quite cheered, and told my little fib without effort:
"Very well indeed, thank you, Max."
It is really a psychological puzzle to me why women who are otherwise strictly true and honourable in their dealings and abhor the very name of falsehood are much addicted to this sort of fibbing under certain circ.u.mstances; for instance, the number of white lies that I actually told at that time was something fabulous, yet the sin of hypocrisy did not lie very heavily on my soul.
When I a.s.sured Uncle Max with a smiling face that things were well with me, his only answer was to take my chin in his hand and turn my face quietly to the light.
"Are you quite sure you are speaking the truth? You look rather thin; and why are your eyes so serious, little she bear?"
"It is such hot weather," I returned, wincing under his kindly scrutiny.
"And we--that is, I have had anxious work lately. I wrote to you about poor Janet Coombe. It is a miracle that she has pulled through this illness."
"Yes, indeed: I met Hamilton just now on his way to her, and he declared her recovery was owing to your nursing; but we will take that with a grain of salt, Ursula: we both know how devoted Hamilton is to his patients."
"He has saved her life," was my reply, and for a moment my eyes grew dim at the remembrance of the untiring patience with which he had watched beside the poor girl. It was in the sick-room that I first learned to know him,--when metaphorically I sat at his feet, and he taught me lessons of patience and tenderness that I should never forget until my life"s end.
When we had talked about this a little while, Max asked me rather abruptly when Captain Hamilton was expected. The question startled me, for I had almost forgotten his existence.
"I do not know," I returned uneasily, for I was afraid Max would think I had been remiss. "Lady Betty is away, and I have only seen Gladys twice since my return, and each time I forgot to ask her."
"Only twice, and you have been at home more than three weeks," observed Max, in a dissatisfied voice.
"I have been so engaged," I replied quickly, "and you know how seldom Gladys comes to the cottage. Max, do you know you have been here a quarter of an hour, and I have never congratulated you on your good fortune! I was so glad to hear Mrs. Trevor left you that money."
"I did not need it," he returned, rather gloomily. "I had quite sufficient for my own wants. I do not think that I am particularly mercenary, Ursula: the books and antiquities were more to my taste."
Max was certainly not in the best of spirits, but I did all I could to cheer him. I told him of Gladys"s improved looks, and how much her change had benefited her, but he listened rather silently. I saw he was bent on learning Captain Hamilton"s movements, and reproached myself that I had not questioned Gladys. I was determined that I would speak to her about her cousin the next time we met.
Max went away soon after this; he was rather tired with his journey, he said; but the next morning I received a note from him asking me to dine with him the following evening, as he had seen so little of me lately, and he wanted to hear all about the wedding.
Of course I was too glad to accept this invitation,--I always liked to go to the vicarage,--and this evening proved especially pleasant.