"It really looks like it. What are you doing, following us to get me to pay your bar bills? You going to hit me up for finance?"
"I don"t charge," he said bitterly. His face burned. "Go on. Out."
She stood up, stalked over, collected her clothes from the chair and started pulling them on-paused, sealing up the silver coveralls, and looked back at him.
"Probably I"d better pay your rent for the week," she said. "I think you"ve got troubles, Stevens. I think your combine"s going to have your head on a platter. You"re not going to turn a profit on this."
"Don"t bother yourself. I don"t want your money and I don"t want your help. I"ll handle my combine."
"Oh, sure, you"re going to explain how it all seemed a good idea at the time. This story"s going to be told over and over again, bigger every time it hits another station. How you did it to see me again, how you did it for a bet, how you took out of Viking the wrong direction and triplejumped solo through Tripoint, that you"re a Mazianni spotter or a Union spy with a hyped-up ship or an outright thief, and you know how much Dublin wants herself mixed into the story? The tale"ll get back to Viking without our help. They"ll hear it on Wyatt"s real early; they"ll hear it everywhere ships go... because they"re all here, every ship, every family, every Name in the Merchanter"s Alliance and then some. And Union military"s coming in to call. It"s going to spread. You understand that?"
He thought about that, with a chill feeling in his stomach. "So, well, then, it looks like I"ve got a bigger problem than you do, don"t I? I"m sure Dublin"s going to survive it"
"b.a.s.t.a.r.d."
"You came out on the dock, Reilly. That was your doing. I didn"t arrange it."
"I"ve no doubt you"d have come to Dublin asking for me. You used our name over com. What more did it lack?"
"Out."
"You"re flat broke, Stevens. Unless you"re carrying something under the plates. And they"ll look. You"re going to get your ship attached. At the least"
"I"ve got funds."
"What have you got?"
"Maybe it"s none of your business."
"You don"t. Not worth this trip."
"None of your business."
"Huh."
He stared at her, unwilling to fight it out. Watched her walk to the door-and stop. She stood there. Looked back finally, dropping her hand from the door switch. "You tell me," she said, "really why you pulled this."
"Like you said."
"Which?"
"Take your pick. I"m not going to argue the point."
"No. You tell me, Stevens, how you"re going to rig this. I really want to know."
He shrugged, sitting up, hooked his arm in the pillows and propped himself against the headboard. "I told you already what I"m going to do. It"s no problem."
"I think you"re in bad trouble."
"Nothing I can"t solve."
"So I"m flattered I made such an impression on you. But I"m not why you came. What made you?"
He tried a wry smile, reckoning he could hold it. "Well, it seemed reasonable at the time."
"I keep wanting to believe you. And I"m not getting any encouragement."
"I"m used to running solo," he said in a lingering silence. "It"s no big deal. I"ve jumped her alone and I"ve twojumped. She"s good, Lucy is. She kept up with your fancy Dublin, for sure. I"ll tidy it up with WSC when I get back to Viking. I wouldn"t mind seeing you, when."
She came back and sat down on the edge of the bed, leaned with her hand on his and looked into his face at too close an interval for comfortable pretenses. "Possibly," she said, "you can claim fatigue and they"ll let you out of this. Maybe it was just being out there too long."
"Thanks. I hadn"t thought of that one. I"ll try it."
"I"d guess you"d better try something. You are in trouble. Aren"t you?"
He said nothing.
"Stevens. If it is Stevens... How much truth have you told me? At any time?"
"Some."
"About what you are-how about that, for a start?"
He tried to shrug, which was not easy at close quarters. "I"m what I told you."
"You"re broke, aren"t you? And in a lot of trouble. I think maybe you thought I could finance you. I think maybe that"s what this is all about, that you really did come chasing after me- because you"ve overrun your margin at Viking, haven"t you; and maybe your company"s going to be asking questions-and now you"ve got a combine ship where she doesn"t belong."
"No."
"No?"
"I said no."
"You know, Stevens, I shouldn"t ask this, but it does occur to me that you just may not be combine."
He stared at her, at a frown which was not anger, his hold on his silence loosened for no good reason, but that she knew-he knew that she knew. She was headed back to her ship, to talk there, for certain.
"Not, are you?"
"No. I"m not. I"m-" His arm went out to stop her from bolting, but that shift had not been to get up, and he was left embarra.s.sed. "Look, WSC never noticed me. I made them money. I never cost them a credit..."
"Before now."
"I"ll put it back."
"You are a pirate."
"No."
"All right. So I wouldn"t sit here if I thought that. So you skim. I"m not sure I want to know the details." She heaved a sigh and turned to sit sideways on the bed, slammed her fist into her knee. "Blast."
"What"s that?"
"That"s wishing I minded my own business. So I know. So I can"t do anything about it. I"m not going to. You understand that? It"s worth no money to you, whatever you planned to get."
Heat rose to his face. "No. I"ll tell you the truth: it was getting tight there. Really tight. So you made me think of Pell, that"s all. I figure maybe I"ve got a chance here."
"Just like that."
"Just like that. That"s when I know to move. I feel the currents move and I go. It keeps me alive."
She stood up, thinking about the law: there was that kind of look on her face. Thinking about conscience, one way and the other. About police.
"I"ll tell you," he said, and rolled over on his side, searching for his clothes. He located them on the floor and sat up, swung his feet out of bed to dress. "Reilly-I don"t like it to go sour like this. I swear to you-any way you like-I know you"re worried about it. I don"t blame you. But that ship"s mine. And that"s the truth."
"I don"t want to listen to this. I"m Helm, you hear me, and I keep my hands clean. We"ve got our Name, and I swear to you, mister, you crowd me and I"ll protect it. I"m sorry for you. And I"ll believe what you"ve told me in the hope that once a day you do tell the truth, and that I don"t need to pa.s.s the word about you on the docks, but I don"t think I want to hear any more about it than I have. And I don"t think I"ll be meeting you elsewhere. I don"t think you"d better plan on that."
"You wait a minute. Just wait a minute." He pulled his clothes on, caught at disadvantage, zipped the plain coveralls and caught his breath and his dignity. "Listen-I"m sorry about that mess on the docks. It was crazy. I never-never intended that I didn"t expect them to be crazy here."
Pell Operations is always on vid.-You didn"t know that. You know how you sounded, coming in? Like a crazy man. Like someone crazy aiming a ship at the station; and then like somebody in trouble... it was on the news channel, and thousands of people were punching in on it. Misery, Stevens, it"s Pell. Alliance captains are coming in here, big Names, flash ships... Finity"s End and Little Bear, one after the other. Winifred. Pell folk know the Names. And some of these free souls don"t take to regulations and some of them have privilege with a capital P. When something comes in like you came-they appreciate style, these Pell stationers. And being stationers they"re just a little ignorant about what a stupid move you pulled and what dice you really shot out there at Tripoint You"ve got a death wish, Stevens. Deep down somewhere, you"re self-destructive; and you scare me. You"re trouble. To me. To yourself. To a system full of ships and a station full of innocent people who had the good-heartedness to worry about you after they realized you weren"t going to hit them. They think you did it on skill. On dockside they think something else. They think you"re an a.s.s, Stevens, and I"m embarra.s.sed for you, but I got you in here because I was stuck with you after that scene on the docks; because you at least had the conscience to warn Dublin when you risked our lives at Viking, and my Old Man called me in on the carpet and looked me right in the eye and asked me what you were. When this liberty"s over or before, I"m going to have to go on the carpet again and answer why I got Dublin involved with you. And I still don"t know."
He stood and took it. It was the truth. It was all the things that had shivered down his backbone when he came in. "I"ve done the like before," he said in a quiet voice. "I told you that Sometimes I"ve had to do it I"ve had no choice. I came in high in the range. But I miscalculated myself, not the ship; too long on the dock at Viking, too little sleep, too little food-I wasn"t fit for it; that, I admit to. But the solo runs-Lucy"s not Dublin. I bend the regulations. That"s how someone like me has to operate. You"ve got to sleep; you do it on auto, wherever you are. You"re redlighting and you"ve got to see to it; and you run on auto. And you have to know that, even on Dublin, you have to know that all those marginers like me, we"re running like that. It"s not neat and failsafed. I thought I could do it. And I did it on luck at the end, and I should have let you pa.s.s me at Viking. I wanted out of there. If I"d delayed my run when I had a clearance-there were questions possible. And I went, that"s all."
"And the interest in Dublin?""
He shrugged, arms folded.
"You make me nervous," she said.
"You. I wanted to see you."
She shook her head uneasily. "Most can wait for that privilege."
"Some don"t have that much time."
"What"s that supposed to mean?"
A second shrug, less and less comfortable. "I don"t stay in one place very long. And I"ll be gone again. I"ll stay low till you go. I think that"s about the best thing I can do under the circ.u.mstances. When you pull out, I"ll set about getting myself out of this. But no mention of Dublin. I promise that."
She stared at him sidelong, a good moment. "I"m not posted. You understand-my getting involved here-can keep me from being posted. Ever. It"s not a lark, Stevens. It was." She walked to the door, looked back. "I"ve got maybe ten thousand I can lay my hands on. I can maybe keep you clean here, if you take that and pay your dock charge and clear out of Pell. Understand me, it"s all I can get. I"ll be another year working off the last thousand of it But I want you off Dublin"s record. I don"t want you in trouble again until somewhere a long, long way off our trail."
He shook his head, his mouth gone dry. He hurt inside.
"Blast you, there"s nothing more you can get."
"I don"t want your money. I don"t want your help. I"ll take out of here. I can pay the dock charges, and I"ll take out."
"With what?"
"That three thousand. Maybe I can get a little cargo on the side. I"ve got, well, maybe a little more than that."
"How much worth of cargo?"
That"s my business. You answer questions to strangers about Dublin"s holds? I"d think not."
She set her jaw. "I want you out of here."
"Tell your Old Man I"m going."
"I"ll tell you you"re taking the ten thousand. You"re going out of Pell with some kind of a load, mine and yours together, that at least looks honest And you forget the debt. Don"t try to pay it. Don"t talk about it. Or me. Or I go to station authorities."
"I understand you," he said very quietly. "I"d take your ten. And I"d promise to get it back to you, but I don"t think you"d believe it. And it wouldn"t be the truth. You"re throwing it away, Reilly. I very much doubt I"m going to clear this dock at all."
"Someone here you know?"
"More than likely someone here that knows me. It"s the publicity, Reilly. I"m usually a lot quieter."
"What," she asked in a lowered voice, "can they get you for? What"s the worst?"
"Bad debts."
"Less than likely any merchanter would go to the police on that score. But something else-"
"I"m not one of the Names. They don"t know what I might be. A pirate. They could think that. But I"ll tell you the whole truth this time. I"ve got two thousand cash I"m not declaring. For dock-side deals.-And fourteen thousand worth of WSC money in gold under the plates. That"s why I ran out of Viking like my tail was afire.-Look, this stationer there, this clerk-I had to deal; he could have blown it all. It wasn"t my idea. So I have the money. I can pay dock charges and I can deal for cargo."
"With sixteen lousy contraband thousand?"
"You think ten more is going to help? No. And if they catch me, you can believe they"re going to inventory everything I"ve got; and they"d find me with more scrip than I"m supposed to have; and ten thousand in Pell currency, right? One question to comp and they"d have those serial numbers and a ten thousand transaction in your name. Take it from me. I know the routines."
"I"ll bet you do."
"So you keep it. Against my problems, it"s nothing, that ten. I"ll get out of it my way." He picked up his jacket and put it on, checked his papers in his pocket. "I"ll go take care of the finance, go to station offices. You just call it quits and go hang out with your cousins and say it"s all nothing. Find somebody else to sleep-over with and publicize it, fast. That"ll kill it I know how to cover a trail. That, too."
"I wish you luck," she said, sounding earnest. "You"ll need it"
He opened the door for her. Grinned, recovering himself. Thanks," he said, and walked out, ahead of her in the hall, hands in pockets, a deliberate spring in his step.
Time to visit Lucy. Time to go under the eyes of the powers that be on Pell and try to pull it out of the fire. Or at least get some of the heat off. Station offices would unseal her for him if he could eel his way past a customs agent who might want to do a thorough check in his presence.
Then to get out of Pell with as much cash as he could save. Maybe check the black market-there was always that. Change the name and number out at Tripoint, trade black market at the nullpoints and hope no one cut his throat. Buy another set of forged papers. If he could get out with money; and if... a thousand things. His mind began to work again more clearly, with Allison Reilly set behind him. With bleak realities plain on the table.
He looked back. She was there, at the door of the sleepover, just watching. A craziness had come on him for a time. Self-destructive: she was right. On the one hand he wanted to survive; and on the other he was tired of trying, and it was harder and harder to think his way through the maze... even to recall what lies he had told and how they meshed.
There were troops here too. He saw them... a jolt. Not the green or the black of Union forces, but blue. Alliance militia. He recalled the buildup at Viking and the rumors of pirate-hunting and had a presentiment of times changing, of loopholes within which it had been possible for marginers to survive-being tightened, suddenly, and with finality.
He had a record at every station in Union now; and soon a record with the Alliance; and he was almost out of places.
"What happened?" Curran asked, joining her in the shadow of the sleepover doorway, and Allison frowned at the intrusion. "Been there," Curran said with a nod toward the bar next door. "Some of us had a little concern for it... hung around. In case. What"s he up to? You know the Old Man"s going to ask."