Violet Evergaden: Chapter 11Please feel free to message me about possible corrections. If you can, support the creators by buying the official releases .
TheAuto-Memories Dolls’ holiday was ending peacefully.
How tospend the end of summer was mostly commonplace – watching the trees outside bythe windowsill during the morning, taking strolls with an umbrella around theneighborhood at noon, reading books under the shade of trees at evening, andpreparing for the next journey at night. When no one was looking, she woulddismantle and reconstruct guns, as well as throw knives at leaves falling fromtrees in order not to let her arms become lax. But essentially, she wasenveloped in serenity. That was the result of her adoptive mother’s influence intreating her like a child.
There werenot many who would purposefully attempt to break her silence in the firstplace. After all, she was someone who instilled the feeling of nervousness inothers. She had a reticent and cold beauty. She could cause time and people inher surroundings to naturally stop.
“Violet.You… are coming with me.”
She was notsomeone suitable to invite to play.
The Flying Letters and the Auto-Memories Doll(Part 1)
Located ina narrow street away from the main avenue of Leidenschaftlich’s capitol city,Leiden, a lone building protruded, reigning amongst several small shops linedup together. The CH Postal Service was a fairly new company that had justentered the mail industry.
A spirewith a light green dome-shaped roof and a weather-bird on top could beconsidered the mark of said postal company. Surrounding the spire was a darkgreen roof, and the outer walls were made of red bricks that had been sunburnedinto a tasteful hue. On the arch-shaped entryway, where the agency’s name was printedonto a steel plate in golden letters, there was a bell that produced a merrysound whenever the doors were opened, so as to announce the arrival ofcustomers. Inside the building, a counter could be seen right upon entry, whichwas specifically the reception desk of delivery items.
There werethree floors; the first one was the postal reception, the second was the officeand the spire of the third floor was the president’s residence. Currently, onthe second floor, the employees of the office were challenging themselves whileworking desperately.
There was adate called the “closing day” in the company. During it, all transactions,reports related to them, invoices, proofs of payment and everything else involvingthe operation of the company were neatly cleared up for the month. For theclerks, it was a day of painful battling, as the closing work was added to theirregular work.
“You said we’d go together, that you’d take methere…”
Amidst thescene of arduous fighting stood a young woman, directing a reproachful anddepressed gaze at Hodgins. She tightly held onto the hem of her clothes and bither lip as if to a.s.sert, “I am p.i.s.sed”.
She was abeautiful woman with long dark hair and full of mature appeal. She wore an openbustier, which displayed her rich chest without any reserve whatsoever and wasconnected to her shoulder-to-elbow charcoal-gray inner garment. She also had ona beads choker, a pendant, bangles, hand chain bracelets and rings made of preciousmetals. Her leather hot pants were dyed blue and had golden cross-st.i.tches. Herembroidery thread garter belt consisted of geometrical patterns and decoratedonly the bare skin from the middle of her tights to her knee-high boots. Shewas a person whose everything, from her outfit to her glossy beauty, was poisonto the eyes. However…
“No way, noway! If you’re not taking me, I don’t want to go.”
…heractions were that of a child. She was stomping her feet.
“No, Imean, even if you say that, Cattleya…” Claudia Hodgins, the president of theCH Postal Service, smiled stiffly at that att.i.tude. “Look at this mountain of paperwork.It feels like it’s gonna hit me.”
OnHodgins’s desk lay a pile of forms bearing a menace that really did seem as ifthey were about to hit him. He was applying stamps on them while speaking. His examinationand approval were definite requirements for the various doc.u.ments made byclerks. Perhaps because he blindly trusted the clerks, or because he lacked thewill to read, he was simply pushing the papers over without confirming theircontents.
“PresidentHodgins, give the doc.u.mentation to me once you are done with it. Please take alook at these too.”
Theconversation was interrupted. A stack of paperwork was added to the pile.
“Ah, sorry,Little Lux. Did you confirm all of them?”
The one whohad come in-between Cattleya and Hodgins was a girl with an innocent face. Shehad lavender-gray hair trimmed slickly above her shoulders. Although she woregla.s.ses, upon a closer look, one would be able to see that the color of hereyes was different on each side. It was a conservative stereotype, but the scarfaround her neck and gold berretta attached to the side of her head were subtle traitsof a professional lady.
“I did. Theones revised have tags on them. Please check them.”
Lux Sibyl,the girl who used to be worshipped as a demiG.o.d by a religious group in anisolated island, was now working uprightly at the CH Postal Service.
“Thank you.My secretary is the best. Even as an understatement, I love you.”
Lux repliedwith a hopeless expression to the lady-killer wink shot at her, “Enough offlattery, just please get your… get your arm moving. If only I had stoppedyou that time… Going on a trip with a stage actress… It was so obvious thatyou’d soon break up anyways… That time… if only I…”
“How cruel.You just hurt my heartbroken self even more, Little Lux…”
“If only Ihad made you do your work even if I had to tie you up, this wouldn’t have…”
Since hissecretary acted as though she had become involved with some incident and wasinconsolable, Hodgins regained his seriousness. “I’m sorry. I’ll buy a stampingmachine.”
Lux thenspoke to Cattleya as if imploring, “And Cattleya. Please… don’t try to doanything to stop President Hodgins. Everyone’s clocking-out depends onPresident Hodgins’s progress. I want to go home as soon as possible today…”
The clerks thatwere silently doing their jobs nodded in unison at Lux’s words. For them, the timethey would be set free from the office on that day was an extreme matter oflife and death. Cattleya had been pretending not to notice it, but aconcentrated pressure from withering occasional stares and voice tones piercedher back with an unsaid “those who intend to meddle should leave”.
“What’swith that…? Acting so arrogant just because you’re the secretary. President’ssecretary… how unfair. I wanna be a secretary too.”
“Cattleya,you’re an Auto-Memories Doll, right? Isn’t that better? ‘Acting arrogant’, yousay… I was just stating that you may be on your day off, but we are in themiddle of work.”
Despitehaving a young appearance, on the inside, Lux had grown into a completelycapable secretary. After having fled from the religious organization, she didher best to repay Hodgins and the company that had taken her in.
“President,leave the snacks for when you’re done with the doc.u.ments.”
Hodgins’shand, which had been attempting to take something from his desk’s drawer, retracted.
“What’swith that? What’s with that? What’s with that?! This is because days off aren’tdefined for Auto-Memories Dolls, so there’s no helping it, right?”
Cattleyawas willing to continue the quarrel, but before she realized it, Lux wasanswering the phone. The look in the latter’s eyes said “sorry about that”.
“I get it.”
It wasobvious at first glance that everyone in the company was busy. She was alsoaware that she was disturbing them.
Nevertheless,not aiming to give up, the Auto-Memories Doll Cattleya showed a printedpamphlet to Hodgins, who had turned into the aforementioned stamping machine. “Butit’s only once a year… that we can go see the ‘Flying Letters’. I… Ialready wrote a letter, and I didn’t invite anyone else because the Presidentsaid he would be taking me. I don’t want to go by myself. Attending a festivalall alone… isn’t that like a punishment?”
The words “SeventhAeronautical Exhibition” were written in it. Said exhibition would be held inthe maneuvering area of Leidenschaftlich’s army’s Air Force. It seemed toconsist of aerial maneuver demonstrations and public displays of the army andthe navy’s aircrafts, as well as private ones gathered by volunteers. The “FlyingLetters” that Cattleya had talked about was one of the programs. So-called “lettersof encouragement to whomever picks them”, collected from civilians, would be scatteredfrom the sky by elite pilots chosen from the army and navy. It was a romanticevent, in which the partic.i.p.ants were stimulated to send inspirational messagesto the strangers that would pick their letters, as well as to themselves. Itwas the only festival on the continent in which letters fell from the sky. Asthe description stated that the sixth exhibition had happened several years before,it seemed the festival had been canceled for some time due to intensified wars.
She broughtthe pamphlet closer as if to make him kiss it, causing Hodgins to sneeze.
“See, Iwant to go too, Cattleya. But I had forgotten that today was the closingday…”
Cattleya’seyebrows withdrew. Her amethyst orbs swerved with sadness. Her att.i.tude wassimilar to a pup crying dejectedly.
A feelingof guilt grew within Hodgins. “Don’t make such a face, my cute lady. Thefestival involved in the exhibition will go on until nighttime, so I can joinon the way. I mean, I also want to let the employees clock out early and go tothe festival. But we won’t make it in time for the Flying Letters… I think. Well,I don’t know, but yeah, most likely.”
“I will…be alone until then?”
“Benedict…is… in the middle of deliveries.”
“Never mindhim. Why are you mentioning his name?” Her face going red, Cattleya attemptedto overturn Hodgins’s desk. It was a strength that could never be imagined tocome from those slender arms.
Hodginshastily held back the desk. “Calm down, Cattleya. I get it. The only otheravailable person close to your age is… Little Lux. Show me the businessschedule of the employees.”
Althoughshe was in the middle of a phone call, Lux handed Hodgins a notebook whiletalking cheerfully. The operational plans of the employees were registered init.
Hodginsgrinned. It was because he had found someone who seemed to be in a convenientcondition. “Aah, Little Violet is off-duty.”
“Eh?” Aslight rejection could be noted in Cattleya’s voice.
The mansionwas located beyond a path of trees. Reigning among flowerbeds of extravagantcolors with plants of several varieties in a luxurious and carefully tendedlawn, as well as a farm growing seasonal vegetables, was the Evergardenresidence, of which Patrick Evergarden was the current head. It was closer tobeing a castle than a manor. It had chalky white walls and an ultramarine roof.Its architecture was elegant and well-balanced, wholly symmetrical on bothsides, from the spires to the windows.
As agardener sighted Cattleya’s figure while she pa.s.sed by, he shouted, “MissCattleya Baudelaire, right?”
Due toHodgins talking to them in advance, the gardener had accompanied her from thegates to the mansion, and once she reached the porch, a butler had welcomedher.
“She will behere soon.”
As shewaited with nothing to do in an anteroom, before long, Violet Evergardenappeared, just as the butler had said.
“Cattleya…?”
It was not onlybecause the ma.s.sively thick red carpet tended to erase footsteps. Violet had showedherself without making a sound, dressed differently from her usualAuto-Memories Doll outfit. Hair was loosely tied to one side and a flower hairornament dangled next to her face. The word “lovely” was perfect for her neat whiteone-piece with blue flower patterns. The small flowers were not simplydispersed, but had been designed to fall all the way down from the top of theshoulders and middle of the chest. As Leidenschaftlich’s climate was still warmeven though it was the ending of summer, it seemed that one would be fine withjust a dress, yet she wore a dark blue cardigan. It was probably meant to hide herartificial arms. The same old brooch stood on her chest.
“Heh, soyou normally dress like this. It’s kinda like a… little lady? Pretty cute.How nice.”
Violetreplied, “It is my foster mother’s taste. More importantly, did somethinghappen?” Her blue eyes seemed to say, “What is the matter that caused you tocome all the way to my house? Answer quickly.”
“Yeah,kinda…”
Cattleyarecalled her conversation with Hodgins. The hand that had been applying stampshad stopped for once, and he had told her how to coax Violet, who was someone shroudedin mystery, “Listen, if you’re going to persuadeLittle Violet… you gotta say that… it’s a mission given to her by me.”
He hadseemed confident. Indeed, Violet gave off an impression of obedience andchast.i.ty whenever she spoke to Hodgins. However, that was in a different mannerthan how she probably treated other people.
——Honestly, this girl is so strange.
Cattleyaknew she was a former soldier. She had belonged to Leidenschaftlich’s armyalong with Hodgins, the man Cattleya loved dearly. Amongst the members thatHodgins, who was already an odd one himself, had gathered to work at CH PostalService, it was not so unlikely to have someone with a past of being an ex-militantin her personal history.
However,even without taking her history into consideration, Violet was a shady existence.
She nevershowed a smile. Her speech was polite, yet she never once flattered anyone. Withthat, she put a distance between herself and others, but did not show any signsof despising loneliness, and was almost as a beautiful, heartless ent.i.ty madeof ice. That was how Cattleya saw her.
“You… know…this… is something that had already been decided.”
That waswhy she was anxious as to whether those magical words would have effect. Wouldshe listen to the order of anyone that not Hodgins? Even if she did listen,would they have a fun time?
——Still, that’d be better than going to thefestival alone.
Rea.s.suringher purpose, Cattleya opened her mouth, “Violet. You… are coming with me.It’s a mission that President Hodgins gave you. Until the President joins me,accompany me to the Aeronautical Exhibition.”
After shespoke authoritatively, a few seconds of silence ensued.
Thestraight-laced, taciturn, unsociable-looking and beautiful ice girl blinked,her long lashes going up and down, many times before inquiring with a face thatseemed to express a question mark, “A… mission?”
“Yes, amission.”
“Is it…really a mission?”
Cattleyaaverted her gaze from the reflection of her own fl.u.s.tered figure in Violet’slimpid blue orbs. “I-If… you think it’s a lie, you can ask President aboutit.”
“No. Todayis the closing day and he must be busy, so I will refrain from making phonecalls. I understand. If it is a mission requested by the President, I willaccept it.” Along with being concerned about the closing day, unlike Cattleya,she had the consideration of an adult for the workplace.
As shereceived consent, Cattleya soon became nervous. She had a feeling that she wastalking to a machine, a fairy, or perhaps a ghost – some sort of indefiniteexistence that she could not reach a mutual understanding with.
“Hey, willyou really go with me?”
“Yes.”
“Really,really?”
“Really,really.”
“You…kinda don’t feel like you’re alive, but you are, right?”
“I am.”
“I’m justasking this as a matter of course, but the President is very attached to you,so are you lovers?”
“That isnot it.”
“What do youthink of Benedict?”
“Benedict? Hehas high-rank combat abilities, and also has surprisingly leadership skills.”
They werequite rude questions, yet Violet answered them seriously without showing signsof minding it. Cattleya immediately became lively with the various replies. Shelet the joy take over her and started jumping on the spot.
“I’msatisfied that our interests are consistent. Since it’s settled, go get ready!Tell the people of the house that you’re going out. Also, Violet, get a writingpaper, envelope and fountain pen too. We’ll partic.i.p.ate in the Flying Letters,after all.”
“‘FlyingLetters’… If I am correct, that was one of the custom programs of aerialdisplays presented to the public by the army and navy, right?”
As expectedof a former soldier, she was knowledgeable.
Cattleyaasked if she had ever partic.i.p.ated, and Violet mutely shook her head. “I havenever watched it, but I have been told about it as a piece of information…”
Just whohad been the one to tell her? Violet did not reveal it.
“Cattleya,is there nothing else necessary other than the writing paper and etcetera? Do Ihave permission from President Hodgins to carry arms?”
“There’s noneed for weapons. What’s with you? That’s scary.”
“You saidit was a mission, so that came out on automatic.”
Violet didnot understand the limits of things, and Cattleya was sometimes perplexed byher, but thankfully, the two of them were able to go outside together.
The maneuveringarea of Leidenschaftlich’s army’s Air Force was located far away from the capitolcity, Leiden. The directions to it were not too difficult. The easiest way to getfrom capitol to it was either through riding shared horse carriages or trucks.When getting off at the stop, a forested area surrounded by trees would be onsight. It was a place so full of greenery that it would cause people that wereaccustomed to cities to become worried for a second as to where they had endedup, but there was nothing to fear. Crossing a paved forest road while relyingon signboards, they would shortly arrive at the maneuvering area, theirdestination.
The entryof ordinary citizens was prohibited during normal times, but there were norestrictions during the Aeronautical Exhibition. Authorized eating and drinkingbusinesses established their shops around the exercise grounds and formed linedstalls. The military facility changed completely and turned into a place offestivities.
In thevenue a.s.sembled men and women of all ages. Families of people involved in the armyand navy personnel, general partic.i.p.ants, avid airplane lovers who had comefrom distant places yearning to see the aerial displays, and many others. Therewere mostly males in the male-female ratio. Young girls like Violet andCattleya could be considered minorities.
“Amazing,it’s so big. They normally practice here too… Look! Fighters? Are thosefighters?” Cattleya did not hide her surprise at the warplanes being exhibited.
“That’s areconnaissance plane, the Ptarmigan.” Meanwhile, Violet gave the exact name ofthe units. “Both the army and the navy each have Air Forces, but from the namesof the planes, one can tell right away which of the two they belong to. Thearmy names theirs after birds. It seems the navy names theirs after seaanimals.”
The mysterious,beautiful women eagerly discussing about warplanes appeared peculiar to someextent.
Since the maneuverarea usually functioned as a full-fledged military facility, there were many barredzones. Seeing the s.p.a.ce of the venue as a rectangular box, the exhibition ofthe military aircrafts was happening in the outskirts of its center.Surrounding it was a hangar, a stand-by spot for the army’s vehicles, a generalresting place for civilians, the actual headquarters of the Aeronautical Exhibitionand a control tower built on its rooftop, hidden by a tent. Its inside couldnot be seen at all. A fence was laid around the headquarters and the controltower at a wide distance from both, and that whoever was not part of thepersonnel was completely forbidden of entry.
One of the AeronauticalExhibition’s highlights, which was a live coverage by the army’s publicity, wastaking place at the headquarters.
“Pleaselook at the front of the venue. Six fighters, the Sea Snakes, are raiding in. Theyare changing from a one-row line to a diamond-shaped battle formation. Do payattention to this well-coordinated flight.”
The navyfighters flew over the maneuver area and pa.s.sed by while showing off splendidflight techniques. As they soared, white smoke was left behind in the blue sky asa proof of their pa.s.sage.
“The firstpilot is Jude Bradburn from Leidenschaftlich’s Leiden. The second pilot isHenry Gardner from Bregand!”
All attendeeslooked up at the sky and cheered. An orchestra played music along with the heatedcommentaries, further enhancing the atmosphere in the place.
Cattleyaopened the pamphlet she had acquired in advance and confirmed the show time ofthe aircrafts currently on demonstration. Things seemed to be progressingaccording to the prescribed schedule. The Flying Letters were due afterwards.
She grabbedViolet, whose eyes had been stolen by the aerial maneuvers of the fighteraircrafts, by the arm. “Hey, looks like the collecting of the Flying Letters willtake a while, so let’s buy something at the stalls and watch it while eating.It seems the flight exercises will go on non-stop. Violet, is there anythingyou wanna eat?”
“So we areensuring our meals? If that is the case, is it not better to go for somethingfitting to be conserved rather than prioritize its taste?”
Withoutlooking at Cattleya, Violet was moving her neck as to follow the units inflight. Cattleya stirred a finger close to her. As Violet turned her head, hercheek was spontaneously stabbed by said finger. It felt flaccid.
“Violet,look at me.”
Althoughthe arm Cattleya had grasped was rigid, the cheek was soft.
——She’s enigmatic, and a bit creepy.
However,Cattleya was somewhat relieved. It was because she had come to know that girlalso had soft parts.
“Pleasestop.”
She becamehappy to earn a reaction from Violet, even though it was resistance. “Don’twanna. That’s punishment for not looking my way. Hey, I feel you’remisunderstanding it; even though this is a mission, it’s also for fun. We don’tneed conserved food.”
“‘Fun’…?”
“Don’tyou… sometimes seem like you’re having fun with Lux? See, with tea and all.”
“Aah, yes.We have tea together.”
“That’s it.You’re gonna do that with me. We’re gonna eat, chat, and partic.i.p.ate in thefestival. It seems everyone from the company will be done with work in a bit,so we’ll join them afterwards.”
“This is…a mission, is it not?”
“It’s amission. A great mission. A super great mission.” Cattleya forcefully madeViolet, who was making emphases and seeking confirmation, walk in the directionof the stalls.
“I wouldlike tangible content details on exactly what sort of mission ‘having fun’ is.”
“You’retalking kinda difficult; you aren’t used to having fun, right? That’s fine,this big sis will teach it to you.”
Violetstared at their joined hands as if it were something mysterious. Even so, shedid not shake and disentangle hers, simply following behind Cattleya like aninfant bird.
The duovisited the food stalls from one end to another of the fair, buying enough tobe almost unable to carry everything in their arms and sharing it with eachother. They softly narrowed their eyes upon observing children run after theflying fighters, harshly waved off men who carefreely called out to them forbeing two unaccompanied women, and appreciated the commentaries from the army’spress while applauding the several warplanes pa.s.sing by. They also had personalexperiences with playground equipment, such as merry-go-rounds and darts, at aso-called emigrational amus.e.m.e.nt park, blending with the children. AlthoughCattleya had primarily been on guard regarding Violet, whose personality shehad been unable to understand, she was able to think of ways to enjoy herselfwith the latter due to her characteristic amicability and liveliness.
“Cattleya,please wait. Cattleya.”
“Hey, thisis delicious. Really delicious. Okay, open your mouth.”
“I do not wishto eat.”
“It’s amission, so open your mouth.”
“Are younot just thinking I will go along with anything if you say it is a mission?”
“Aaahn.Hey, it’s gonna fall. It will be your fault if it does.”
She was surprisingly weak to pressure, andtherefore, Cattleya probably thought she was cute as a girl younger thanherself whom she was taking along on her stroll. Acting as an older sister,too, was something comfortable for Cattleya.
After playing for a while, the two of themdecided to take a break. Even though it was the ending of summer, exposure tosunlight for a long time outside caused increased fatigue. They sat on a benchat the general resting place, which was covered by a large tent that blockedthe Sun so the civilians could cool down. They were able to watch the flightdrills from there.
“Still not done?”
“We do not know the precise destination ofthese letters. Moreover, they must be of encouragement. This calls theabilities of an Auto-Memories Doll into question.”
Violet was writing for the Flying Letters. Thegathered messages would be handed over to the pilots and scattered by airplanesfrom above the venue. Propeller-type light planes that would serve as theletters’ deliverers had already begun collecting them. The people in charge becamethe center of attention, women and children swarming over them all at once.That was possibly because their fuselage of a strong yellow color shonestrikingly against the blue sky.
Having nothing to do as she had finishedwriting her letter, Cattleya decided to prod her nose into Violet’s. The otherwas gradually becoming better at writing mails.
Seeking responsiveness, Cattleya pouted. “Hey,n.o.body will know who wrote it, so you can just say whatever you like.”
“This is no good. I will redo it.” Violet tuckedthe letter she had just written into an envelope. She took out a new writingpaper, but looked unable to write a single character. “What did you write,Cattleya?”
As she was apparently being asked forinstructions, Cattleya answered while puffing out her ample bosom even more,“‘You are lucky for picking up my letter! Something good will definitely happento you. Even if it doesn’t, it’s not like you will die’.”
“Is this what you wrote?”
“Yeah.”
That seemed to be very much like Cattleya.However, it appeared not to work as advice for Violet.
“What~? Do you not write letters outside ofwork or something? Is it really that troubling?”
“I have long stopped writing personal letters.I only write at work.”
Although it only happened for an instant,Cattleya was taken by the slight change in Violet’s expression. She was alreadysomeone with a disposition for getting close to others, but diminished thedistance between herself and Violet even more. “This topic looks interesting.Why is that? Tell me.”
Violet moved away. Cattleya came closer. Violetmoved away again. In the end, the two of them wound up perfectly glued to eachother at a corner of the bench.
“Why should I?”
“Because it seems appealing. Why did you stopwriting? Shall I try guessing? The addressee was a man, right? And also someonespecial. The kind of man you’re interested in the most, save for a parent orsibling.”
“How did you know the gender?” Violet gazeddirectly at Cattleya for the first time.
“Your clients and mine are different. Mycustomers are… mostly young women writing love letters. This is also theso-called ‘maidens in love’. It’s people who want to know what they should doto have a boy on the palm of their hand. Or guys who don’t understand women andwant to know what they should do to make a girl look their way. I’m often askedfor tips.”
“Is it not enough to simply poke her shoulderand call her name?”
“It’s not in that sense.” Cattleya flicked Violet’sforehead with her finger. “Hey, what kind of person was he? The one you like, Imean.”
“That… is not the… case.”
“Then, do you hate him?”
“There… there is no way…”
Cattleya was unable to suppress a smile.
——What do I do? She’sso fun to tease.
Violet Evergarden – a mysterious,straight-laced and expressionless taciturn. A woman made of iron, who neverhesitated. She was crumbling at a single sentence from Cattleya.
“Then, isn’t there no option other than like? It’snot… the normal kind, right? That’s not what your face is saying. Don’tunderestimate me. I make money out of including love consultations in myamanuensis job.”
Violet opened and closed her mouth, eyesdarting to many directions, which showed she was at a loss.
——She’s like a dollthat has just been given a heart. How weird.
Cattleya knew nothing of Violet’s past, andtherefore merely treated her as what she was – a teenage girl.
“Hey. I said ‘hey’.”
She only wished to get along with her.
“Hey, what kind of person was he?”
She was alienated of the effects of her actionson Violet. She believed what lay inside the box that she was attempting to openwas a gemstone.
“What do you call him?”
But what resided in Violet Evergarden’sheart…
“‘Major’.”
…could not be compared…
“‘Major’. Isn’t that cool? So he’s a soldier.You’re an ex-soldier, after all. How old is Major? What about his looks?”
…to a gemstone.
“I never asked. He was most likely about tobecome thirty years old.”
“No way. He’s much older than you. So the agedifference between you is… about the same as with the President?”
Violet had not talked about that person for along time.
“His hair was dark, but of a different shadethan yours, Cattleya…”
She had described how he was as an individualbefore, but had never dug too deeply. Although he was someone that both she andClaudia Hodgins had in common, the two of them avoided touching the subjectaround one another.
Violet averted her eyes from the paper that shehad not yet written anything in to the crowd. Soldiers wearing the purplishblack uniform that she also used to were part of it. Even though the war wasover, the skies had cleared and she no longer lived in the days when she didnot know how to write a single word, that mult.i.tude and the sound of militaryshoes brought her back to the time that she had spent in a city of lanterns.
Forever and ever, the person she pursued wasonly one.
“He had emerald green eyes…”
He was a tremendously beautiful being.
“He took me in, raised and used me.”
The two of them were a tool and her master.
“But, he is not here anymore.”
Although she was his tool, she had not managedto protect him.
“Gilbert is dead.” Hodgins’s words replayed in Violet’s head overand over, accompanied by a heaviness and agony similar to that of a curse.
“Did Majorgo somewhere far away?”
“Yes. Hehas gone far away. He has… not returned.”
“Are youstill waiting?”
“Yes.”
AtCattleya’s questions, willingly or not, Violet wound up thinking…
“I amwaiting.”
…aboutthe answer to the words of that day, which she did not give, resisting it whileclaiming she did not understand it.
“I havebeen… repeatedly told to stop doing so. However, no matter what, I… I…”
“I love you.”
“I love you, Violet.”
“Are you… listening?”
“I… like you.”
“Violet, ‘love’… is…”
“‘To love’ is… thinking you want to protectsomeone the most in the world.”
“…endup… waiting for Major to come.” Her face was of someone enduring pain.
That wasthe moment Violet showed her most humane expression out of the ones Cattleyahad witnessed. A small transformation had occurred within that awkward girl. Itwas a quiet move, which people with abundant emotions would not consider amanifestation of feelings.
——Aah.
Arealization dawned within Cattleya. They were not yet intimate. Not friends,either. It was not as if she knew anything about Violet, but she felt as thoughshe had come to.
——He took most of the happy parts of her heartwith him. Is that why she doesn’t have so much emotion? Cattleya speculated.
“You…have a crush on someone who isn’t here anymore.”
Unlike whatshe had imagined, the bush that Cattleya had been p.r.i.c.king was actually theentryway to a deep forest.
“‘Crush’?”
The youngwoman wandering inside said forest was not even aware of how she had becomelost in it – she had a blindfold on and did not know how to take it off, leftalone to live through fumbling around. Cattleya thought of it as a pity. Inreality, that was not a conversation they should be having at such a place.
“What is…a ‘crush’?”
That dollwhose heart had been taken away – her colleague who was younger than herself – didnot know what infatuation was.
“No, it’slove already.”
“‘Lo-ve’…?”
Themaneuver area was more crammed than when the two of them had arrived. The crowdwas increasingly more frantic. Cattleya pointed at the people walking by. Theywere all of differing genders and ages. Each led lives packed with hardshipsthat could not be seen through naked eye.
“There aremany types of it: fraternity, friendship, siblinghood, companionship. Yours isromantic love.”
Harmoniouscouples that served as examples of it were everywhere. The world overflowedwith romance in a natural manner.
Yet Violetdenied it. She shook her head, furrowing her brows and biting her lip. “I…cannot… fall in love.” She obstinately negated.
“You did,though.”
“No, Icannot. I do not understand it.”
As seenfrom the sides, they probably appeared to be having an argument. It was not afight, yet neither of them backed a single step. One claimed it was love. Theother claimed it was not. Both were running counter.
Thoughsteeped in irritation, Cattleya still refused to give in. “Even I… can’t sayfor certain what something like that is. Love is uncertain, and I don’t get theromantic one very well. But I can tell when it happens. People in love wouldalso be able to tell if they saw you. Your love is that type. Even if it’stowards a person you’re unable to meet…”
Once thewords “a person you’re unable to meet” spilled from Cattleya’s mouth, Violet’sblue eyes quivered in sorrow. Hearing them from someone else weighed much morethan saying them to herself. The expression she sometimes had on was one thatwould cause anybody to admonish her with a, “See, you’re making a face like that,so how come?”
“No, Icannot. I really… cannot… Major has…” still, Violet rebuffed it. Her longblond lashes were down. As Violet hung her head, her gaze went towards herchest.
As always,her emerald green brooch lay there. It sparkled brilliantly, never fading.
“Majorhas…”
Eventhrough springs of dazzling moonbows, summers of early rains, autumns of raginggold-leaf winds or winters of congealing frosty nights, just like the existenceof the man named Gilbert Bougainvillea that resided within Violet, it wouldnever fade.
“Major haspa.s.sed away.” The words she whispered in that very instant were exceedinglycruel.
The clock needlebetween Cattleya and Violet stopped for once. That did not happen in actuality,but the two of them did not make a single movement, as if time had truly cometo a halt. Their blinking and breathing was mowed by the world’s time axis fora second.
Once timefinally started flowing again, Cattleya could only give a staggered reply, “E-Eh?”Her voice squeaked.
“He isdead. I was unable… to protect him… so Major… died. Even though I was histool, shield and sword.”
Cold sweatslowly traveled down Cattleya’s back.
——Her heart was stolen… not by someone who’sjust not around, but that is dead?
“That’s ajoke, right?” Cattleya asked, but received no response from Violet. She failedan attempt to force a smile, which came out as a half-laugh. Her face twitched.At the indelicacy of the things that she had been saying until that point, herbreath caught in her throat and she could not properly swallow her saliva. “Violet,did this person… die in the Great War?”
“Yes.”
“For real?”
“So I wastold. This brooch… remained with me as a relic.”
Ever sinceCattleya had first met her, that object had been twinkling on her chest. Shehad witnessed Violet touching it every now and then with her artificialfingertips countless times. She had always wondered if it was some sort ofprotection charm.
There was alot more that she had wanted to say in a rapid succession, yet her att.i.tude wasunwittingly precautious. Something buzzed within her. “But, you… don’t…believe that… right?” A thrill similar to an unpleasant presentiment crawledits way through Cattleya’s entire body.
For Violet,the response to that question could be a taboo.
“Hey,answer seriously.”
As sheremained silent, her profile, which Cattleya used to only see as dispa.s.sionate,was now reflected in the latter’s eyes as something solitary. “I…”
Theunpleasant disruption creeped through Cattleya’s entire being, and she wishedso badly to spit it out that she could not stand it. “You… don’t believe it,right? You did say… that you were waiting for him.” She wanted to know theanswer.
“But,President Hodgins has—”
“It’s fine;tell me what you yourself think.”
“Yes…”just as a criminal accepting a conviction, Violet confessed her sin, “Ibelieve… that Major… is alive.”
Just forhow long had she continuously thought about that? Perhaps she had been in suchstate ever since being informed of his death. Even as she lamented in anguish,even as she attempted to destroy the hope that kept her attached to reality,she might still have denied it all, telling herself that he was alive.
“You… you…”
“What theh.e.l.l are you doing?” was what Cattleya wanted to scream.
Romanticallyyearning for someone who was far away and blindly loving someone who wasdeceased were two different things. Just like with Violet and Cattleya,physical distance could be overcome with effort. However, the dead could neverreturn.
“Whatyou’re saying… is the same as getting your arms back!”
Simplyspending her time unreasonably through doing something so fruitless, neverallowing anyone else to love her beautiful self and believing in thesubsistence of a dead person was a waste, and Cattleya wanted to lecture herinto stopping right away. There were subst.i.tutes both for her arms and for theman of her affections.
“Do youplan to live like this forever from now on? You, Violet…”
“I amaware.” Violet said right away. “It is useless. There is no meaning to it.There is no gain in it. But without Major, I am the same. I have no meaning.”
“Would itbe no good if it were someone else? Even if it’s hard now, he will definitelybecome just a memory one day, so while there’s still time…”
“No… no.”It was almost as though she were proclaiming war against everything that lived,“Major Gilbert Bougainvillea is the only one for me.”
Cattleyastiffened with her mouth agape. Perhaps because a popular unit had pa.s.sed by inthe sky above, cheers rose in their surroundings.
It was asif she was there, yet not. That was the bizarre feeling that those strong blueorbs brought about.
——What’s… with this girl? How can she manageto make people this sad, as if cutting them open?
Her valueswere differed too much from Cattleya’s. Feelings that had nowhere to go swirledwithin her chest painfully.
“Iunderstand that this conduct of mine makes people uncomfortable.”
What didshe have to live through to develop so much stubbornness?
“Please doignore me. Please… leave me be.”
“You’re…an idiot, right?”
Even if itwere criticized as futile and she were stigmatized as irrational for manyyears, she would most likely continue to believe it. Even with someone tellingher “it’s no use; quit it”, she would merely cover her ears.
“Yes. I aman idiot… and a fool.”
She onlydesired one person.
Cattleyaslapped her own forehead with one hand and growled like a dog. Thinking toomuch got her extremely heated-up, and her head started to hurt. She wascurrently even more feverish than when coming up with sentences duringamanuensis activities.
——This is no good.
Violet hadalways, always carried a wish.
——Even someone not sosmart like me can tell.
“I want tosee you, I want to see you”.
——This is like threatening to push down a childcrying by a cliff.
She hadbeen praying while firmly grasping her brooch.
——I can’t blame her.
Such idiocywas Violet Evergarden herself.
Cattleyasaid bitterly, as if vomiting a silver poison, “Got it. I got it. You’re… anidiot, and… I think… it would be great if you stopped with this… I seriouslydo, but I also think… there are things… that can’t… be helped.”
The shineof those blue eyes changed. “Really? President Hodgins tells me to stop it.”
She hitViolet’s shoulder with a plop. Cattleya actually wanted to side with Hodgins,but she also wanted at least herself to be Violet’s ally. “That’s because loveis necessary for living. Isn’t love like a symbol of happy things? People getmarried, and one of them dies at some point… but the other relies on thememories they have of that person; something like that. It doesn’t have to beromance… the love you receive never disappears… Parents also count. I…ran away from home and was taken in by President Hodgins. There… were manymoments of loneliness for me since I had no acquaintances here. I had terribleparents, but the times when they patted my head… those kinds of things… wheneverI was desolate, I would always end up remembering them…”
Violet, whohad not known about Cattleya’s circ.u.mstances, replied with a, “Is that so?”
The two ofthem were now finally speaking face-to-face. Their conversation was one-sidedno more.
“So love…is a… necessity?”
“It is.What do you rely on to live? You’ve had times in your life until now in whichyou were treated kindly, and things and words that you were happy to receive,right? It’s because they are… acc.u.mulated inside of you… that you arealive.”
“Bu…t…” Violet said in pauses, “even if I had nothing, I… would have beenliving.”
Cattleyatilted her head to the side. She did not understand the meaning of those words.
“Even now,I am alive. I cannot forget about Major. That is why… this is not love.”
Cattleyadid not know that Violet used to live alone in an isolated island. Sheconcluded on her own that Violet living even if she had nothing referred to theperiod before she had met the major.
“Violet,hey.”
“That… isnot my case. I am a tool, so for starters, things like that are…”
“Listen tome. A ‘tool’… what are you saying? Is it… because you’re an ex-soldier? Youmean warriors are tools? Aren’t you… being rude to the people who protectedthis country?”
“That isnot it. Ever since way before, I… was a tool, so if I do not… remain asone…”
Perhaps dueto her not being able to express herself well, Cattleya strongly gripped Violet’sautomated fingers.
“I will beof no requirement for Major.”
Once shedid so, they could not easily be untangled.
“I am not aperson. I am no good… if I am not a tool. If I do not stay as a tool… Icannot fight properly. I would also lose the right of wishing to be by Major’sside. For the sake of wishing to be beside Major, and for being someone’s tool,things of that nature… must be inhibited.”
Cattleya’shead, still tilted, continued leaning sideways more and more, until it seemedlike she would fall from the bench. “Wait, I wanna get this straight.” Sheraised her palm a little, taking on a restrained position.
“Allright.” Violet obediently consented. She waited for Cattleya to sorteverything.
“Your Majoris dead.”
“Yes.”
“But youlike him and have always been waiting for him. You believe he’s alive.”
“I dobelieve that he is living.”
“I thinkthat’s love. You’re in love too. But you say that’s not it… because you mightstop being useful for the deceased Major otherwise.”
“Yes.”
“You’reforcing yourself into not knowing love… and wanting to be a tool. That’sbecause it’s a way for you to be with him… I don’t get what you’re… saying.You, Violet… I mean, there’s no reason for you to fight anymore, right? Majordied, and you’re not a soldier anymore.”
“Yes.”Maybe because such reality was unfavorable for Violet, her answer came out low.
“You leftthe army, and now, you’re working at our place, right? Do you understand thatyour motive to deny it by saying that you don’t need love and that it’s notlove doesn’t exist anymore?”
“I… do…understand.”
Violet fellsilent after that. She was pondering on what to say. Averting her orbs fromhers and Cattleya’s laced fingers, she lifted her face after looking down for awhile. As she was at last about to open her mouth, Violet suddenly widened hereyes significantly. She had found something.
What wasreflected in her big, jewel-like blue irises was a tall man. The mancontinuously appeared and disappeared within the crowd.
Her hand naturallystretched out. “…jor.” Violet said something in an awfully reduced tone, lipstrembling.
The man hadl.u.s.trous black hair.
“Hey, Iwon’t be able to get it if you stay quiet. Then why is it that you callyourself a tool?” Tired of waiting for the other’s response, Cattleya cut thestillness and called out to her.
As she didso, Violet abruptly stood up.
Cattleyawas surprised at her serious profile. “S-Sorry. Did you get angry?” She askedfearfully, and Violet replied with a “no”.
“In case…”Violet took one, two steps away from the bench, acting as though her heart wasnot there, drawn into the direction of the crowd.
“Violet?”
As her namewas called, Violet turned back towards Cattleya for once. “In case that personis alive, this is for the sake of being able to function properly… if therecomes a time in which he would need me. Cattleya, I will excuse myself for alittle.” Her expression was no longer the one of just a short while before,empty as a ghost.
“Eh,wait…! Where are you going?!”
“I must goafter him. I will definitely make it back to the mission.”
“Afterwho!?”
Who was itthat she had to chase, even it meant leaving Cattleya behind?
Cattleya gotup in a haste as well. However, their belongings and letters ended up droppingand rolling down at her feet.
“My…former user.” After saying only that, Violet vanished into the ma.s.s of people.
Stillstanding, Cattleya was dumbfounded. “Eh, Major?” It finally came to her who theperson was. “Violet, hey, wait.”
Nevertheless,it was too late. She was already gone. Since she was calm and delicate, herfeet almost did not seem so fast, yet her agility was indeed that of a soldier.
“I’m allalone, you know.” Cattleya grumbled, although her shock surpa.s.sed her solitude.As she had no choice, she picked up the belongings that had fallen andscattered – fountain pens, writing papers, envelopes, the letter she herselfhad written.
And…
“Ah.” Shefound one more letter lying on the ground. It was not her own.
That wasViolet’s unfinished message. She had put it in an envelope and left it on herlap as it was. It was the one she had claimed to be unable to compose appropriatelyand had stopped writing. Cattleya had not noticed it when Violet was writing,but once she took it in her hands, she thought it was a very pretty item.
SinceAuto-Memories Dolls frequently used paper and envelopes for writing on people’sbehalf, those were often ma.s.s-produced by the companies they belonged to. Evenso, of course, they would prepare ones fitting for their clients to have athand, but what Violet had brought from home was obviously different in quality.A bordering of silver roses as drawn on a white paper that felt good to thetouch. She had most likely bought with her own savings.
——Even though she had said she didn’t writepersonal letters anymore…
People whohad the habit of writing letters would be able to tell that those weretreasured articles. They were selected in a way that the marvelousness of thepaper and envelope would already be enough to convey the respect of the sendertowards the addressee. They could not be guaranteed as decent just from beingexpensive. But the ones that had been chosen emanated prominence just bylooking.
Cattleyastared at the direction Violet had disappeared into. The figure of a girlrunning with her golden hair swaying was not there anymore.
“This ispunishment for leaving me by myself.” With mean spirit and curiosity, Cattleyadecided to try reading what was inside.
Afterwards,once Violet came back as stated, she would tease her about them. Since thelatter had said she was unable to write it properly, the contents wereunmistakably boring. It was with that in mind that Cattleya had skimmed throughthe paper.
“Foolishgirl.”
The insidewas not what Cattleya expected. She soon finished reading, for it was only onesheet. She slowly traced Violet’s handwriting with her fingertips.
——I wonder why. Why… did she have… to writelike this…
What waswritten in there were private affairs completely unrelated to Cattleya. She hadonly just become able to talk to the other on that day. There was a limit tohow much empathy she could feel.
——…with words that… seem to gouge people’shearts?
Nevertheless,a coating of water gradually formed in her amethyst eyes. She could not bear toimagine how Violet had felt during the conversation they had had on that veryday, or what sort of memories she had been living with.
Thecontents of the letter were:
Are you well? Has anything changed? Where areyou right now? Do you not have any troubles?
Spring, summer, autumn and winter have pa.s.sed,and repeat on forever, but only the season where you are here does not come.Whenever I am waking up, falling asleep or feeling hazy, I find myself lookingfor your figure. I do not dream often, so I feel as if I might forget yourappearance. Repeatedly, repeatedly, I replay memories of you in my head.
Are you really nowhere anymore? I have walkedso much around the whole world. I have been to many countries. You were not inany of them. I have not found you. Still I search. Even after having been toldyou had pa.s.sed away, still I search.
I am following my order. I am alive. I live,live and live. What is there after life is over? Although I do not know, I merelykeep on living. Even so—
Violetgrasped the arm of the black-haired man. “Please wait.”
The man,who had turned around, possessed the emerald green orbs so typical of theBougainvillea.