Violet Evergarden

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I likeflowers. I like poems. But what I enjoy writing about the most are battledepictions. I want to become strong. I took Violet’s name from a poem I love, “Rosesare Red”. People’s names always have some sort of meaning.

—Akatsuki Kana

When hadthat feeling sprouted within him? He had no idea what the trigger had been. Ifhe were ever asked what he was fond of about her, he would not be able to properlyexpress it in words.

“Major.” Before he had realized it, he was happywhenever she called out to him. He believed he had to protect her as shefollowed him from behind. His chest pounded with immutable devotion.

——For whom and for what purpose is thatdevotion? Supposing hers is for my sake… her lips would automatically onlyspeak words that sound pleasing to me. Since she seeks subservience and orders,having the approval of the Lord she submits to is her motivation. Then… whatabout my own life? What about my love? For whose sake are they?

The Major and His Everything

Emeraldeyes opened. They belonged to a small child. The wide-open orbs of a younginfant who had yet to complete six years of age and had just awoken from hisslumber reflected the world around him.

As hehopped off the carriage he had been sleeping in along the course of the road, asummery scenery spread in front of him. The first thing that caught hisattention was the beauty of the trees lined up on the way to a green forest.While nestled close to one another, from old ones to saplings, they stood dignified.The shadows formed by a soft, pure light cascading to the earth from the gapsbetween their leaves almost looked like dancers. Said leaves swayed in the wind,sounding like the giggles of little girls.

During suchseason, white flowers blown into a storm of petals were a remarkable trait ofLeidenschaftlich. Almost as the blizzards of the northern countries, theflowers floated about in the air. Their vines were a.s.sociated with heroes who had protected the nation against no trivial number of invasions, and could befound planted all over the country. Beautiful blossoms bloomed from them duringthe change from spring to summer.

“It’s our familyflower.” His father whispered that one sentence, walking ahead of him.

His eyes,which had been moving about in many directions as he was led by his olderbrother’s hand, landed on his father’s back. Perhaps sensing his son’sthermal stare, the father turned around once, and though he could not tell, itcould have been to confirm if he was properly following from behind. Same ashis young self, his father’s irises were green, except of a slightly differentshade, and bore a strict gaze.

Just fromthe fact his father had turned backwards, he was happy to the point of wantingto break into dance. Most likely, that was idolization. However, although hisheart was pleased, his expression was stiff. All he was concerned about waswhether he had done anything warrant being admonished during that instant.

“What’sthat stuff… about ‘our family flower’?” His older brother poorly imitatedtheir father’s words in a very low tone.

The parentand children followed down the green path. Beyond the scene created by thebeauty of nature was what seemed to be an area for military trainingfacilities. In it were several people who wore the same purplish black uniformas their father. The little one acted as though exploring something peculiar, andwhat lay before his pupils that twinkled with stars of curiosity was the figureof soldiers in a march that did not disarray for a single second.

The fathertook his sons to what seemed to be seats for authorized people in order towatch something that was about to start. Leaving them on chairs arrangedoutdoors, the father left their side.

In additionto those who wore the army’s uniform, there were also soldiers wearing the navy’swhite high-collar one. Surrounding the fighter and reconnaissance planes, theychatted amongst one another, cleanly divided into two parties. Although both weredefense forces, they appeared to be self-conscious of and unfriendly with eachother. From the eyes of a child, it was a bizarre sight.

Perhapsbecoming nervous due to not seeing his father anywhere, he flapped his arms andlegs, aimlessly dropping his gaze to his feet. A petal of bougainvillea, whichhis father had called their “family flower”, fell down. As he stretched hishand out in a forceful attempt to take it into his palm while remaining seated,his older brother sitting next to him held his body back down.

“Gilbert,behave.” As his brother told him with a sullen tone, Gilbert tamely complied.

He was anobedient child. His home was Leidenschaftlich, and he was the descendant of a well-knownsouthern military nation’s heroes.

For theBougainvillea men, it was customary to enlist into the army. It was not thefirst time that his father, who had a high-ranking position in it, had broughthis brother and himself to similar events.

His brothergrasped his hand and held it tight. Even without him doing so, Gilbert was not thekind of boy to repeat an action after being scolded for it.

“If youdisgrace the Bougainvillea name, I will be the one punished for neglecting myduty of supervising you.”

Since hisbrother receiving a lecture along with a reprimanding fist from their fatherwas something often witnessed in their everyday routine, it was only theexpected for him to show a well-attuned response, as to not spoil theirfather’s mood. Gilbert understood that much.

In theBougainvillea household, where Gilbert and his older brother lived, each personhad to act out their conduct with utmost care; otherwise, it felt as if thehouse’s walls, protruding with needles, nails, swords, and rose thorns, wouldpierce their bodies and draw blood. Rather than it being a comfortable place,it was as if it judged them constantly. Such was their home.

“Soboring…” his brother said, half-pouting. His eyes were directed not at the armysoldiers, but at the navy ones. “This kind of thing… seems boring, doesn’t it,Gil?”

AlthoughGilbert was asked for agreement, he was at loss for an answer. He could not consent.

——Why do you say that?

He believed feelings such as boredom had to bediscarded in that situation. Regardless of how tedious it could be, they had toendure it. That was why he had ceased acting as a restless child who was easilyinfluenced by others. His brother was supposed to be aware of that as well, sowhy did he go as far as orally seeking concordance?

Since Gilbert was still only an infant, he repliedin a child-like manner, “You can’t say things like that.”

“It’s fine. It’s okay for you and me to talkabout this in a low voice. As if I would let even my thoughts be controlled.Y’know, Gil… this is definitely… something that Dad and Dad’s father, andeven Dad’s father’s father have done. It’s the worst, right?”

“Why is that bad?” Gilbert asked.

“Isn’t it as if they don’t have a will of theirown? Listen, the reason Dad has brought us here today is to say, ‘you are goingto become like me’.”

“Why is that bad?” Gilbert asked.

“It’s to make us understand that we can’tchoose anything other than this.”

“Why is that bad?” Gilbert asked.

As he did not comprehend his brother’s feelingsno matter what, the latter seemed frustrated and annoyed, lightly balling afist and strongly hitting Gilbert’s shoulder with the hand that had beenholding his. “I want to become a sailor. Not just any sailor. A captain. I’dlead my comrades and venture all around the world. I also want my own ship.Gil, you’re a good learner so you could become a voyager too. But… I… we will never be allowed to become whatwe want.”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Gilbert said, “Since weare from the Bougainvillea family.”

The household was neatly composed of apyramidal hierarchy where the father stood at the top; beneath him was themother, uncle and aunt, and beneath them was the oldest brother, Gilbert and theirsisters. In the house Gilbert had been born into, it was natural for the lesserpeople to lower their heads to their elders, and opposing them was nottolerated. Gilbert and his brother were little gears meant to give continuityto the Bougainvillea family by protecting its heroic honor. Could gears proclaimwhat they wished to do? No, they could not.

“You’ve been… completely brainwashed, huh…”With a voice that hinted pity, his brother whispered in disdain.

——I wonder what…‘brainwash’ is.

While he was lost in thought, the fighterplanes took flight. In order to see the iron birds rendezvousing and drawingarcs in the sky, Gilbert looked up towards the heavens. The planes intersected withthe Sun and disappeared for a moment. It was incredibly dazzling. However, his eyeb.a.l.l.sached as if burning, causing him to close his lids slowly.

Perhaps due to thestimulation from the sunlight, tears had formed.

Emerald eyes opened. They belonged to a wise youngman. The orbs that bore sternness taken after not only his father but alsoperhaps his own personality, as well as kindness and loneliness, were staringat a doll. Rather, a girl that looked like a doll. In the corners of his fieldof vision was the figure of his older brother, who had grown up just as Gilberthimself.

The room was filled with refined decorations.They were expensive arrangements. However, the fact that the fine quality ofthe ornaments was the criteria to decide who could afford staying in the place waslaughable.

Everything was a mess. The room had become themurder scene of five men at once. The girl, bloodstained, was the culprit. Evenwith her clothes and scent washed in blood, her beauty remained undamagedby it. She was the most beautiful a.s.sa.s.sin in the world.

“Hey, you’ll take it, right, Gilbert?” puttingon an amicable smile, his older brother pushed the girl’s back.

She took a step towards Gilbert’s side.Automatically, Gilbert took a step back. His body had moved reflexively inrefusal and fear. She was horrifying.

——Don’t look at me.

His brother had relentlessly insisted that thegirl in front of him was a ‘tool’ and forcefully handed her over. Indeed, shewas treated and acted as a tool. However, her breathing was still heavy.

While he wiped her hand, sticky with blood andfat, with his cufflink, she stared at him as though inquiring what the next commandwould be.

——Why are you lookingat me?

He empathized with his older brother’s inhumaneutterances to a certain extent. The pyramidal hierarchy existed not only in theirhome but also in society. In order for children, who were at the bottom of it,to ascend to its top, efforts were required. And not simply by one’s own power. So asto live, so as to be successful in life, it was necessary to make use of avariety of a.s.sets. It was not something to be praised for, yet it was somethingGilbert desired. Undoubtedly, if he learned how to properly use her, she couldbecome the best shield and sword.

——Why are you…looking at me?

The automated a.s.sa.s.sin doll desired Gilbert aswell.

In the end, everything had gone as his brotherhad planned, and the young Gilbert, who still had features that could beconsidered that of a youth, stood in the middle of a street downtown. His twoorbs of a mysterious hue stared at the one his arms. The doll, wrapped in hisjacket, smelled of nothing remotely sweet, instead enveloped in the odor of theblood she had just bathed in. If she had monster-like features, he would haveexpected that much, yet her appearance was akin to that of a pixie from some fairytale.

“I am… scared of you.”

The girl did not react to the honest words thatleaked from his lips. Her blue eyes simply watched him.

“I am… I am scared of… using you.” Gilbertcontinued while embracing her tightly. “You are terrifying. Right now, in fact…it’s possible that I’m actually supposed to kill you.” Muttering painfully, henever let go of the girl. He also did not attempt to drop and leave her on theroad, shoot her head with the gun in his pocket, or squeeze her slender neckwith his hands. “But… I want you to live.” He held onto her despite hisfears. His words were frank. “I want you to live.”

It was a truth that shone faintly amidst acruel world. The problem was whether they would be able to endure its harshreality. Could he do it?

Uncertain, Gilbert closed his eyes. He prayed forthe idealistic thought that it would be wonderful if everything were solvedonce he opened them again.

Emerald eyes opened. A situation far worse thanwhen he had been praying unfolded before them. The girl proceeded to murder menwho had become unable to move by spanking their heads with batons. She wouldhit them. Blood would fly. Screams would rise. She would hit them. The one whohad ordered so was Gilbert himself.

Something other than life was being lost inthat s.p.a.ce. Violence was giving birth to something in place of reasoning,conscience and other values that had been given names by someone. It was…

——Suspicious. This isnot for justice. For her, mine and this country’s sake… that’s what this wasmeant for.

A little bit of pleasure was born withinGilbert amidst enough guilt to make him want to vomit, along with a l.u.s.t forconquest from getting his hands on an overwhelming power – which was a girl whowould not listen to the orders of anyone but him –, and a sense of superiorityas though he had taken over the world.

With the justification of escorting her to thespare room that she had been given, he temporarily excused himself and escapedfrom the circle of superior officers coming to ask questions regarding the girl.Stepping onto the pool of blood of the people she had slaughtered, he headedfor her.

It was as if she would make blood come out ofwhatever she touched. The blood of her victims, that is. Never her own. Yet hercurrent image seemed to be a copy of one Gilbert would probably see again someday,of her completely covered in blood. That was what he was attempting to do.

The feelings that had abruptly risen within himwere gone, like a candle being extinguished. Her breathing was heavy once more.

——There’s no helping.There’s no helping it. Gilbert told himself.

Indeed, it was a decision that could not behelped. There was nothing that could be done, as it was only the expected ofhim to want to keep the frightening weapon he had acquired, which possessedawareness, within his view. He feared she would harm others. In suchcirc.u.mstances, it was best to use her while maintaining her at reach, and thetool herself wished for that as well.

——It can’t behelped… in order for us… to be together. For her to stay alive.

Even so, the insides of his eyes hurt exactlyas the time he had stared directly into the Sun.

Gilbert took the girl to a deserted corridor.

She was a tool. Not his daughter or littlesister. She was someone soon to become his underling. It would be troublesomeif other people perceived their peculiar relationship. Unless they kept adistance, they would not be able to live side-by-side.

——Still…

He made her walk, walk and walk. Once no oneelse was on sight, he turned around and stretched his hand towards her.

“Come.”

He could not hold back. The fact that hisuniform would be soiled with blood did not go through his head. He had to holdher at that very moment, moving automatically to embrace her. When they hadfirst met and when he had taken her with him, he had ended up doing so as well.

The girl had the same reaction. She trembledagitatedly, but unlike the other times, her tiny fingers gripped onto hisuniform – firmly, as though to say she would not let go.

She was a living being with temperatureand weight. Back when his sisters were babies, he used to carry and soothe themoften. The feeling of those days overlapped. She was soft, as if she couldbreak, to the point of making Gilbert believe he had to protect her no matterwhat. She fit in his arms more perfectly than he had first thought.

His face, distorted with extreme sorrow,reflected in her blue eyes. Grievously, Gilbert whispered, “Do you really want…a Master like this?”

He could not directly face the excessivelyinnocent glow of the girl’s eyes, and closed his own as if to run away.

Emerald eyes opened.

“I cannot comprehend… what you are saying.”Even though he was still at an age where one would be complimented for their youthfulness,his precocious...o...b.. showed exasperation as he stared at a telecommunicationequipment.

It was raining outside. The sound of dropletspouring onto the building interfered with the conversation. Everywhere was too noisy.

Gilbert, commanding the Special Offense Force ofLeidenschaftlich’s Army, carried the duty of traveling around the country to terminatethe various conflicts happening in it. Moreover, he had the role of raising theone who would become the strength of the Raid Unit in the upcoming finalbattle. In addition to that, he had suddenly received one more job.

“About the location, a driver has been arrangedto take her there. Prepare her and order her to kill. Just that will suffice. Eliminateeveryone living in that building. She’s not to worry about anything else andshould come back as soon as she’s done.”

Having unexpectedly received a message from asuperior officer during his stay at the army divisions’ base, he opposed to thecontents of the operation. “But…!” although he had waited for his turn to talk, he closed his mouth after raising his voice. “If this is meant to put disturbingelements under control, my entire troop should partic.i.p.ate. Why are you pushingthis mission onto Violet alone…? It’s not something a single soldier coulddo.” He was unable to subdue the disapproval dripping from his tone.

“It’s because the least people who know aboutthis, the better. The target is a national arms dealer who signed an exportationcontract for an anti-government organization. This has been reported by a spywho infiltrated in it. We can’t leave the matter to be solved by itself. Afterall, they are quite aware of our blemishes. The moment is opportune. We must settlethis. It’s regretful to call it an overthrow, but there are certainly many people whowill take it that way. If we end up exposingto the worldeven the dubious ideals we embrace, this will be of importance.”

“If that is the case, then all the more reasonto a.s.semble personnel capable of accomplishing the mission.”

“Which is your doll. A killer weapon whodesires only your orders without questioning them. There’s no one more capablethan her, right? I haven’t forgotten that spectacle you presented to us. Howmany did she murder back then again? How old was she? With your guidance, theprecision of her killings should have improved even further. I won’t let you sayshe can’t do it. Rather, if you had to pick between her doing it or not, whichwould it be?”

“That’s…”

“Could the most prominent symbol of nationaldefense that is the Bougainvillea be a fake?”

Unable to speak properly, Gilbert clutched hisclothes on the area next to his lungs. During the few seconds of silence, animage surfaced in his mind of himself commanding Violet to complete theaforementioned task. She surely would reply with an obsequious “yes”. Therewould be no hesitation. She was not one to falter. If it were something Gilbertordered, if it were for the sake of the Lord who looked after her, she would doanything. And what distressed Gilbert the most was that Violet would probablyexecute her role without difficulties.

He then pictured the future he had predicted inhis head. Within it, he could see himself unable to sleep in the barracks,simply awaiting her return.

“She can do it.” His voice finally came out.“She can do it, but Violet needs specific on-site directions. If you havewitnessed the slaughter of back then, you understand that, right? She cannotfunction as a weapon unless I give instructions. Allow me to accompany her.”

It had finally come out, but not with what hehad wanted to say.

“Violet, are you ready?” clad in his purplishblack military uniform, Gilbert gazed down at the girl with his emerald green eyes.They seemed intense in the dark interior of the vehicle.

Besides his own, the only other pair of orbsthat glistened blazingly was the girl’s. As to expand her field of vision, her goldenhair, which complimented her beautiful eyes of a color lighter than the blue ofthe sea and deeper than the blue of the sky, was tied inside of a military hatidentical to the one Gilbert wore.

“Yes.” Her curt response was dispa.s.sionate yetbr.i.m.m.i.n.g with confidence. The girl who could not speak was no longer there.

Gilbert handed a knife and handgun to the femalesoldier of a rare beauty. “We are going there with the pretense of just talking,but that is not our intention. What we are about to do… will serve as exampleto all arms dealers involved with Leidenschaftlich.”

“I am aware.”

“The inside is not s.p.a.cious enough for bigfights. I want you to adapt to the conditions of this battleground as fast aspossible. You can’t use Witchcraft. But I will go in as well. I will protectyou. Think only of defeating the enemies.”

“Yes, Major.” As she nodded, no matter how onelooked at her, she did not give off the slightest impression that she was aboutto kill people. Her slim shoulders and delicate physique indicated her to be inher mid-teens or somewhere below.

Gilbert glanced at her despondently and leftthe car. It was pitch-black outside. A night sky without stars created a sereneatmosphere.

“It will take no more than thirty minutes. Waithere.”

After he informed the driver, the two of them steppedinto the property that interposed two alleys. In front of the place that didnot appear to have any irregularities was a hard-faced man guarding the gates,holding a rifle as though for display.

There were several houses nearby, but none ofthem had lights on. It seemed to be an abandoned residential area at the backof a housing district deep within a suburban town. There was a reason why noone lived in it anymore – no normal family would wish to be in a neighborhood reekingof blood and violence.

“I am an affiliate of Leidenschaftlich’s army,Major Gilbert Bougainvillea. I’ve come to see the arms dealer. I know he ishere. Tell him I have something to discuss.”

The gatekeeper evidently showed a face ofdispleasure at the sudden visitors. “Aah…? What’s with you guys? Don’t f.u.c.karound. Who do you think you’re talking to?”

At the unbecoming att.i.tude of spitting on hisshoes, Gilbert remained expressionless while muttering, “You should watch yourlanguage as well.”

With a quick action, he held down the gatekeeper’srifle in one hand, simultaneously sinking a fist into the other’s stomach. Hethen pointed the rifle to the top of the groaning gatekeeper’s head, hittinghim with it. It did not end there; the instant the latter fell onto his knees,Gilbert landed a kick on the side of his face with his military shoes. A largeamount of blood and a crowned tooth spilled from the gatekeeper’s mouth.Gilbert glared coldly as he shouted in agony with yelps and grunts. Hisruthlessness had increased from thrashing the man’s profile.

“Disappear. I will use a gun next time.”

The order was for them to murder all of thosein the building. They were not inside of it yet. He had let the other live dueto mercy. However, a few seconds after the man fled, the girl accurately shot hishead with her gun as he ran away. The hand of the man that had been shot held ahidden revolver.

“Violet.”

“Major, he was aiming a gun at you.”

A few minutes after the two entered thebuilding, vicious gunshots and shrieks echoed like music pieces. Sounds ofbursting flesh and breaking gla.s.s, cries of deathly agony. They were played in a timedharmony and went on repeatedly, until at last, the brutal pursue came to an endwith a particularly lurid scream. The building that was the only source oflight in the area eventually lost its gleam and its interior became completelyquiet.

The world had finally regained its true form.It was a time of silence where living beings would fall into deep sleep.

“How dull.” Loading his pistol, which had goneout of bullets, Gilbert sighed and sat down on a sofa. The legs of the bodieslying on the floor were on his way, but he ignored them as there was nothingelse he could do.

It was Violet that the superior officers had nominatedto take care of the arms dealer. She was actually supposed to have come to thatplace on her own.

——She already handles enemysoldiers, but now she has to do even this kind of dirty work. The higher-upsare treating her as nothing but a murder tool.

If the disposal of troublesome elements was fortheir country’s sake, he could do it free of obscure thoughts. Had he been byhimself, he would not have been thinking such things.

“Major, is something wrong? The mission hasbeen cleared. There are no survivors.” Even in such a situation, the girl in question checkedthe corpses with a calm face.

Gilbert knew better than anyone that there wasno need to accompany her.

“No.” As he let his gaze wander around thefloor, the feet of a man he had killed came into view. Disturbed, he avertedhis eyes. “I am fine. You’re tired, right? Take a seat too.”

As he gestured to the sofa, she wavered slightlybut obediently sat down. It was a strange scene – a man and a girl relaxinglytaking their time in a room filled with dead bodies. The blissfully striking moonlightpoured from the window and illuminated the two felons.

Violet observed her superior – rather, someonewhom she considered far more than just her superior – as he refused to look ather. What was the owner of those blue eyes thinking? It was as if she sawnothing else but him; such was the kind of stare that she regarded him with.

“Is it all right to not leave immediately?”

“Just one more minute and we’re off. Once weare out of here, we will return to the barracks and to our traveling routine.We will exterminate the enemy units as the higher-ups tell us to, travel again,and exterminate.”

“Yes.”

“There’s… very little extra time for me tospend… just with you.”

“Yes.”

“Even though we’ve been together since you weresmall, lately, it’s only at times like these that…”

“Yes.”

He felt as if his throat would clog withsorrow. It was the product of feelings that did not match his cool-headedoutline. They were all brought by the girl sitting next to him. That wasbecause the one who raised and managed that cold-blooded female soldier was Gilberthimself. He who directly used her as an a.s.sa.s.sination tool was in no positionto berate others.

“Hum, Violet… sorry, but could you open thewindow? The smell of blood is terrible.”

After sounds of her stepping onto the pools of bloodon the ground ensued, the window was opened. Although it was a starless, dimnight, the moon was now out. Exposed to the moonlight, her frame reflected hazilyin Gilbert’s eyes. Her beautiful facial features were already fully developed, despite her still being so juvenile. Blood droplets had splattered on her whitecheeks, tainting her pure appearance.

“Major?” Perhaps uncomfortable from beingstared at so intently, Violet tilted her neck at Gilbert.

“Violet, you’ve become taller again.” His voicecame out hoa.r.s.e. He covered his head with his arms folded against his knees.Whenever he looked at her increasingly gorgeous figure, an indescribable painwould boil in his chest.

“Is that so? If Major says so, it might betrue.”

“Do you have any injuries?” It was not easy forhim to speak without stuttering.

“No. Major, are you all right?”

“Do you despise me?” As he spoke as if spewingblood, the girl blinked in surprise. She must have been truly shocked.

After a while of silence, she replied in alow voice, as though whispering, “I do not understand the question.”

To Gilbert, that had been a predictable response.A dry smile naturally came to him.

“Have I… failed at something?”

“No, that’s not it. There’s nothing you’re atfault for.”

“If there is anything wide of the mark, pleasetell me. I will fix it.”

Her figure as she took the posture of a tool nomatter what was hard to bear for Gilbert.

——However, I have noright to think that this is sad or that she is pitiable.

It was hard, yet he had no means to escape fromthat suffering.

“Violet, there’s nothing you’re at fault for.It’s true. If there’s anything to be criticized, it’s the fact that you are bymy side, killing people without hesitation for my sake. And the one to blamefor all of this is me.”

Violet did not possess a sense of good and badfrom the start. She did not ‘know’ what could be considered righteous orerroneous. She merely chased after the adult who gave her orders.

“Why is that? I am Major’s weapon. It is merelyobvious that you would use me.”

It was because Violet’s words held no lies thateach note of each one pierced Gilbert’s whole body. She was simply a tool for ma.s.sacre,devoid of emotions.

“Anyhow… I’m the one to blame. I don’t wantyou to be doing this. Still, I make you do it.”

Regardless of how beautiful she was, regardlessof how much the man by her side held her dear…

“To me, you are not a tool…”

…she was a doll devoid of feelings…

“Not a tool…”

…that wished only for orders.

Gilbert wanted to shout. He had probably wantedto do so ever since he was a child, had he been allowed to. Had he been permittedfreedom, without having to care about being well-behaved, the truth was that hehad always, always, always, always, always wanted to shout, “As if I could conformto something like this.”

——As if I couldconform to something like this. As if I could conform to something like this.As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I couldconform to something like this. As if I could conform to something like this.As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something like this.As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform to somethinglike this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conformto something like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. As if Icould conform to something like this. As if I could conform to something likethis. As if I could conform to something like this. As if I could conform tosomething like this. As if I could conform to something like this. Aah, aah, asif I could conform to something like this!

When hadthat feeling sprouted within him?

——Why at such a time?

He had no idea what the trigger had been.

——Why her?

If he were ever asked what he was fond of abouther, he would not be able to properly express it in words.

——Anyone else wouldhave been fine.

“Major.” Before he had realized it, he was happywhenever she called out to him.

——Even so, my eyeschase after and search for you.

He believed he had to protect her as shefollowed him from behind.

——My lips…

His chest pounded with immutable devotion.

——…feel like theywill blurt out “I love you”.

After acknowledging that he loved her, he ceasedattempting to drag her into war.

——For whom and for what purpose is thatdevotion? Supposing hers is for my sake… her lips would automatically onlyspeak words that sound pleasing to me. Since she seeks subservience and orders,having the approval of the Lord she submits to is her motivation. Then…

“I…You…”

——What about my own life?

“You…”

——For whose sake…

“You…”

——…is my love?

“Violet…”

——For whose sake… am I living now?

“What is ‘love’?”

“Violet,love is…”

At thatmoment, he understood everything.

——Aah.

Gilbert wasnot keen of that phrase.

——It was fate.

After all,it would wipe clean every effort he had spent so far. He could not conform tothe fact that the experiences stacked from since his tender years, as a childaiming to rise to the pyramid’s apex, had been for the sake of fate. Everythingshould have been the result of sheer effort. Nevertheless, at death’s doorstep,Gilbert understood.

——It was fate.

The reasonwhy he had been born into the Bougainvillea family…

——It was fate.

The reasonwhy his brother had abandoned him and cut ties with their household…

——It was fate.

The reasonwhy said brother had found her and brought her home with him…

——It was fate.

The reasonwhy Gilbert wound up loving her…

——It was fate.

“Violet.”

——Just… teaching what love is… to this girlwho doesn’t know it. That is my life’s purpose.

“I do notunderstand. I don’t understand love. I don’t understand… the things Majortalks about. If this is how it is, for what reason have I been fighting? Whydid you give me orders? I am… a tool. Nothing else. Your tool. I do notunderstand love… I just… want to save… you, Major. Please do not leave meon my own. Major, please do not leave me on my own. Please give me an order!Even if it costs my life… please order me to save you!”

——I love you, Violet. I should have… told youthis… more properly in words. The many gestures you would show, the way yourblue eyes would widen whenever you discovered something new… I enjoyed watchingyou like that. Flowers, rainbows, birds, insects, snow, fallen leaves andcities filled with shaking lanterns… I’d wanted to show them all to you in amore beautiful light. I’d wanted to bestow you with a moment to appreciate themfreely, not with mine but your own thoughts. I don’t know… how you would havelived without me there. But, if I weren’t around, wouldn’t you have beenable… to see the world in a slightly more beautiful manner, the same way as Isaw it through you? Ever since you came to my side, I… my life… was prettymuch destroyed, but… I’ve found a meaning for living other than aiming forthe top of that pyramid. Violet. You have… become my everything. Everything. Unrelatedto the Bougainvillea. Just… everything to the man named Gilbert. At first, Iwas afraid of you. Yet at the same time, I believed I wanted to protect you.Even though you had sinned without realizing, I still wished for you to live.After I decided to make use of you, a criminal, I became a criminal as well.Your wrongdoings were my wrongdoings. I loved that mutual sinning. That’sright, I should… have told you this. It’s something very rare. I have veryfew things that I like. There’s actually a much bigger number of things that Idetest. I simply don’t say it, but I’m not fond of this world, or this lifestyle.I do protect my country, but in truth, I dislike this world. The things I likeare… my best friend, my inevitably twisted family… and you. Violet, it’sonly you. My life consisted of just that. Wanting to protect you… and tryingto keep you alive… were the first things in my life that I had wanted to do nomatter what out of my own will. Abjectly, I make this wish. Violet. I want…to protect… you… more, more and more.

An emeraldeye opened. It was a world of darkness. The cries of insects could be heardfrom afar.

Was thatthe real world or not?

As hepicked the smell of medicine, he immediately knew he was in a hospital. Gilbertconfirmed his situation. He was lying on a bed.

His memorygradually returned. He was supposed to have died in the battlefield. However,perhaps because he had been praying so miserably, even though G.o.d had nevergranted any of his wishes until now, He had let him live.

Only one ofhis emerald eyes had opened. Regardless of how hard he tried, the eye from theside that was wrapped in bandages did not budge. He wanted to move his arms to touchit, as to check on whatever had happened to it. However, again, only one ofthe limbs moved.

He wonderedwho had done it. He now had a mechanical arm.

Gilbertturned his face to the side. He met with someone’s eyes in the dark. It was aredheaded man.

“You’re…pretty resilient.”

The onlyman in Gilbert’s life whom the latter called “best friend” was there. He lookedexhausted. What had happened to his uniform? He was dressed in a shirt andpants.

“Same…for… you.” As he retorted huskily, his friend laughed.

He laughed,but it morphed into sobs right after. Gilbert thought it was a pity that hecould not properly see his friend’s crying face with only one side of hisvision.

“What aboutViolet?”

His friend definitelyknew beforehand that such a question would be asked. He shifted the chair hewas sitting on and showed the bed next to him. The girl Gilbert loved laythere.

“If… sheis… dead… then please kill me too.”

With hereyes closed, she looked like a sculpture, making it impossible to discern ifshe was alive or not. His friend gently told him that she had survived, buther arm was no longer usable.

“Just…one… of them?”

“No, both.Both sides… now have artificial arms.”

Gilbertforcefully attempted to stand up. While his friend rushed to warn against doing so,Gilbert borrowed his hand, walking the insignificant distance to the girl’s bedwith trembling legs. As he uncovered her thin blankets, her smoothporcelain-like arms existed no more. In their place were combat-specializedprosthetics, even though one could not say if she would fight again.

Who had putthem on her?

Gilberttouched Violet’s prosthetic with his flesh hand. It was cold. What was supposedto be there was gone. More than with his own condition, he had to bear withthat.

“Major. What should I do with this… now thatI have it?”

The armsshe had showed him the emerald brooch with were gone.

“Major.”

The handsthat had grabbed onto Gilbert’s cufflink as to not be separated from him weregone. They would never return.

“I want… to listen… to Major’s orders. IfI… have Major’s orders… I can go… anywhere.”

What shehad lost would never come back to her.

Gilbert’svision blurred with tears to the point he could not see his beloved girlanymore. “Hodgins, I have a favor to ask.”

Shedding asingle teardrop, an emerald eye closed.