When I moved home to Emile City, I knew my life would change. I"d be starting my career in what I hoped would be a part-time way while I got my doctorate in music. I"d have a chance to spend more time with friends I"d missed. I"d leave the life of a transient student and start my real life.
Those were my expectations, anyway. As it turned out, the biggest change wasn"t one I"d expected or even let myself fantasize about: Seth Cohen, the man I"d wanted since I knew what it was to want, suddenly wanted me back. Or at least it felt sudden to me. I was still wrapping my brain around all of it, still wondering if at any moment I"d wake up from the most amazing dream ever, but Seth was forging full steam ahead, which was why he had called my father.
Forcing myself to remain focused on the conversation at hand, despite his arousing touches, I said, "You"re saying Mister Play by the Book lied to his boss?" I was trying to sound shocked but instead came off as amused, because I was.
"He knew what number I called from," Seth said. He dragged his hand up my belly to my chest and played with my nipple through my shirt. I was sensitive there, really sensitive, which I a.s.sumed he had noticed because he paid them a lot of attention. "It wasn"t a lie. I was making a point. It"s his turn to suffer through some weddings." He lapped at the skin on the base of my neck and sucked up a mark right under my shirt line. "Besides, I already had plans to spend the day with you."
"I cannot believe I"m hard again," I rasped. "With as much action as I"ve been getting the past couple of days, I"d be worried my d.i.c.k was going to fall off if it wasn"t for that challenge."
The hand that had been on my knee and thigh was heading toward my groin when Seth straightened, stopping the forward progression, and said, "What challenge?"
"Oh, uh." I cleared my throat and tried to focus through the seemingly constant haze of l.u.s.t. "That j.a.c.k.-.o.f.f. challenge I did."
He looked confused.
"Didn"t I tell you about that?"
He shook his head.
"Oh." I smiled. "So when I was, uh"-I thought back-"about seventeen, almost eighteen, I thought it"d be fun to see how many times I could get off in one day."
Seth snorted in amus.e.m.e.nt, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me onto his lap.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing." He shook his head and smiled. "That sounds just like you, is all. I met you not long after that, remember? You were a ball of hormones."
I bit his chin, because I could, and said, "Quit teasing me, old man, or you won"t get the benefit of those hormones."
"Oh, is that right?" He arched one eyebrow. "You"re going to cut me off?"
I thought about it and furrowed my brow. "No. That"d be stupid because I"d be punishing myself." I wiggled and rubbed my b.u.t.t over his semihard shaft. "But I"m sure I can figure out some way to punish you without impacting my o.r.g.a.s.ms."
"Speaking of o.r.g.a.s.ms...," Seth said expectantly and let the sentence trail off.
"What... oh! Right. So anyway, my parents went out of town for the weekend, and I was old enough to stay home alone. I got a bottle of lotion, some snacks and sodas, and pretty much holed up in my bedroom the entire time."
"How"d you do?" He caressed my backside.
"Ten times," I said. "It was a personal best, for sure, but by the end it wasn"t as much fun because my d.i.c.k was sore and a little chafed."
Seth"s eyes widened. "You jacked off ten times in one day?"
"Yeah." I shrugged. "I mean, I only got a couple of drops out in the last few, but I was aiming for a record and I"m not a quitter."
He stared at me for a few seconds, then threw back his head and laughed deeply.
"What?" I asked.
He tugged me close, tucked my head under his chin, and held on tightly. "Nothing." He shook his head and squeezed me. "I just love you," he said in amus.e.m.e.nt and then laughed again.
The world stopped spinning and I froze, not blinking, not breathing. It"s possible my heart even stopped beating.
"Eli?" Seth cupped my chin and tilted my head up so he could look at my face. "What"s wrong?"
"You love me?" I croaked.
He looked genuinely confused. "Of course I love you." He paused and then paled. "I forgot to tell you, didn"t I?"
I nodded and gulped.
"d.a.m.n. It was part of my plan, but everything got thrown off when you heard about Nate Richardson and-"
"Uh-huh, whatever." I looked into his eyes. "You love me?"
He smiled then, a warm ray of sunshine, and his eyes softened as he gazed at me. "I love you so much, Eli." He drew in a shaky breath. "So very much."
My hesitation about whether he"d change his mind about being with me, about moving me into his house, and about building a life with a man-instead of a woman-by his side melted away in the wake of those words.
"It"s your turn." Seth"s eyes twinkled in amus.e.m.e.nt, and he smiled wryly.
"Huh?" I asked, feeling overwhelmed by having everything I"d ever wanted suddenly land in my lap.
"I told you I love you," Seth explained as he combed his fingers through my hair. "The traditional response to that is "I love you too.""
"Oh." I blinked for what might have been the first time in minutes.
"Let"s try this again." Seth brushed his lips over mine, cleared his throat, and said, "Eli Block, I love you."
When he looked at me and arched his eyebrows expectantly, I snapped into the moment and whispered, "I love you too, Seth." I cuddled against him and held back tears of joy. "I love you too."
YOU KNOW KNOW what"s the only thing weirder than the guy you"ve been obsessing over forever telling you he loves you and essentially wants to spend his remaining days boinking your brains out? Finding out your parents already knew about it. what"s the only thing weirder than the guy you"ve been obsessing over forever telling you he loves you and essentially wants to spend his remaining days boinking your brains out? Finding out your parents already knew about it.
"I"m glad you two finally got things sorted out," my father said between bites of my mother"s famous vegetable medley. "The tension was killing me."
I dropped my jaw and my fork.
"See?" Seth calmly said as he tipped my mouth shut, picked up my fork, and handed it to me. "I"m not the only one who felt that way."
"Eli, honey, you"re picking at your food. Don"t you like it?"
"No."
She gasped.
"Uh, I mean, yeah, I like it."
She moved her gaze from my face to my plate and back up again. I stabbed my fork at whatever was underneath it, raised it to my mouth, and chewed something; I had no idea what because my senses were failing me, starting with my sense of touch and including my sense of taste.
My mother beamed when she saw me eating, took a sip of her water, and then excitedly said, "Oh! I have a wonderful idea. I can pack up your room and move your things into Seth"s house while you"re visiting the Cohens."
"No!" I shouted, visions of my mother going through my p.o.r.n and folding my c.u.m rag bouncing in my head. When she narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, I cleared my throat, lowered my voice, and said, "I, uh, appreciate the offer, Mom, but I"ll take care of packing my stuff."
My father shook his head, made a tsk sound, and then said, "Well, he"s your problem now, Seth." He flicked his gaze to my mother. "Do we have any more of that pie Gladys Leroy brought over?"
"His problem now... what the h.e.l.l, Dad? I"m not some d.a.m.n Victorian maiden being given away to her betrothed!"
"Not with that language, you"re not," my father responded.
"Really, Eli," my mother added. "We"re at the dinner table." She turned to my father. "I think there"s one piece of pie left and I have some brownies if the boys want dessert too."
"I"d like a brownie," Seth said, completely nonflummoxed by the exchange. He pushed back his chair, stood up, and started gathering plates. "I"ll take these into the kitchen and bring out the pie, Avi. Is it in the fridge?"
My father nodded. "Yes. The brownies are on the counter. Go ahead and bring me one of those too."
"I"ll get the milk," my mother said as she helped Seth gather plates, then she strolled into the kitchen.
"What about you, baby? Do you want a brownie?" Seth asked. He hunched down and nuzzled my cheek. "You didn"t eat much. Are you feeling okay?"
I jerked my gaze toward my father to see his reaction to Seth calling me "baby" and being so affectionate. He was leaning over one of the serving bowls and nibbling on the remnants of whatever had been in there, completely unaffected by our exchange.
"Don"t you think it"s weird?" I whispered to Seth.
He sat down and leaned close to me. "What?"
"The way my parents are acting."
He darted his gaze around the room. There was nothing to see other than my father getting ready to lick a bowl clean.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"You know. They"re all, "Oh you and Seth are a couple now. Great. Pa.s.s the peas.""
"There were peas?" my father said, making me realize he could hear us. He furrowed his brow and looked around the table. "Where?"
I ignore him and focused on Seth. "See?"
"You weren"t exactly discreet about your feelings for me, Eli," Seth pointed out. "Why would they be surprised?"
"Because," I hissed. "You always said you weren"t interested!"
"Oh, that." Up until that point, Seth had been holding the dirty plates, but he set them down and took my hands between both of his. "Like I told you, that changed a long time ago."
"Well, yeah, but how did they they know?" know?"
"Because we have eyes," my father said helpfully.
"And ears," my mother added as she walked into the room.
I gaped.
Seth cupped my cheek and gazed at me fondly. "And because I told them."
"You did?" I probably sounded awestruck. I certainly felt that way.
"Yes. I had a plan, remember? I was going to court you and-"
"Court?" I snickered. "Who says court?"
"Eli!" my mother snapped. "Don"t be rude. Seth was being very romantic."
"Sorry, old man." I smirked at him. "Please, do continue," I said in my impression of a formal old-world dialect.
"Are you sure you want him, Seth?" my father asked. "He can be a sarcastic little pain in the b.u.t.t."
Seth looked at me, his eyes glowing with happiness and a smile stretched across his handsome face. "Yes, but he"s my my sarcastic little pain in the b.u.t.t, and I"m keeping him." sarcastic little pain in the b.u.t.t, and I"m keeping him."
I considered making a dirty joke about his b.u.t.t and working in a snip about my d.i.c.k not being little, but I refrained. I figured that showed some serious emotional maturity on my part.
REMEMBER HOW HOW I said the only thing weirder than finding out Seth wanted to be with me was finding out my parents already knew about it? I was wrong. That wasn"t the only thing. I said the only thing weirder than finding out Seth wanted to be with me was finding out my parents already knew about it? I was wrong. That wasn"t the only thing.
"Eli, honey, it"s so great to finally meet you!" Seth"s mother Dee Dee said the second we walked into her house. She kissed my cheek, hugged me, and said, "Are you hungry? I bet you are after that flight."
"Hi, uh, Mrs. Co-"
"It"s Dee Dee or Mom. Do you want some chicken? How about soup?"
No way was I calling her "Mom." I was already freaking the f.u.c.k out and I didn"t need another Jewish mother. One was plenty.
"Oh, thanks, Dee Dee, but I"m not really hungr-"
"How about a little snack?" She circled her hand around my elbow and started leading me away from the entryway. "You"re too thin." She frowned. "I"m going to talk to your mother about that."
Right. Because my mom would totally appreciate that kind of advice. Dee Dee might as well tell her she"s an unfit mother guilty of extreme neglect.
I flicked my panicked gaze to Seth, who not so helpfully liberated me from the suitcase I was holding and wandered away in the opposite direction, saying, "We"re in the same guest room I always stay in, right, Mom?"
"Yes, Seth. I made up the bed and left clean towels for you and Eli."
"Thanks, Mom." Seth, the traitor, left me there. "Is Dad at work?"