Why Not Soar Your Majesty

So, this isn’t the complete chapter but since I wanted to post this before my birthday was over, I decided to just f.u.c.k it and post o/

It’s about halfway done tho~

IT’S DONE~ Here’s the first chapter for Why Not Soar Your Majesty.

So here it is o/

Unedited as I was rushing >_

A new BaoBei BaoBei chapter will be out by Sat.u.r.day, hopefully o/

Why Not Soar Your Majesty

Chapter  1 – Not Only Failing The Proposal But Got Beaten Up As Well

Tang Xiao, for now, only had 2 dreams. The first dream was to keep [1] Mu Zheng. This, for now, was very hard to achieve. The amount of people that wanted to keep him was just too much.

Her second dream was to play the game, Spirit Road, and disgust to death the beasts of RanZhiJiangShan [2]! Of course, this dream, she achieves it everyday, even to the point of being able to level up.

[WORLD] TangShi [3]: Hey, I"ve come again today! To SuMuZhe [4] from RangZhiJiangShan, you are noodles, I am water, I"ll soak [5] you; You are the sky, I am the clouds, I"ll wrap [6] around you; You are the stars, I am the moon, I"ll love you. Please consider me! Can act cute, can kill monsters, can court death! Suitable for single p, group p, guild p, various kind of p. [7] G.o.ddess, marry me, marry me! If you don"t agree, I"ll come back later to ask again.

[WORLD] JiuShif.u.xiao [8]: f.u.c.k! [9] Are you ever gonna stop!? You"ve already done this for almost one month straight! Is it that you want to fight!?

[WORLD] TangShi: That"s right! Right now I"m as lonely as a rice bowl, just missing the side dishes. Come! Less talk! [10] Just kill!

TangShi, according to rumours, is the cancer of the LanRe [11] server. To this day, he has even managed to keep two big record. One, was the record for most girl confessed to, and two, was the record for most people killed. Other than that, he was also a transvest.i.te. A G.o.ddess who played a male character… smh. [12]

In the whole LanRe server, it can be said that almost every girl has already been proposed to by him. And the remaining boys had already been beaten up by him. Therefore, when one side was in trouble, eight other side "liked". As long as RangZhiJiangShan said they wanted to beat up TangShi, the other clans that were beaten up by him would put down all their quest and quickly ran to help!

But every time, TangShi was able to escape. Soon enough, he even managed to learn how to walk in a swagger, with a first cla.s.s escaping technique.

And who is SuMuZhe? According to rumours, she is the G.o.ddess of the LanRe server! Everyone in the RangZhiJiangShan Clan all said that she looked exactly like a deity.

Seeing their clan"s G.o.ddess being continuously bullied like this, how could they not be furious? How could they not want to fight?

Once they managed to gather all their members, TangShi has already ran back to his own clan"s doors, waiting for the battle.

[GUILD] FengChuiKuDangMaoFeiYang [13]: Little TangShi! That was beautiful! A few days ago I fought with them and lost quite a lot of weapons. They made us feel like we were overturned! Let"s continue today!

[GUILD] TangShi: You have no shame!

[GUILD] FengChuiKuDangMaoFeiYang: I don"t even have integrity, how can I have shame?! Come, my brothers! Burn all the men! s.n.a.t.c.h all the girls! Sell all the equipment!

[GUILD] TangShi: Since it"s like that, I"ve actually been curious about something since a long time ago. Your hair that rose, is it your leg hair, or….eh? What hair?!

[GUILD] BaiWanLuoLiGuoDaJiang [14]: Just got online and already seeing dirty things, I"m going to wash my eyes.

[GUILD] QiYue [15]: It"s obviously not chest hair, it"s already said the crotch…… tsk tsk tsk…….

[GUILD] FengChuiKuDangMaoFeiYang: Leg hair! It"s leg hair! Hey! I"ve picked up my integrity back already!

The people in the clan all ignored him, the whole group of people were discussing what kind of hair was this actually. The more they discussed, the deeper they went to, the closer they get to the truth.

Even when RanZhiJiangShan came in with help to beat people up, they were still discussing this topic. RanZhiJiangShan"s clan leader, YiQuLiBie [16], even went as far as to cast a skill on the group of people and knock down a huge part of the group.

[CURRENT] BaiWanLuoLiGuoDaJiang: Not leg hair! Under the crotch there is leg hair! …….Wait! f.u.c.k, how did I die!? Who did this!?

The people who were knocked down immediately reacted.

Tang Xiao quickly controlled her character to escape. She played as an Enchanter that was famous for mind control and causing confusion. She even managed to sneak in an attack here and there.

Standing on the roof, TangShi looked down at the densely packed group. This time, RanZhiJiangShan came with a lot of people. For their clan leader, YiQuLiBie to even personally bring a group, it seems like their restraints are reaching their limits.

To say, if we were to record down Tang Xiao and RanZhiJiangShan"s ill fated relationship, it could be turned into a serialised novel with millions of chapters already, guaranteed to be interesting. To summarise it, that year, Tang Xiao decided to take advantage of the free time she had from work and spent time playing Spirit Road. Of course, the main reason she played the game was because Spirit Road was endorsed by her G.o.d, Mu Zheng.

When she first started playing the game, she choose a healer character with a loli build and a moe face. She hasn"t even played for long when she suddenly got caught up in a group beating.

The two sides of the group beating was made up of RanZhiJiangShan and her current clan, MengHuXiuQiangWei [17]. Tang Xiao in that one hour time managed to get killed by RanZhiJiangShan"s SuMuZhe 50 plus times.

What kind of concept was 50 plus kills?! From beginning to the end, people could only lay on the floor as they watch them fight.

Tang Xiao, in a fit of pique, created a new ID, and became a male Enchanter. She spent a lot of money, all for the purpose of wanting to oppress RanZhiJiangShan. As long as it was things that could disgust RanZhiJiangShan, she dared to do them! As long as it was things that could make SuMuZhe explode, she dared to do!

After fighting for about a year, the name TangShi was already engraved into the hearts of the people in RanZhiJiangShan as a beast. And SuMuZhe and YiQuLiBie in her heart, was a pair of dogs.

[CURRENT] TangShi: Yo! Even YiQuLiBie has personally come! You guys came at  the right time! I was just about to say, if SuMuZhe and I get married, you have to become our eyewitness~ I will definitely treat SuMuZhe well, and make her feel that I"m very nice~

[CURRENT] JiuShif.u.xiao: Dream on!

[CURRENT] YiQuLiBie: Little TangShi, it can"t be that you lack love again? Come, come down, let us love [18] you dearly.

The members of RangZhiJiangShan faced the roof and released their skill. Tang Xiao dodged a few of the skill, then jumped into the group of people to cause a commotion. This Enchanter was famous for being vile, and Tang Xiao managed to showcase the vileness to its pinnacle. Can"t beat you? No problem! I"ll just disgust you to death.

Rubbing here and groping there. Sneaking an attack on a healer for a minute and blocking a Summoner the next. Tang Xiao used all the money on the Enchanter"s mind control abilities. Since the amount she could output on isn"t much anyway, might as well concentrate on disgusting others.

In the crowd, that wisp of purple voice, ran extremely fast, causing others to fall into the trap.
RanZhiJiangRan was famous for having a lot of healers whereas MengHuXiuQiangWei was famous for having despicable Enchanters. After one round of clan war, both sides were heavily injured.

In the clan channel, the ones who hid in the safe zones started talking.

[CLAN] TangShi: I can get rid of that f.u.c.ker to become angel, but I definitely can"t settle him. Huff! Spirit Road doesn"t allow two male characters to get married!

[CLAN] TangShi: Huff! No way! Not gay, not gay! I only hara.s.s women, don"t hara.s.s men.

The people of MengHuXiuQiangWei couldn’t catch up with the numbers, and slowly started to go offline to keep peace.

[CLAN] TangShi: It’s only 7……

[CLAN] FengChuiKuDangMaoFeiYang : Oh no, my son is awake. I’ll go coax him first.

[SYSTEM] Your good friend, FengChuiKuDangMaoFeiYang, is now offline.

[CURRENT] YiQuLiBie: Still fighting?

[CURRENT] YiQuLiBie: Sure.
Before Tang Xiao could even react, an earth shattering skill cry rang out. The computer even hanged for a few seconds.

Tang Xiao stared at the character lying on the ground, unmoving. There were no tears even if she wanted to cry. Why did she feel like wanting to go back to that period of time when she had just started playing? It’s fine if she died, but the people of RanZhiJiangRan even had to step all over her dead body.

[CURRENT] SuMuZhe: Let me tell you, don’t easily believe the words of beautiful people like us.

So shameless!!!

Tang Shi stood there and admired for a bit. The rumored Number 3 top alchemist, SuMuZhe. Before she could react, a fit of earth shattering skills appeared.

[CURRENT] SuMuZhe: Little TangShi, do I love you or not~
TangShi has finally found the source of the word love.

Things like hara.s.sing women, cannot be done leisurely. You have rise vigorously and attack!

[CURRENT] TangShi: G.o.ddess, I’m a stay at home good man! If you are hungry, I can let you eat down there……  [20]

[CURRENT] SuMuZhe: Why do I feel like there’s something wrong?

[CURRENT] YiQuLiBie: That’s right, you’re pure to the point of shamelessness.

[CURRENT] SuMuZhe: Alright.

[CURRENT] YiQuLiBie: …..

This alright by SuMuZhe made the whole group of people from RanZhiJiangRan to be stupefied. Being sold off by a bunch of Master Kang instant noodles? Wait, it seems like something"s not right? Tang Xiao stared at that "alright" by SuMuZhe, feeling a bit surreal. She pinched herself a bit…. Eh? Not dreaming?

SuMuZhe once again loved Tang Xiao, the body actively telling her that the ID was not stolen. Tang Xiao continuously kissed the floor as tears as broad as noodles flowed from her eyes.

Happy? How could she be? Previously, she held on to the fact that she had disgust RanZhiJiangRan to death. Who knew that the enemy could so easily checkmate her. She has played this game for one year, the amount of time she had confessed was innumerable but the amount of times she really got married was not even once!

Disgusting others for a month, who’d thought that one word from the other side , would make her feel like she just ate half a kilo of s.h.i.t.
She firmly went offline to keep peace. Sleep, sleep. The world is too crazy.

1 to keep Mu Zheng: as in maintain/keep as a mistress etc

2 RanZhiJiangShan: Literally “to get a share of the action + JiangShan”…. Jiang Shan can refer to either Mountains and rivers or the name of an actual place…. Name of a Clan/Guild.

3 TangShi: Tang dynasty poem

4 SuMuZhe: Su means something like to revive… Mu means something like a curtain or a screen… Zhe means something like to cover up a shortcoming

5 soak: is also slang for picking up girls or to get off (in a s.e.xual relationship)

6 wrap: can also mean to bother or annoy

7 p: the raws really said “p” , I a.s.sume it means “play” or “player”

8 JiuShif.u.xiao: Olden times before dawn

9 f.u.c.k: I"m not really a master of Chinese curse word so I don"t really know what it means… I do know it"s a curse word tho so I decided to just use an equivalent…

10 Less talk: well, it more like she said, "don"t instigate" but that sounds like an awfully formal thing to write in chat…

11 LanRe: Buddhist temple

12 smh: actually it wrote something like "– endure" but I don"t really know what that means orz

13 FengChuiKuDangMaoFeiYang: Wind blow, hair on pant"s crotch rise

14 BaiWanLuoLiGuoDaJiang: Millions of lolis crossing the great river

15 QiYue: July

16 YiQuLiBie: A song of parting

17 MengHuXiuQiangWei: Fierce tiger smelling j.a.panese rose

18 love: the word for "love" here can also mean "to hurt/to be in pain"

19 f.u.c.ker: lit. “bird person”… Chinese profanities *smh*

20 down there: I tried to preserve the meaning so the pun didn’t get through T^T rip… but the pun went something like, 你要是饿了的话我可以下面给你吃, literally, If you are to be hungry, I can down there give you to eat, where below (下面) can also mean 下 “work/make” and 面 “noodles”. So yeah, the pun was the sentence could be understood as either “If you are to be hungry, I can (let my) down there (to) give you (to) eat” or “If you are to be hungry, I can make noodles (to) give you (to) eat.”

Also, if you don’t get what letting someone eat down there means, then you might as well not know….

21 Master Kang instant noodles: a play on the Chinese instant noodles brand 康师傅 aka Master Kong.

Soooo much puns >__

But I love the MC, she’s cute~

The ML is pretty cute too

I’ll try to get it done ASAP~

By the way, I’m now 20 10 years old

I’m not a teenager anymore T^T  I’m finally a teenager o/

Go me! I hope I won’t die before this time next year~

Please be patient with me, everyone~

All the character pictures here are from the game 新倩女幽魂 which I have been addicted to lately~

All these are the basic character roles I screenshotted from the Character Role Selection screen~

The character roles translation are a bit weird and inaccurate. However, this is because I can’t really find the English equivalent. That, or I play too little MMORPGs to know >.>

In xqnyh, there’s actually 10 roles available and I think this novel follows that? Or maybe just Chinese MMORPGs are like that in general? I wouldn’t know tbh >.> xqnyh is my first Chinese MMORPG game….

Here’s a glossary of sort for the ones that have appeared

1. The healer one ( 医师) was easy enough to translate as the literal translation is, 医, which means medical and 师, which means teacher. Medical Teacher aka Healer. This is the only one I had no trouble translating, except the Chinese calls them 奶妈 which means wet nurse. That had me confused for a bit and made me question whether they were cursing or something…..

2. 异人 was very,very hard to translate. Probably because 异人 literally means an eccentric person. I had no idea how to translate this at all T^T. I can’t actually call a role an Eccentric now, can I?! I asked my cousin who plays the game too and he gave me the answer “The Evil Guy”… =.=”” My cousin is 15yo btw….. So I don’t blame him, I only blame myself for getting my hopes up…..

So I guess I’ll stick with “Summoner” until I get a better suggestion.

3. The word 魅 means magic or demon or to charm. And the word 者 is basically the “-ist” or “-er” found in profession. Here, I translated it as “user”. So, I concluded, magic/charm user = Enchanter. I actually went through a lot of other names before I concluded this btw. At some point, this was a mage, a magician and a caster.

4. The translation for 方士 was given to me by the dictionary so I’m very happy