"Aweel, maybe I wad; but, nevertheless, its kind o" you to offer me the shelter o" yer roof," replied Johnny.
Dunder Vander Dunder now took his friend into a tavern, and treated him to a gla.s.s of schnaps. Shortly thereafter the two embarked in a ca.n.a.l boat for Slootzsloykin, where they finally arrived in safety. Here Johnny met with the same kind treatment as before; and of that kindness there was no abatement during the whole fortnight of his sojourn. At the end of this period, Johnny Armstrong once more set out for Rotterdam, on the day previous to the sailing of the vessel in which he now hoped to reach his native land, without further molestation or interruption. And, certainly, everything had the appearance of going right on this occasion. The vessel, with Johnny on board, sailed at the appointed time, and, before embarking, he had read distinctly on the ticket--a large black board, with yellow letters, which was fastened to the shrouds--that she was bound for Leith, and was the identical vessel he had had in his eye. So far as this went, there could be no mistake whatever. There was, indeed, one little circ.u.mstance that startled Johnny, but which he had not discovered till the vessel had been some time at sea. This was, that all the crew were Dutchmen, there not being a Scotchman amongst them. The circ.u.mstance did not, indeed, greatly alarm Johnny, but he certainly did think it a little odd; for he naturally expected that, as she was a Leith vessel, her crew would be, for the most part, at any rate, natives of Britain. However, he made no remarks on the subject, thinking it, as it really was, a matter of perfect indifference whether they were Scotchmen or Dutchmen. There were two or three pa.s.sengers in the vessel besides himself; but they were all foreigners too, so that he could hold no converse with any of them; and thus debarred from intercourse with his fellow voyagers, he sat by himself, gazing from the deck of the vessel on the waste of waters with which he was surrounded, and musing on the strange series of mishaps of which he had so simply and innocently become the victim. It was while thus employed--the vessel having been now a good many hours at sea, and at the moment scudding away before a fine fresh breeze--that the captain approached Johnny, and in very polite and civil terms, demanded his pa.s.sage money. As he spoke in Dutch, however, the latter did not understand him. The captain observing this, and now guessing what countryman he was, addressed him in very good English, and in that language repeated his demand. With this demand, Johnny instantly complied; and, finding that he was a civil, good-natured fellow, began to open up a little conversation with him. His first remark was, that he hoped they would have good weather. The captain hoped so too. His second remark was, that they had a fine breeze. The captain agreed with him--said it was a delightful breeze--and added that, if it continued to blow as it then blew for four-and-twenty hours, he expected they would be all safe at _Rouen_!
"At whar?" shouted out Johnny, looking aghast at the speaker.
"At Rouen, to be sure," repeated the captain, wondering at Johnny"s amazement.
"Gude"s mercy!" exclaimed Johnny, with dreadful energy, "are ye no gaun to Leith?--is this no a Leith boat?"
"Oh, no," said the captain smiling; "this is the Rouen packet. Were ye not aware of that, sir? You have got into a sad sc.r.a.pe, my friend, if you were not," he added, and now laughing outright at the dismal expression of Johnny"s countenance.
"Heaven hae a care o" me!" said Johnny despairingly. "Did I no read distinctly on the ticket that was fastened to yer shroods, that ye were bound for Leith?"
"Yes, yes," replied the captain, "you may have seen such a ticket as you speak of, and there was certainly such a ticket on our shrouds as you say, but it did not refer to this ship, but to the vessel outside of us.
We allowed the board to be exhibited on our shrouds merely to accommodate our neighbour, as it could not be read from his--he being on the outside, and we next the quay. That, my friend, is a piece of civility very commonly practised at seaports by one vessel to another, when similarly situated as we and they were. You will see it at all quays and wharfs."
Johnny Armstrong groaned, but said nothing. At length, however, he muttered, in a tone of Christian-like resignation--
"The Lord"s will be dune! I see it"s settled that I am never to get hame again; but to be keepit gaun frae place to place ower the face o" the earth, like anither wanderin" Jew. Gude hae a care o" me, but this is awfu"! Its judgment like."
It certainly was very remarkable, but not in the least mysterious. This new mistake of Johnny, like all the rest, was a perfectly simple occurrence; and, like them, too, arose as plainly and naturally out of circ.u.mstances as it was possible for any effect to do from a cause. But, however, this may be, the captain--although he could not help laughing at the awkward predicament of his pa.s.senger--really felt for him, seeing the distress he was in, and was so much influenced by this feeling as to offer to convey him back to Rotterdam, to which, he said, he would return in two days, free of any charge; adding, with a smile, and with the kind intention of reconciling Johnny to what could not now be helped, that it was nothing, after all--that it would make a difference of only a few days--and that it would be always showing him a little more of the world.
"Mony thanks to ye," said Johnny, perceiving and appreciating the friendly purpose of the captain; "and I"ll e"en tak advantage o" yer kind offer; but as to seein" the world, by my faith, I"ve seen now about just as muckle o"t as I want to see, and maybe a trifle mair--a hantle mair, at ony rate, than I ever expected to see." Then, in a soliloquizing tone and manner--"G.o.d keep me, whar"s Brechin noo! A" that I wanted, and a" that I intended, was to get to that bit paltry place; and, instead o" that, here am I within a stane-cast o" the north pole, for aught I ken to the contrar, and, to a" appearances, no half dune wi"t yet. Heaven kens whar I"ll be sent niest!--maybe be landed on Owhyhee, or on some desert island, like another Robinson Crusoe. Na, it"s certain, if things gang on muckle langer this way."
Of the drift or scope of these remarks, or, at any rate, of the feelings that dictated them, the captain could make nothing, not knowing Johnny"s precise circ.u.mstances; nor did he seek to have them explained, but contented himself with repeating his offer of conveying Johnny back to Rotterdam, and renewing his well-meant efforts to reconcile him to his fate, in so far as his present voyage was concerned. In the meantime, the wind continued to blow in a manner perfectly satisfactory in every respect to all on board the _Jungfrau_ of Rotterdam and Rouen; and, in about the s.p.a.ce of time mentioned by the captain, the vessel reached her destination in safety. Johnny Armstrong, whose whole mind was absorbed by anxiety to reach that home which he yet seemed destined never again to see, took no interest whatever in the scenes presented to him in the part of the world he was now in. Indeed, he never left the vessel at all, for fear she would slip through his fingers; for, if he was afraid of accidents of this kind before, he was ten times more so now; and, with this fear upon him, that the packet might, by some chance or other, escape him, he determined to stick by her--never to lose sight of her for a moment, till she had conveyed him back to Rotterdam; and his vigilance ultimately secured the end he had in view. The _Jungfrau_ sailed from Rouen with Johnny on board, and, in due time, deposited him once more at Rotterdam. But what was Johnny"s surprise, what Dunder Vander Dunder"s amazement, when they again encountered one another, and that within ten minutes of the former"s landing! The amazement of the latter, however, was, on this occasion, evidently mingled with a degree of suspicion of the perfect uprightness of Johnny"s character. He began now to think, in short, that there had been more in the circ.u.mstance of Johnny"s apprehension than he had been informed of. He did not like these frequent reappearances; he thought them very odd--and he did not hesitate to say so.
"Mine Got! vat you here again for, man? Vat is de meaning of all dis, mine goot freend?" he exclaimed, with a somewhat dry and doubtful manner, quite at variance with the cordial tone of his former greetings.
Johnny Armstrong explained to him, but seemingly without obtaining implicit credence for all he said. When he had done--
""Tis veree odd," said Vander Dunder, coldly; "veree straunge. But, you really vant to go to Scotlan, dere is vessel going to sail for Leet now, and I vill see you on board mineself."
It was very questionable whether Vander"s civility, in this case, proceeded from a desire really to serve Johnny, or from a wish to get fairly rid of him. However this might be, Johnny readily accepted his offer, and at once accompanied him to the vessel he alluded to, which was, indeed, on the point of sailing. Vander, taking care that there should be no mistake in this case, conducted him down into the cabin, and waited on the quay till he saw the vessel fairly under weigh.
Having brought the disasters of Johnny Armstrong to this point, we proceed now to finish what we a.s.sure our readers, is an "ower true tale."
As we were strolling down the pier of Leith, with a friend, one afternoon in the year 18--, we saw a vessel making for the harbour. It was high water, and the scene altogether was a very pleasing and a very stirring one. But, amongst the various objects of interest that presented themselves, there was none that attracted so much of our attention as the stately vessel that, with outspread canvas, was rapidly nearing the pier. We asked a seaman who stood beside us, where she was from. He replied--"Rotterdam."
On approaching the pier, the vessel shortened sail, and, by this process, enabled us deliberately to scan her decks from our elevated position, as she glided gently along with us. During this scrutiny, we observed amongst the pa.s.sengers a stout little man in a brown greatcoat, with a large red comforter about his neck, and his hat secured on his head--for it was blowing pretty hard--by a blue pocket-handkerchief, which was pa.s.sed beneath his chin, and gave him, in a very particular manner, the peculiar air of a traveller or _voyageur_. There was nothing whatever in the appearance of the little man in the brown greatcoat which would have led any one to suppose, _a priori_, that there possibly could be anything remarkable or extraordinary in his history; but I was induced suddenly to change my opinion, or at least to take some interest in him, by my friend"s exclaiming, in the utmost amazement, and, at the same time, pointing to him with the red comforter--
"Gracious Heaven, if there is not Johnny Armstrong! Or it is his ghost!"
"No ghost at all, we warrant you," said we; "ghosts do not generally wear greatcoats and red comforters. But who in all the world is Johnny Armstrong?"
"Johnny Armstrong," replied our friend, greatly excited, "is a person, a particular acquaintance of mine, who has been missing these six weeks; and who was supposed, by everybody who knew him, to have perished by some accident or other, but of what nature could never be ascertained, on his way to Brechin, where he had gone to visit some relations."
We felt interested in Johnny, by this brief sketch of his mysterious story; and, not a little curious to know where on earth he could possibly have been all the time, we readily closed with our friend"s proposal to run round to the berth for which we saw the vessel was making, and to await his coming on sh.o.r.e.
"But how, in all the world," said our friend, communing with himself during this interval, "has he got into a vessel from Rotterdam? He could not have been there, surely? It"s impossible."
As to this we could say nothing, not knowing at the time anything at all of Johnny"s adventures; but of these we were not now long kept in ignorance. On his stepping on sh.o.r.e, our friend seized him joyously by the hand, and expressed great satisfaction at seeing him again. This satisfaction appeared to be mutual; for Johnny returned his friend"s grasp with great cordiality and warmth. The first salutations over--
"But where on all the earth, Mr. Armstrong," said our friend, "have you been for these three months back?"
Johnny smiled, and said it was "ower lang a tale" to tell where we then were; but, as he meant to stop either in Leith or Edinburgh for the night, it being now pretty far in the evening, if my friend and I would adjourn with him to some respectable house, where he could get a night"s quarters, he would give us the whole story of his adventures. With this proposal we readily closed; and on Johnny asking if we could point out such a house as he alluded to, we at once named the New Ship Tavern.
Thither we accordingly repaired; and, in less than two hours thereafter, we were put, good reader, in possession, by Johnny himself, of that part of his story to which the preceding pages have been devoted. What follows--for Johnny"s misfortunes had not yet terminated--we learned afterwards from another quarter.
On the next day--we mean the day succeeding the evening we spent with Johnny--the latter proceeded to Edinburgh, with the view of taking coach there for Carlisle. But, in making his way up Catherine Street, and when precisely opposite No. 12, Calton Street--we like to be particular--Johnny found himself suddenly accosted by one of his oldest and most intimate friends. This was a Mr. James Stevenson, a fellow-townsman and fellow-shopkeeper of his own.
The astonishment of the latter, on meeting with Johnny, and, indeed, of finding him at all in the land of the living, was very great; and he sufficiently expressed this feeling by the lively and highly excited manner in which he addressed him.
Having put the usual queries, with that air of intense interest which they naturally excited, as to where Johnny had been, what he had been about, &c. &c., and having obtained a brief sketch of his adventures, with the promise of a fuller one afterwards, Mr. Stevenson, in reply, asked Johnny what course he was now steering.
"Hame, to be sure," said Johnny, with a smile. "It"s time noo, I think--I"m just sae far on my way to tak" oot a ticket for the coach."
"Ye needna do that unless ye like," replied Johnny"s friend. "Ye may save your siller, and no be abune an hour langer tarried, by takin" a seat wi" me in the gig I hae in wi" me. I"m sure ye"re welcome, and I"ll be blythe o" your company."
"Hae ye a gig in wi" ye?" said Johnny, looking pleased by the intelligence.
""Deed hae I, Mr. Armstrong, and ye"ll just clink down beside me in"t."
"I"ll do that wi" great thankfu"ness," replied Johnny, "and muckle obleeged by the offer."
The friends now walked away, arm in arm together; and in about two hours afterwards--Mr. Stevenson having, in the meantime, despatched what business he had to do in the city--they were both, seated in the gig, and birring it on merrily towards Carlisle.
Neither Mr. Stevenson nor Johnny, however, were great whips--a deficiency which was by no means compensated for by the circ.u.mstance of their having a rather spirited horse, although blind of an eye. He was, in truth, a very troublesome animal; boggling and shying at everything that presented itself to his solitary optic. Notwithstanding this, the travellers got on very well for a time, and were whirling over the ground at a rapid rate, when an unlucky cart of hay came in their way at a narrow turn of the road. How this simple occurrence should have operated so unfavourably as it did for them, we shall explain.
A cart of hay is not a very alarming object to rational creatures like ourselves, but to the one-eyed horse of the travellers it appeared a very serious affair; for it had no sooner presented itself to his solitary organ of vision than he p.r.i.c.ked up his ears, snorted furiously, and began to exhibit sundry other symptoms of disquietude. By dint, however, of some well-directed punishment from Jamie Stevenson"s whip, which Johnny increased by an energetic application of his stick, the restive animal was brought _up_ to the waggon of hay; but, for some time, the inducements just mentioned failed to prevail on him to _pa.s.s_ it.
At length, however, Johnny having added greatly to the vigour of his blows with his stick, and his neighbour to that of his strokes with the whip, the horse _did_ pa.s.s the waggon, and that with a vengeance. Taking heart, or rather becoming desperate, he bolted past it with the rapidity of a cannon shot; and not only this, but when he had cleared it, continued the velocity of his movements with unabated energy, to the great discomfort and no small terror of both Johnny and his companion, who now found themselves going at a rate which they had neither antic.i.p.ated nor desired. Indeed, this was so very great that both directly saw that something was wrong. Both saw, in short, what was, indeed, too true, that the horse had fairly run away with them; for he was now going like the wind, with fury and distraction in his looks. It was a shocking and most dreadfully alarming affair; and so Johnny and his friend felt it to be, as might be distinctly seen by their horror-stricken faces.
On discovering the predicament they were in, both the travellers--the one dropping his whip, and the other his stick--seized on the reins, and began pulling with all their might, in the desperate hope of checking the animal"s speed by main force; Johnny, in his terror, exclaiming the while, distractedly--
"Mair o"t yet, mair o"t yet! Lord have a care o" me, but this is awfu"!
This is waur than onything I hae met wi" yet. Waur than the _Fifteen Sisters_, Dutchmen, and a". G.o.d be wi" us! are my misfortunes never to hae an end, till they hae finished me outricht? Am I never to get safe to either ae place or anither?--either to hame or to Brechin? Surely ane o" them might be permitted to me. O, Jamie, see hoo he"s gaun! He doesna seem to fin" us at his hurdies, nae mair than if we war a pair o"
preencushions."
This was true enough. The horse in his fury did not indeed seem to feel either them or the vehicle they were seated in, but pushed madly onwards, till he came to where the road divided itself into two distinct roads--the one being the right one, and the other, of course, the wrong--when, as if inspired by Johnny"s evil genius, he at once took the latter, and in little more than twenty minutes, had him and his friend fully half as many miles out of their way. Now, however, the catastrophe was to be wound up. A milestone caught one of the wheels of the gig, canted it over, and threw Johnny sprawling on the road with a broken leg; his friend, although also thrown, escaping wholly unhurt.
"Aweel, here it"s at last," said Johnny, sitting up in the mud amongst which he had been planted, and fully believing that his injuries were fatal. "Here it"s at last. I"m clean dune for noo, after a" my escapes.
It may be noo plainly seen, I think," he went on, "that some evil spirit has had me in its power, for these six weeks past at ony rate, and has been gowfin" me about the world like a fitba", to kill me wi" a gig at last."
Luckily, Johnny"s injuries did not prove so serious as he had feared they would do; and no less fortunate was it that the accident to which they were owing happened not far from a small country town in which there was a resident surgeon. To the latter place Johnny was immediately removed on a temporary bier, hastily constructed for the purpose by some labouring men who chanced to be near the spot where the accident happened, and there he lay for six entire weeks, when the surgeon above alluded to, and who had attended him all that time, intimated to him that he might now venture to return home. Delighted with the intelligence, Johnny instantly acted on it, and next day entered Carlisle triumphantly in a post-chaise--not looking, nor really being, after all, much the worse for his unprecedented adventures, save and except a lameness in the injured limb, which ever after imparted to his movements the graceful up-and-down motion produced by that peculiar longitudinal proportion of the nether limbs, designated by the descriptive definition of "a short leg and a shorter." Having, with this last occurrence, concluded the story of Johnny"s disasters, we have only to add that Johnny has never, to this good hour, got the length of Brechin--nor will, he says, ever again make the attempt.
THE PROFESSOR"S TALES.[4]