"Could you ever see yourself living there?" she asked, intrigued, trying to forget her worries about Allie. He was right. There was nothing she could do but wait, hope, and pray. And see what happened.
"No, I couldn"t," he said in answer to her question about Norway. "Not after living here. The winters are endless there, and it"s dark all day long. It"s kind of primeval. I don"t think I"d survive anymore out of California."
"Yeah, me too." The idea of moving to New York again made her shudder. Although she would have liked the opportunity to pursue her artwork there. But she could do it in California too. She just hadn"t bothered. Brad had always made her feel that it was something she should do for friends, or in their kitchen. Not something she should ever work at. Somehow he felt that what she did wasn"t important. She"d promised to do another mural for the school, but spending every spare moment at the hospital, she didn"t have time now.
"You ought to do something here," Trygve said later, looking around them. The waiting room was a dismal place, and the hallway was worse. "It"s so depressing. One of your murals would give people something to think about while they wait. They make you happy just looking at them," he said admiringly.
"Thank you. I enjoy it." She looked around the room, thinking of what she could do there, but hoping she wouldn"t be there long enough to do it.
"Am I going to meet your mother while she"s here?" he asked comfortably, and Page rolled her eyes while he laughed. "She can"t be that bad."
"Actually, she"s worse, but she can be pretty subtle about it when she wants to. She refuses to face anything disagreeable. Or discuss it. This is going to present quite a challenge for her."
"At least she sounds cheerful. What about your sister?"
Page could only laugh. "She"s very special. They both are. I didn"t see them at all for the first few years after I came out here, and then my father died, and I felt sorry for my mother, so I invited her out. That was a mistake. She and Brad fought like cats and dogs every day, subtly of course, it"s all very pa.s.sive aggressive, but it gives me a stomachache to be around it. And of course she thought I had no idea how to bring up Allie."
"At least she can"t complain about that now," he said encouragingly.
"No, but she won"t approve of the doctor. David, my brother-in-law, will probably have heard that he"s a quack and about to be sued for malpractice. The hospital will be all wrong. Not to mention the really important stuff, like how bad the hairdresser is at I. Magnin."
"They can"t be that bad."
"They"re worse." But behind the humor he sensed that there was more. Page was too grown up, and too at ease with herself to dislike them as much as she did, if there weren"t more to it. But it was also obvious that she didn"t want to share it with him, and he didn"t press her. She was ent.i.tled to her secrets.
He went back to Chloe eventually, and she to Allyson, and Page finally came to Chloe"s room at five o"clock, and sat down and chatted with her. Chloe was still in a fair amount of pain, and her extensive casts and pins and contraptions looked pretty miserable, but she was handling it well, and she was happy to be alive. She was very worried about Allie. Trygve had told her pretty honestly that she still might die. She wasn"t out of the woods yet. Jamie was there that afternoon too, and asked for news of Allyson as soon as he saw her mother.
"How is she?" Chloe asked the moment Page came into the room.
"The same. How about you? Driving the nurses wild, flirting with the residents, ordering pizzas all night long? The usual stuff?" Page grinned and Chloe laughed at the description.
"That and more," Trygve teased, and Chloe laughed. She was a real teenager and it did their hearts good to see it.
"Good." Page only wished that Allyson were doing the same things. But surely so did the Chapmans about Phillip. She could only imagine how they must feel only two weeks after the accident, and her heart ached whenever she thought of them. However awful things were with Allyson, there was still hope. But there was no hope for the Chapmans.
Jamie said that he had seen them a few days before and Mrs. Chapman was still in pretty bad shape. Mr. Chapman had told him he was suing the paper for the article that seemed to blame Phillip. Jamie mentioned too that a reporter had come to see him again, to ask him what it was like to be the only one who"d escaped unscathed. But for the most part, the press interest finally seemed to have faded.
They left Chloe at six o"clock, when the pizza Trygve had ordered for her arrived. Jamie stayed to share it with her, and Trygve drove Page back to his place.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" he asked hopefully.
"I"d love to, but I should probably go home in case Brad shows up. He probably won"t, but if he does, Andy will be upset to miss him." Trygve didn"t press, and despite Andy and Bjorn"s protests, Page took Andy home, but Brad never came home until the next morning. And then, in spite of all Page"s promises to herself, there was the usual explosion.
"What was all that bulls.h.i.t the other night about wanting to stay here, and not being sure of what you wanted? Who are you kidding with that s.h.i.t?" She was livid. She was tired of living like this, while he pursued his own life with another woman.
"I"m sorry. I should have called. I don"t know what happened ... I just didn"t." He did know what had happened, of course, but he couldn"t tell Page. He had gone away overnight with Stephanie and there was no way he could call her from their hotel room. Stephanie hadn"t left him for a single minute, and she had been furious on Sunday morning when he had insisted on driving back. But not as furious as Page had been when he walked in at noon, having never called her. She and Andy had been just about to leave for the airport. "Look, I"m sorry," he said helplessly, feeling like a moron. He was ricocheting between two worlds and two women, and not handling either very well.
"Why don"t you just ask me if Allie is still alive," Page said cruelly. It wasn"t like her to be so unkind, but she had really had it with him.
"Oh my G.o.d ... is she? ... oh Page ..." His eyes filled instantly with tears as Page watched him coldly.
"No, she didn"t die. But she could have, and where would I have called you, Brad? As usual, you never even called us."
"You b.i.t.c.h!" He slammed the door to the bedroom, and Andy started to cry. They were always fighting.
"I"m sorry, sweetheart." She bent down and held him, and Brad didn"t come out of the bedroom again. She didn"t pursue him either. They left for the airport, and Andy was very quiet on the way. So was Page, she was thinking of the way Brad had looked when he came home. He looked young, and refreshed, and happy, until he saw her. But it was Andy she was worried about as they drove to the airport. He looked heartbroken as he stared out the window.
Her mother and Alexis were among the first pa.s.sengers off the plane. Her mother looked trim as usual, with beautifully done white hair, and a navy suit that showed off her slim figure. Alexis looked striking in a pale pink Chanel suit, her blond hair perfectly done, her exquisite artificial features made up like the cover of Vogue. Vogue. She was carrying a black alligator Hermes bag and matching tote, as she carefully kissed the air near Page"s cheek and said a cautious h.e.l.lo to Andy. She was carrying a black alligator Hermes bag and matching tote, as she carefully kissed the air near Page"s cheek and said a cautious h.e.l.lo to Andy.
"You look wonderful, dear," her mother said happily, looking past her. "Where"s Brad?"
"He"s at home. He didn"t have time to come, but he said to tell you he was sorry." She had no idea if he"d even be there when they got back. There was no predicting his appearances these days, and covering that up during her mother"s visit wasn"t going to be easy. But she didn"t want to discuss the demise of her marriage with her, and her mother wouldn"t want to hear it.
They waited for their luggage at the baggage claim, and fortunately all of it arrived safely. A porter staggered under the mountain of bags they had brought. Alexis"s were all matched Gucci cases.
"How"s Allyson?" Alexis asked cautiously on the drive home, and Page started to explain her current status, still deep in her coma. But her mother cut her off almost as soon as she spoke, and told her how divine the weather had been in New York, and how great Alexis"s apartment looked these days, since she"d redone it.
"That"s nice," Page said quietly. Nothing had changed. They were the same pair who had come out before. The only mystery was why she always expected two different people. All her life she had expected her mother to be someone else, someone homey and warm, who cared and really listened. And she always hoped that Alexis would turn out to have pigtails and freckles and a heart. But they never changed. Her mother spoke of only pleasant things, and Alexis hardly spoke at all, she was too busy being perfect and looking pretty. Page had always wondered what she and David talked about, if anything. He was a lot older than her sister was, and he was always in surgery ...much of it obviously spent on redoing his wife, which seemed to be a full-time occupation for him.
"How has the weather been here?" her mother inquired as they crossed the bridge where Allyson"s life had been destroyed. Page couldn"t drive across it anymore without feeling nauseous and dizzy.
"The weather?" she said blankly. Who knew? She was in ICU all the time, or fighting with Brad. Who had time to look at the weather? "I think it"s been fine. I haven"t really noticed."
"And Andy, how"s your arm? What a silly thing to do!" his grandmother cooed, as Andy showed Alexis all the places where people had signed. Bjorn had even drawn a picture of a little dog, Andy always grinned when he said it looked just like Richie Green"s hamster. But he loved Bjorn, and he was proud of their budding friendship. He loved telling his friends at school that he had a friend who was eighteen. And of course no one ever believed him.
Page was surprised that Brad was waiting for them at home. And he was very cordial to both Alexis and their mother. He carried in their mountain of bags, and set her mother"s up for her in the guest room. Her mother was going to sleep in the large double bed, and normally Alexis would have slept in it with her, but this time she had asked if she could sleep in Allyson"s bedroom. Page didn"t really want her to, right now it felt like something of a shrine. Nothing had been touched since the night Allyson left to go out to dinner with Chloe.
But Brad said it was fine. And Page forced herself to overcome her reservations. It was foolish for them to sleep in the same bed, when they had another empty bedroom. It just underlined even more starkly the fact that Allyson wasn"t there, and it made Page uncomfortable to have someone else in her s.p.a.ce, but it couldn"t be helped, and she knew she was foolish to resent it.
Alexis asked her for a drink. She wanted cold Evian without ice, and her mother said that she would love a cup of coffee and a little sandwich while she unpacked her things. It was typical of Page"s experience with them, and she went to the kitchen, without saying a word, and made whatever they wanted.
It was four-thirty by then, and Page was anxious to get to the hospital. She hadn"t been all day, and she was sure that her mother and Alexis would want to see Allie. She mentioned it as the two women joined her in the living room, and her mother complimented her on the new couch, and drapes, and new paintings.
"You do such nice work, dear." Like Brad, her mother treated her artwork like a charming hobby, and always had. Page"s brief experience with the stage had horrified her, and she was relieved that she had never tried to do that sort of thing in California.
Page glanced at her watch uncomfortably. It was after four-thirty. "I thought maybe we"d go to the hospital. I"m sure you want to see Allie." But the two women exchanged a glance, and Page realized that she had been foolish again. The hospital was not on their agenda.
"We"ve had such a long day," Maribelle Addison said quietly, leaning back against the couch. "And Alexis is just exhausted. She"s recuperating from a terrible cold," her mother explained as Alexis nodded. "Don"t you think it would be better to go in the morning?" she asked, looking wide-eyed as Page struggled for words for a moment.
"I ... uh ... of course, if you"d prefer ...I just thought ..." How stupid of her to think they would want to see Allie. They were probably scared to death of seeing her. Why on earth had they come, she wondered, except that it was a diversion for them, and they deluded themselves that they were doing something nice for Page, which of course they weren"t.
"I think tomorrow would be much better, dear. Don"t you think so, Brad?" she asked as he came into the room, looking dazed. Stephanie had just called him at home right in the middle of the day and issued an ultimatum. And she was insisting that he take her out to dinner that night to discuss it.
"I ... uh ... I think you"re right, Mari-belle. You"re probably both tired, and seeing her is pretty upsetting." It annoyed Page to hear what he said. She went to get her bag without a word, and told them she"d be back at six o"clock to fix dinner.
"Will you be here to keep an eye on Andy?" she asked Brad before she left, and he nodded.
"I have to go somewhere when you get back though. Is that okay?"
"Do I have a choice?" she said sotto voce.
"I really need to pick up some papers in the city."
She nodded and didn"t say more, and told her mother she"d see her in a little while. Alexis was lying down on Allyson"s bed, resting.
Page fumed all the way to the hospital about how stupid she had been to let them come out, and then she laughed at herself. What a mess it all was. Allyson was in a coma, Brad was having an affair, Andy had broken his arm, and now she was stuck with her sister and her mother. It was the cla.s.sic definition of a nightmare.
She saw Trygve leaving the hospital on her way in, and he stopped for a moment to talk to her. He had dropped in to see her at ICU, but figured he had missed her.
"How"s Mom?" It was obvious from his eyes that he was happy to see her.
She laughed, suddenly amused at the absurdity of her situation. "So predictable it makes me laugh. You wouldn"t believe them."
"Where are they now?" He was surprised not to see them.
"My mother is admiring my new couch. And my sister is resting. Actually, she looks like she"s gotten even more anorexic. She arrived dripping Chanel, and carrying alligator hand luggage."
"How impressive. And they couldn"t make it to the hospital?"
"Too tired," Page explained. "Alexis is getting over a cold. And Brad told them they were right, it would just be too upsetting."
"Oh my G.o.d."
"You got it. I guess tomorrow will be the big day, unless Alexis needs to get her nails done."
"And what happened to you? How did you escape? Why aren"t you at the hairdresser all day long instead of painting murals and driving car pools?"
"Just stupid, I guess. I never got the message."
"Maybe your dad was okay," he said, that would explain it, but she shook her head and looked away.
"Not really." And then she looked back at Trygve. "I"m just an aberration, I guess. The best news of all would be that I was adopted, my sister used to say I was, but unfortunately, she lied. It would make things easier now anyway." He was laughing at the way she described them.
"Nick always used to tell Chloe that. That she was adopted. Kids love to torture each other with that stuff."
"In my case, it would have been a blessing." She glanced at her watch and saw how late it was, and she knew she had to get home to cook dinner. "I"d better get in to see Allie."
"The therapist was there when I went by. Everything looked pretty normal."
"Thanks for checking." She hesitated then, and as he leaned toward her she didn"t move away. Their lips brushed and their eyes held. "I"m glad I saw you," she whispered as she left.
"So am I," he shouted after her, and waved.
She found Allyson in the usual state, and everything status quo. She sat with her for an hour, and told her Grandma had come for a visit with Aunt Alexis. She told her all the latest things Andy had said, and reminded her again and again how much they loved her. She told her anything and everything that she could think of except that her marriage was falling apart, and Brad had a girlfriend.
Page kissed her gently on the forehead when she left, and stood back to look at the bandages for a long time. Brad was right, she just didn"t see it anymore. But it was very upsetting.
She felt subdued on the drive home, and exhausted when she opened the door. She could hear her mother"s voice, and Alexis was on the phone to David in New York, complaining about the service on the airplane. Not a word about Allyson, and only Andy asked her how she was as she started to make dinner.
"Are you sure she"s gonna be okay?" he asked worriedly, pressing her today of all days, but he looked anxious.
Page stopped to look at him, and pulled him closer to her so she could hug him. "No ...I"m not sure ... I hope she will be. But we don"t know yet. She might ..." She couldn"t bring herself to say the words to him, but she knew she had to. "She could still die ... but she might not. She might be okay, or she might be like Bjorn when she wakes up. We just don"t know yet."
"Like Bjorn?" He looked startled, he had never fully understood that.
"More or less." Or she might not be able to walk ...she could be blind ... or not like Bjorn at all. She could be totally r.e.t.a.r.ded.
"What are you two talking about?" her mother asked, interrupting them as she wandered into the kitchen.
"We were talking about Allyson."
"I was just telling Andrew she was going to be fine." She smiled at both of them and Page wanted to kill her. It was not fair to do that to him, and she wouldn"t let her.
"We hope she will, Mother," Page said firmly, "but we don"t know that for sure. It all depends on when, and if, she comes out of the coma."
"That"s like sleeping, except you don"t wake up, you just stay asleep," he explained to his grandmother, as Brad joined them. Page saw that he was wearing a suit, and she struggled not to comment on it as she saw him.
"I"ll be back later," he said quietly to Page, as she raised an eyebrow in question.
"Will you? I won"t hold my breath."
"Thanks," he said, and ruffled Andy"s hair as he left. "Good night, Maribelle," he called over his shoulder.
"Good night, dear." And then, after he was gone, "He"s a good-looking man," she said to Page, "you"re a lucky girl." She wanted to tell her that she used to think so too, but she no longer did. But she went back to cooking dinner and said nothing.
Predictably, dinner was a painful meal. Alexis chased a tiny piece of meat and some salad around her plate and basically ate nothing. She said as little as she ate, and her mother dominated most of the conversation, talking about her friends, her apartment in New York, and Alexis"s fabulous garden in East Hampton. She had three j.a.panese gardeners, and did none of it herself, and she seemed a lot less excited about it than their mother. She wasn"t excited about anything, except Chanel. And none of them had mentioned Allyson even once by the end of the evening.
They both went to bed when Andy did, explaining that they were still on New York time, and it irked Page terribly to hear sounds coming from Allyson"s room. She closed her own bedroom door so she couldn"t hear it. It seemed a sacrilege, and a terrible intrusion.
She lay on her bed quietly for a long time, thinking about them, and how unhappy her life had been with them. They had made it a living h.e.l.l for her until she left. Seeing them always brought the memories back again. Tears squeezed slowly out of her eyes as she thought of it. And then she forced her mind back to the present.
It was after midnight when Brad came in. She was still awake, but the lights were off and she was in bed. She turned over in the dark and looked at him, and he looked tired and unhappy. She was surprised to see him.
"Did you have a nice time?" she asked. They both knew where he had been. It was a lot to absorb, and she was struggling with it. But from the look on his face, so was he. He stood looking at her for a long time before he answered. He was trapped between two worlds, and both were causing him pain at the moment.
"Not really. This isn"t the peachy keen situation you think it is."
"I guess not ... for either of us."
"I know how hard it is for you," he said softly. He sounded like the old Brad for a moment, but he didn"t come any closer. "Maybe I should have gone on lying to you ... I don"t know ...maybe it was time you knew. We couldn"t go on like this forever." The trouble was that she could. She had had no idea what he was up to.
"I"m trying to do the right thing for everyone now. And I"m just not sure what that is." She nodded. There was nothing she could say to him. Their lives hung in the balance.
"Maybe you should just concentrate on Allyson, and forget about it for a while. Maybe right now isn"t the right time to be making decisions."
"I know that." But Stephanie was feeling miserable, and wanted him to prove something to her. It wasn"t fair, but that"s how she was handling it, and he didn"t want to lose her. She had never met Allyson, or Page, they meant nothing to her. All she wanted was Brad, and she wasn"t going to let him dangle her any longer. For almost a year she had been perfectly happy sleeping with him whenever they could, having a good time on occasional business trips, and a rare stolen weekend. But she was twenty-six and she had decided that it was time for her to get married and have kids. And Brad Clarke was the man she wanted.
Page lay quietly for a long time, and eventually he came to bed, but he didn"t lay a hand on her. Everything was working perfectly again ...with Stephanie at least, but he knew that he and Page could ill afford another fiasco. And he had no desire at all to try it.