22Night of the Moonlight Gra.s.s
The Generalcarried me into our box and shut the door firmly behind us. He sat me on thecouch. The box seats in the theatre were close to the stage. There were threesingle seats right before the balcony and the settee behind them.
GeneralBrennan kneeled before me and took my hand, and looked up at me with hisbeautiful hazel eyes.
‘I surprisedyou, I apologise.’
‘No. Thank youfor helping me tonight. I caused you further trouble embroiling you in mytroubles, and did not thank you properly. I…even let you say something likethat.’
I’m so sorry.But an apology won’t rectify the situation. General Brennan had a “girl-hobby”[1] is what people will be saying. I would be beyond help if such a thinghappened. But was the general someonelike that? I couldn’t tell. (Zuben: He’s not an ero-oyaji. Well he is but notthat kind…?)
But wasn’tthat such a big bomb he dropped? (Zuben: It certainly was) It was amazing.Everyone was taken aback, and were shocked still! What was he doing with me?This kind of great man?
‘I was goingto flirt, woo you or beg for your love; that sort of thing…?’
I don’t wantyou to say it out loud! It makes me feel like I’m walking on air. Is hepossibly interested in me? I can’t even dream of the possibility. But the hazeleyes before me are unwavering. He didn’t look like he was ashamed to say it. Helooked at me seriously with sincerity. No…it couldn’t possibly! I’m just beingoverly self conscious. That right, isn’t it?
Yet, GeneralBrennan has not let go of my hand. I’m afraid my palms would get sweaty soon. Icould feel my body heating up. Was it because of the alcohol? Or was it becausethe General’s large hand was over mine and he was stroking me?
This iscounterproductive! I wanted to shout.
I feel strangewhen he strokes me. I wanted to withdraw my hand but Brennan wouldn’t let me.
‘Do you not likeme?’ he asked looking sadly at me.
‘No, that’snot it.’ I protest in rush. Why was he asking whether I disliked him? Was itbecause of the flirt remark or was it because I was trying to pull my hand awayfrom his. It’s because my body is being 『zowazowa』 (Zuben: Hmm,zowa zowa huh?)
GeneralBrennan’s eyes widened and he smiled at my answer.
‘If that isthe case…if you do not dislike me, may I be presumptuous?’
I don’tdislike, rather, I like you! If the General truly wanted a “girl hobby”, I wouldlike to raise my hand for candidacy. But I could not tell him such a shamelessthing, could I? I’m sorry but it is useless isn’t it?
He looked so elegantand strong…
‘I dislikesuch things, but…’
He was theheirloom sword of the country; I wanted to say “We need to come up with astrategy to deal with this development!”
GeneralBrennan would surely be convinced to come up with a good reason.
However…
‘If you do notdislike me, if you have even a little like for me…Fredericka, if you areagreeable, I would like to ask you so marry me as soon as possible.’ (Zuben:General Brennan uses 『Bulldozer』)
I adore you,so please don’t say such self depreciating things General Brennan.
But did hejust say what I think he said? (Zuben: General Brennan causes 『stun』again)
My reason wasstunned.
I would neverhave imagined that in a million years.
His wife! Nothis mistress?!
Oh mygoodness…my face burned and turned red. Oh my goodness, I couldn’t think Icouldn’t think of the two of us together…because the thought would cause anosebleed!
[1] Author’snote: Thank you for reading.
A “girl hobby”is a made up phrase to represent a girl as a mistress rather than using theword mistress. I couldn’t think of any other word for it.
Zuben: Volkerhad made his move! Kyaa!
23What you think is shameful depends on you
‘Wwife,but…’
GeneralBrennan kissed my hand and held mine in his big hands and looked at me. Underhis handsome eyebrows, his hazel eyes glittered.
Aeeeeee!
I’m filledwith emotions that I cannot understand,
Was thisperhaps, because, he had heard the rumours and wanted to irritate the badpeople?
I was soembarra.s.sed and I wanted to make sure I did not have a nose bleed. But when Iwanted to take my hands away, he still would not let me go. (Zuben: You’ve beencaught, kitty) I wouldn’t be able to ascertain the state of my face withoutforce.
GeneralBrennan gave me an indulgent smile. Ah, I am in trouble, I thought, as Ireluctantly looked away.
‘I’m sorry, mymind had run away,’ I said with a trembling embarra.s.sed laugh.’
‘May I sitnext to you?’ he asked.
‘Oh yesplease,’ I nodded. General Brennan’s expression gained its usual calmness. Imoved my body to give him s.p.a.ce but he sat as close to me as possible on thesettee. He hadn’t let my hand go yet.
‘I feel like Iwould boil in anger when I think of you talking and getting along with menother than me. I’m being a jealous man, aren’t I?’ (Zuben: Yes, but we love youanyway, General!)
‘I know thereare men that would suit you better – younger men, but I don’t want theirdisgusting persons near you.’
I watched himin surprise and embarra.s.sment, while watching out for nosebleeds. Wow, wow,General. Please stop. Don’t say thoughtless things like with such a troublesomeface. I don’t think my nasal mucosa will be able to take it. (Zuben:hahahahaha!)
I did not wantto doubt him, but did he really feel this way about me? Can I answertruthfully? Am I allowed?
I?!
‘My Lady,please tell me if you don’t like me, and do not care for this, and I willstop.’ He said but his expression was sad as he gently held my hand.
I was hopinghe would let me go, I want to separate just a little bit so I could thinkclearly. His big, warm hands around mine was all I could think about. I quicklypulled my hand away and it escaped with a pop. Finally free of the General’shands, I feel into a spiral of thought.
For example:what are his intentions holding my hands? (Zuben: overwhelm you with bodywarmth) Was he telling the truth? Can I reply honestly? Was someone like me okay?Oh, what to do?
‘LadyFredericka,’ the General looked at me with sad eyes, and I got a tight feelingin my chest.
I like him.
At thatmoment, my mother’s voice echoed in my head, “Try to tempt him. Speak honestly.If he likes you, he will want to date you if you want to date him.”
I guess evenif I thought the General was being ashamed of not being truthful, I will beable to laugh about my disgraceful incident. I’m sure there are people whowould laugh at me! (Zuben: Poor Fredericka)
Even if I ammortified, I should not let the General feel mortified. Do not let yourfavourite person feel embarra.s.sed. That is the motto of the Castley family!
A woman’scourage, come to me!
I took a deepbreath said, ‘I do like you. I do love you. If General Brennan does not mind, Iknow I am not a reputable person, please give me everything.’ (Zuben:Everything? What everything?)
At the momentI touched his hand, he pulled me into a fierce hug.
Ugfu!
I made astrange sound as he hugged me with too much strength, but bore with guts!(Zuben: Go girl) General Brennan; the strongest soldier since the founding ofthe country till now. Well, I didn’t learn how to give out cute voices in timesof peril from my mother!
‘LadyFredericka…Fredericka!’
Hi ~i~iiiiya~a!My name! He called my name with such a sweet voice, right in my ear. It isinduces such a strong sensation 『fuo~o~o~o~a 』 (Zuben: hmmhm.)
I didn’t seethe play after all. Well not much of it. Because I was on the General’s lapagain, and he was giving me little kisses everywhere.
When the playended, like a gale; the General carried me to the carriage. On the ride home, Iwas on his lap again. He would not let me get away. He whispered how he didn’twant to let me go home and other sweet things and kissing me. (Zuben:*swoon*I’m dead)
My nasalmucosa held firm; it is strong! Thank you mother, for giving birth to a childwith strong nasal mucosa.
Somehow, I’min love! I was immersed in various thoughts that I should be ashamed of as agirl. (Zuben: What kind of thoughts Fredericka?) I should have more lovelythoughts. (Zuben: Boring) I’m sorry but I don’t feel like that.
When theGeneral dropped me off at him, he said, ‘I will come and give my greetingsformally,’ I did not understand.
I was in daze,walking on air, I went to take a bath and went to bed without properly tellingmy parents the big news.
The next day,it became a serious thing. (Zuben: Hey! Is this the right book?!)
24 Jealousy Jealousy
‘What? Whatdid you say about Brennan?’
I could not believemy ears.
Brennan waswith a young girl on a date at the theatre?! And the girl is that…Lady Castley!
‘It can’t betrue, is it?’ I asked cross examining the Chamberlain.
‘Summon thatCastley girl that used her charms on Brennan right now!’
The chamberlain’sface went blue and he ran to do as I bid.
♢
I oversleptthe morning after I went to the theatre to see a play I did not watch. So I hada late breakfast with Mother.
Father hadleft early for Parliament meetings.
After I eatsome of my breakfast, I gave mother a full report of last night’s happenings.
‘GeneralBrennan proposed to you!’
‘I suppose itwas a proposal, he told me he wanted me to be his wife.’ I told Mother, shylycovering my face with my hands.
His wife!
That wasindeed a proposal.
Oliver smiledand placed a fruit tart before me.
‘It looks thatway, I guess…’
‘Congratulations,our Lady,’ Oliver said with a smile. I felt warmth in my chest as the servantsechoed his sentiment.
Everyone is sokind, I thought, as tears threatened to fall.
It had onlybeen a short time since Eugene broke off the engagement with me and the Terrorof the Falling Underwear and now I am engaged to General Brennan. I feel reallylucky, but I am also scared that with this good luck windfall, something badwill happen but there didn’t seem to be anything. (Zuben: yet)
While deep inthought, I sipped my tea. Just then, I could hear running from down thecorridor.
‘Mistress!Miss! OH!’
I find thisdesperate face familiar. It was the same as the time General Brennan said hewas coming to visit.
‘What’s wrong,Marie?’
It would befine if the general wanted to visit, everything was prepared. He can come atanytime!
‘Oh, mygoodness…a letter! A letter came from the Palace! You’ve been summoned by theCrown Prince!’ She said between puffs of breath
She held out acrumpled letter in her trembling hands.
Oliver quicklytook it from her and turned a shocked gaze to Mother and I,
‘It isdefinitely a summons to the Palace by Prince Stefan.’
Eh? Why?
*
Mother and Iquickly changed into suitable Palace visiting attire. With Oliver, Marie andtwo foot men we rushed to the Palace. As soon as we alighted from the carriage,everyone was so impolite. We aren’t courtesans!
‘Come now.’
‘Hurry along.’
They urged us.
We were rushedinto a private visitor drawing room,
‘Wait here.’They said rudely and left hastily.
‘Is the Palacealso lacking talented people?’ Marie and I asked each other.
Unlike Marieand I who were taken aback, Mother was calm. She merely raised an eyebrow andtook herself to very elegantly sit on a settee. Oliver began to pour her teafrom the tea things that had been left. It looked quite luxurious, there was awonderfully mellow aroma from the tea, but I could not enjoy it.
What did thePrince want with me?
Was aboutGeneral Brennan…or was it about Eugene? The engagement cancellation has beenapproved. Or perhaps I had been unknowingly rude to him? I was thinking of howI would sincerely apologise when Father entered. I went to him
‘Good day,Father.’
It was alreadyearly afternoon, but he returned the greeting. Oliver left.
Father had afrown on his face as he held his hand on his forehead. Did he have a headache?
‘Fredericka,tell me important things early.’
‘Yes. Isgreeting more important than anything?’
Father tiltedhis head back and sighed. He and Mother share a look.
Haha, you twoare funny.
‘Not so,foolish girl. I mean about yesterday!’
Oh, aboutGeneral Brennan.
‘It was lateand I was tired.’ And embarra.s.sed above all, so it was hard to say.
But, was thatthe cause of this summons; yesterday’s incident?
‘I’m sorry.’ Iapologised to father.
He tooksomething from his pocket and forcibly drank it, looking disgusted. (Zuben:Despite everything, Daddy hoped the General won’t realise his feelings soquickly)
‘She can’t beat home forever,’ Mother said with a strange laugh behind me.
♢