Cinderella Did Not Leave Her Shoe

Fredericka…

Today Mother and I are chatting anddoing things well born young ladies do; embroidery. Surprisingly, it issomething I can immerse myself in.

However, today Mother was fishing.

‘So do you like General Brennan,Fredericka?’

Eh?!!

Wait. What is with this suddenquestion? (Zuben: You did tell your father, remember?) I haven’t heard that onehad to suffer mental attacks during embroidery. My hands lost their rythym.

‘Well, do you like him or not?’Mother pressed on.

I concentrate on the embroiderypattern, in order not to make a mistake, trying to diligently thread theunderpainting. But, I feel like I will make a mistake, but I answered asdiplomatically as I could, ‘Well I like him as a person…’

‘What about as a man?’

Ouch. I p.r.i.c.ked my finger.

There is blood.

I pick up a handkerchief to dab theblood. Hmm, blood on the handkerchief…would you like to see red flowersblooming on the spot of blood? I could add some tangled ivy…

Chicken.

‘Fredericka.’

My mother pointed her embroideryneedle at me.

Stop it, don’t point the sharp endof the needle at a person. I was scared if would not end with just a stabbing.

‘I…I don’t suit the General.’

I was just a child. Father told methat the General was thirty five years old. To him, I must seem like a sucklingchild, I bet.

‘Who do you think would suit him?’Mother asked probing deeper. Because I am afraid of her needle, I answeredhonestly,

‘A mature woman; one who isbeautiful, educated, with the strength to support him, and is conservative andgenerous.’ Not someone cheeky like me.

I feel like crying now.

I heard an incredulous, ‘Huh?!’ from myMother.

Mother, mother, sometimes you don’tact like a Countess.

‘There is no such perfect woman.’My mother replied.

I was embarra.s.sed and tossed myembroidery at the table. Marie makes a scolding noise and searches for theneedle.

‘Even if such a person would suitthe General…’

‘What sort of man would suit you?’

I groaned. I could not deny theimage of the general that appeared in my head.

‘Anyone would be fine. Although,someone like me who was jilted doesn’t have the option to marry whomever. Ifyou would like me to be married, maybe I can marry an ero-ero old man?’

I only had a few options.

Option 1: Not marry. Because Ernestis Father’s successor, I would be in his way. So I would have to live alone asa single woman. Even if I worked in the business, my presence would be resultin a bad evaluation of my family; that is not good. I could enter a nunnery,finish my whole life as a virgin.

Oh that’s not it.

Start a business for the monasteryto make money for the orphanage. Maybe.

Option 2: Succeed the FamilyBusiness. I guess that is alright. But I guess I might need to find a studafter all.

Option 3: The common pattern of ayoung lady who has pa.s.sed marriageable age; settle down as a second wife.

Well, I’m still young and unusualin this industry. Haha!

So what do you say?

Thinking of the three options I nodto myself and take a sip of tea.

‘Well, General Brennan could be theero-ero old man?’

Let’s see…what?!

Hey, what are you saying, mother?!

How could you think that?!

‘Mother, General Brennan is not anero-ero old man.’ I argued, with tears filling my eyes. I imagined the generallooking at me with lewd eyes like those men and I shuddered.

Marie nodded while patting my back,‘General Brennan is a gentleman.’ She said supporting me.

‘Why are you guys thinking abouterotic things? The General is not impossible. He hasn’t ever been married. Soyou would be his first wife, isn’t that a good thing?’

I do not want to hear how his flewaway okay.

Also, are you ignoring logic, thegeneral’s taste and circ.u.mstances?

I took a deep breath to calm downand sipped my tea.

‘It would be annoying to theGeneral.’ I said coldly trying to keep calm.

I don’t understand what my Motheris thinking.

‘Try and act cute for now so he canhave a distinct impression of you. Just put aside your shame. And if it doesn’twork out, I will be here to comfort you.’

Oh that is amazing.

‘So for now, if you like him, whydon’t you try tempting him?

‘Whu! What?’

‘Don’t be too hasty and get f.u.c.kedup. I mean, talk honestly, maybe hold hands?’

Uh Oh

That hurdle is high. I’ve never hadto do such a thing. I didn’t do such a thing with Eugene…I-I couldn’t do it.

‘You like the General, don’t you?’

I didn’t reply.

Mother pestered me, ‘Do you likehim or not?’

Do I really like the general thatway?

‘I like him…’

As soon as I said the words, myeyes grew hot and tears threatened to fall. But Mother hugged me to her abundantbosom; she was soft and she smelled nice.

‘Do your best alright, and if youhave any trouble, just push your chest against him.’

I burst out laughing, Motherlaughed too.

That’s right, the b.r.e.a.s.t.s are aweapon. It didn’t work on Eugene, maybe it would work on General Brennan.

‘If it’s lady’s b.r.e.a.s.t.s, it will bealright.’ Marie said, encouraging the madness.

I don’t think this is alrightthough. I remember a similar conversation…

When the sky began to show thecolours of twilight, General Brennan came to take me to the theatre. Unlike thearmour he had been wearing when we met in the training fields, he was wearinga gentlemanly blue coat, with beautifully ornate embroidery. Under Oliver’swatch, he bowed over my hand, and escorted me out to the carriage.

It felt like a dream as I said,‘Thank you,’

His hand was warm.

As the maids and footmen watched us, frombeside Oliver, we made our way to the carriage.

It was as though we were walking onfluffy clouds.

♢

The evening before yesterday, myfather casually proclaimed,

‘The general is coming to take youto see a play the day after tomorrow.’

At that point in time, I haddecided to eat my chiffon cake with my hand rather than the fork. Oliver gentlychastised my unladylike behaviour. But amongst family, it was okay.

Why would Father tell me such athing at this moment?! 

My mouth hung open and the cakefell out.

Father folded his arms.

‘The general was forward and boughtthe tickets before he even asked me. He wanted to go see the play with you thatmuch.’

Oh good heavens!

General Brennan wanted to go outwith me?!

I looked at Mother, who gave me twothumbs up from across the table.

I’m so happy I don’t know what todo with myself.

Was it safe to say the General didnot dislike me?

Father smirked, and held my face inhis hands,

‘Fredericka, when are you going tochange?’ he asked.

Mother elbowed him in the ribs. Itdidn’t look painful, but father collapsed in his chair like he fainted.

‘You must behave like a lady. Be agood girl and don’t cause any problems for the General. Do your best so that itcan’t be said that you are uncouth because you are rich.’ Mother said.

Father recovered quickly andgrasped my hands in his, ‘No, the direction you need to work hard in isdifferent.’ He said a little mournfully.

‘You both have only met threetimes. You do not know each other well; don’t make a mistake here, alright?’

That’s true.

Our first meeting wasn’t really ameeting, since I pretended to faint, when I lost my underwear. Really, it couldbe said, it was only a shallow acquaintance; we have only properly met twice.

It is surprisingly dark content. Ipretended to faint because I lost my undies in front of him. Then we circledaround, and then our third meeting, I fell and dropped the sandwiches.

It will forever be etched in mymemory, aside from his likes and dislikes.

‘Oh what are you on about? Youkissed me when we first met!’ Mother said with a chuckle before she sipped hertea.

It seems that father is not onlyfast in business, he was the same in love as well.

Yet, Father is concerned aboutthings going in that direction. (Zuben: He doesn’t want to lose his baby thatquickly) It is makes me feel embarra.s.sed that Father is worrying about such athing.

But I don’t think he needs to havesuch worries; to the General, I am just an unusual creature or his friend’sdaughter.  I want him to recognise me asan individual named Fredericka if I can!

Okay, I will do my best with thisgoal in mind!

I quickly ate my cake, and excusedmyself from the table. (Zuben: Priorities)

I pulled Marie along and rushed tomy room. We have to think of my clothes and accessory combination that wouldmake me look cute!

And this time, I could try a lowcut dress, couldn’t I? With the necklace I just bought from Kalome!

‘Milady,’ Marie called, ‘what styledo you want to go for? Fairy? Princess? Or…’ was she going to say somethingexciting and dreamlike?

‘Or you can be an ordinary Lady?’

Send that thought back to where itcame from!

The answer is…fairy.

I thought a fairy had come from thefairy lands.

Lady Fredericka was wearing a softblue dress of silk, lace and chiffon. She looked like she was floating withdelicate wings as she walked. My heart beat painfully in my chest. (Zuben: Abegmarry this guy quickly before he expires)

Her dress was low cut, but itwasn’t vulgar. Never vulgar. It emphasised her delicate beauty, as well as thebeautiful workmanship of the necklace she was wearing. It made a “sharshara”sound as she moved.

I held her hand while suppressingthe strange desire to have my teeth on her clavicle. She was like cotton candy.Ephemeral. She looked like she would melt away and disappear if I didn’t holdher and confirm her existence. Yet I was afraid that she would want to touch awarbler like me. Yet, I was escorting her.

As we rode in the carriagetogether, the night looked more beautiful than usual.

 ‘Your dress is very beautiful. It suits you.’I tell her.

She smiled and lowered her gazeshyly as she replied, ‘Thank you.’

She more dressed more beautifullythat she was at the training grounds the other day.

I was beginning to be impatient.

Her golden hair was put up, andheld with elegant hair ornaments. Her neck was exposed, but tendrils of hairhung stylishly around her face and neck, attracting my attention.

On the battlefield, the battle flagblowing in the wind attracts the eyes of the soldiers more than anything else.People’s gazes were attracted to moving objects. Certainly, Lady Frederickawill attract attention at the theatre like a flag in the battlefield.

Fortunately, she was still unknownnow because of the bad rumours surrounding her. Her fairy like beauty and herkind heart were still not known well. But as she became acquainted with morepeople, she would soon be approached by men. Soon, she would find a man moresuited to her than I am.

I scramble around in my brain infrustration looking for a topic that might interest Lady Fredericka

‘…Lady Fredericka likes to go tothe jewellery store often?’ I asked. (Zuben: Foot meet mouth)

I realised my blunder as soon as Ispoke. This was one of the offences that the Duke’s messenger had wordedagainst her. I feel all the blood drain from my face. I felt terrible and Icould not meet her eyes. I haven’t had this feeling since I was a new soldierbefore my superior officers at recruitment. I wondered how I could rectify thisblunder, but nothing came to mind. I am filled with despair. (Zuben: zetsubou shiita!)

I hallucinated a mocking sniff, asthough Xavier was here mocking me.

‘Yes.’ She replied, ‘I really likegoing to Kalome.’

I looked at her. She had noappearance of being hurt by my words. Xavier had told me of Kalome; it was anup and coming jewellery shop that was attracting customers from all works withingenious designs and ideas. It was at the top of the list of places to buygifts for Fredericka that Xavier had drawn up for me.

‘Actually, I am making and designingnew accessories with the designer of Kalome. This is a prototype.’ She saidshaking her necklace.

‘New accessories…?’

‘Yes. Proper jewels are expensive,and getting new ones like new clothes isn’t just going to happen like that,except if one’s family has heirlooms. So we are trying to design more stylishand wearable accessories that would match girls’ attire.’

I think that accessories are fineif they match the wearer or their attire. She spoke she put her fore-finger toher chin which attracted my eyes to her full rose coloured lips. There wereinviting like freshly ripe and juicy fruit. (Zuben: ero-ero oyaji)

‘What about being able to add orremove strands and stones, so the necklace looks different each time.’ I saidthoughtfully.

She smiled, ‘Exactly! The necklaceI am wearing is just like that.’ Fredericka raised the necklace and leanedforward to show me that strands and links could be removed. Her unprotectedchest came closer to me.

The moral part of me was disgustedthat I was staring at a lady’s bosom. But another part of me wanted her closerso I could see it properly. My not-so-moral side won. (Zuben: Yay!)

At this time, the carriage wellwent over a large stone, that there was a great b.u.mp. Lady Frederickaexclaimed…

It"s a sunny long weekend where I am, except I"m working booooo!
Hope you all have a nice one. 

♢