Reflections of a Bachelor Girl.
by Helen Rowland.
"JUST once more" is the Devil"s best argument.
VARIETY is the spice of love.
THE only people who believe in a personal devil, nowadays, are the ones who are married to that kind.
THE girl who marries for money is bought; but the girl who marries for love is sold.
A WISE lover, like a good cook, is one who knows when the fire is out.
ALIMONY is the price of peace.
IN marriage, the love-light so often goes out as soon as the gas bills begin to come in.
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THE only way to be happy with a husband is to learn to be happy without him most of the time.
LOVE is just the shine on the jewel of matrimony; but, after all, the shine on a jewel is the whole thing.
A MAN firmly believes that, if he can only keep his wife in the straight and narrow path, he can go out and zig-zag all over the downward one without falling from grace.
A GIRL is never so surprised when a man proposes to her as he is.
LOVE doesn"t really "make the world go "round," it only makes us so dizzy that everything seems to be going round.
ENNUI is "that tired feeling" that a girl has when the right man doesn"t show up and the wrong one does.
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STRANGE, how joyfully a man will pay a lawyer five hundred dollars for untying the knot that he begrudged paying a clergyman fifty dollars for tying.
WHEN a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.
IT gives a girl silver threads among the gold to marry her ardent admirer and find out afterward that she has tied herself to a life-critic.
AS FAR as men are concerned, a woman"s reputation for brains is worse than no reputation at all.
ALAS, if husbands were only like sewing machines, and we could have them sent up on trial!
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KISSING a girl, without first telling her that you love her, is as small and mean as letting a salesman take you for a free ride in an automobile when you have no intention of buying it.
DIVORCE is the "Great Divide," over which many men think they will pa.s.s into Heaven.
A MAN can never be made to understand why a woman will pay fifty dollars for a hat containing ten dollars worth of material and forty dollars worth of style.
YOUTH will be youth; a young man chases temptation, folly, and chorus girls as naturally as a kitten chases its tail.
FLINGING yourself at a man"s head is like flinging a bone at a cat; it doesn"t fascinate him, it frightens him.
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MEN say they admire a woman with high ideals and principles; but it"s the kind with high heels and dimples that a wife hesitates to introduce to her husband.
MARRIAGE is the black coffee that a man takes to settle him after the love-feast.
LOVE is the feeling that makes a man turn on the hot water when he meant to light the gas, go hunting for a collar when what he wanted was a pair of socks, shave every day, and forget whether or not he has had any lunch.
HAPPINESS is at high-tide at the full of the honeymoon.
SOMEHOW, a man who has been thrown over always lands on his knees to another girl.
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A CONFIRMED bachelor girl is one who hasn"t married--yet.
TOO many "flames" dry up the well-spring of love.
IT IS difficult for an old horse to learn new tricks--but an old _man_ hasn"t sense enough not to try.
THE tenderest spot in a man"s make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
NEVER worry for fear you have broken a man"s heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week"s rest will put it in perfect working condition again.
A RICH girl need not bother to cultivate the art of conversation in order to be fascinating. Her money will do the talking.
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NOTHING can exceed the grace and tenderness with which men make love--in novels--, except the off-hand commonplaceness with which they do it in real life.
ABOUT the only sign of personal individuality that the average woman is allowed to retain after she marries is her toothbrush.
THERE are just three brands of masculine affection: platonic, which is love without kisses; plutonic, which is kisses without love, and kisses WITH love--which is almost extinct.
OF course women should marry; no home is complete without a husband any more than it is without a cuckoo clock or a cat.
"HOME" is any four walls that enclose the right person.
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NO MAN can understand why a woman shouldn"t prefer a good reputation to a good time.